Revelations

Something occurred to me the other day.
I was reading an article about climate change and global warming and it struck me that the things I worry about are nothing. Nothing, that is, compared to what people might have to deal with in 50 to 100 years time.
In some areas of my life I am so afraid of change, despite having denied that fact at least once this year. I have become so accustomed to life as it is now that it seems like I've moved myself into this comfortable little corner. The problem is that it is suffocating.
That's a gloomy description, I know. But I have spent far too much time in damage control. Something has to happen and happen soon. I can't allow myself to be dominated by, if you know what I mean, internal (physically) stuff that I have very little control over.
So while I am sitting around just making sure that everything is under my control another year has slipped by. 2006 has only six or seven weeks to go and, at this stage, 2007 is looking pretty much the same as the last.
Surviving is no good if you aren't living and I've allowed my boundaries to get so cramped that most of the time that is all I am doing. Make no mistake proposing any kind of alteration to the status quo is very much easier said than done.
I can't just all of a sudden become reckless.
But it's a little tough to think about stepping off a ledge when you're not sure that someone will be there to catch you.
I just don't want to be sitting at my computer in November 2007 and wondering what happened to the year and why I didn't do one thing or another.