It's something I've been thinking about for a while. Searching, I guess, or the pursuit of what I perceive to be love has been a costly pastime.
Not financially, of course, but coming to an understanding of the role of love in life has caused a lot of soul searching, heartache, heartbreak and worry.
No-one wants to be alone, though ultimately we all are alone in some way. How do we fill the gaps? Am I over-analyzing something that is inherently simple but often in reality very complicated.
By my estimation there are a few types of love on Earth, aside from the love of God.
There's intimate, romantic love; love for one's family; love for friends. I think the latter two are easier to define yet they still cause me troubles.
I wonder if I have what it takes to truly devote myself to someone, as DS says to present them blameless before God. I wonder whether the `one' for me has come and gone and I missed it, or whether they are in my life now but I haven't taken the chance.
It's a big chance to take. My last experience, which is now a few years ago, of even coming close to asking someone out didn't end well. Once bitten....
What seems to cause more of a worry, and it really shouldn't, is the relationships I have with friends. From my perspective they seem different, though I am kept at a distance; or even is it me subconsiously keeping distance. I crave contact with people yet I often feel removed.
Or am I thinking too much and acting too little.....
7 comments:
Mate, I spoke to a mate just last week who has crashed and burnt a couple of times recently. He just shrugged and said "Thats part of being a guy," and he was dead right.
There could be any number of reasons why a girl knocks back an advance, and you have to learn to shrug it off. Every guy gets knock backs.
Even the greatest lover in history, Casanova, got knocked back on 3 out of every 4 attempts.
Just go for it. If she says "no," shrug your shoulders and start thinking and praying about the next one.
No guy is going to knock you if you crash and burn because we have all been there. Nothing to lose mate.
There is something to be said for having a go, I know. I'm probably more guilty than most for not having a go. I have been distracted at times though that is not really an excuse.
Watch "Band of Brothers" - thats what I always do when I need to be inspired with courage...
Hi Ray - just a quick comment on the friendship issue - I have found it really easy to rely on friends when I should be relying on God. I've started to think that if I'm getting what I need from God (eg a sense of being loved and cared for) then I can give more to my friends without expecting anything in return.
But then, God gives us friends and community so I'm not sure how much I should expect from them...still thinking it through!!
Even in marriage your partner can't fill all your emotional needs so the relationship with God is still the fundamental one.
Thanks for that Alison, you make a good point. Expectation is a tricky thing and has caused its fair share of trouble.
I think there is a risk for many of us to think too much and act too little.
I like your thoughts, and thats probably cos i can relate to a number of them and the questions you ask. I have no answers though haha sorry.
Although i will say, have you seen Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless mind?
Challenging in the area of romantic love - there is risk involved - relating of course to your post on fear keeping one single...
hm anyway, you are not alone in these thoughts and quesitons...
Yeah I have seen Eternal Sunshine and loved it, as I like almost all Jim Carrey's films.
Someday I'm going to have to act in some way, or else in 10 years time I'll still be here pondering the same questions and wondering why things are the way they are.
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