Godfellas

I was watching Futurama this afternoon (while I was doing my ironing) and it was what I think is the best episode, Godfellas.
The episode surrounds Bender (pictured), he is catapulted into space and goes on an `endless tragic voyage'. It's great stuff. Along the way he runs into an asteroid field and something collides with him and sticks onto him.
It turns out it is a small society and they take to their `metal Lord', one guy in particular, named Malachai communicates with Bender regularly.
Bender gives commandments, well one commandment, that his people build a brewery. It's great to watch as Bender discovers that being God isn't as easy as he thought.
Eventually Bender's interference destroys society and he realises that everytime he meddles something goes horribly wrong. So he decides not to act on everyone's prayers. From there the people take it upon themselves to handle what is going on in the world.
What happens is funny, yet tragic.
Bender then comes across an entity that may or may not be God. He is told that `if you do things right then people won't think you've done anything at all'. That struck me as quite true.
I don't think it is any coincidence that the best episodes of Matt Groening's shows (the other being of course The Simpsons) deal with religion. There's a lot of fun to be had there but I also think that most of the time religion comes up on top.
Bender concludes, once `God' returns him to Earth, that `you can't rely on God for anything' and that you must do everything yourself.
Clearly he hasn't learned anything.

The whole Tooth II

I had a visit to the orthodontist today for some photos and moulds to be taken on my teeth. It's an interesting process and the jelly they use for the mould has a strange taste.
Anyway, it will be another two weeks before I go back for a `treatment plan'.
I have decided, though, in the light of the difficult circumstances created when I had that last tooth removed that I will slow the process a bit.
Basically I think that the disruption that the extraction caused was too big given how it affected the rest of me, which has a tenuous grip on health as it is. So I won't be rushing out to get the next one yanked out in the near future.

Just another update. I spoke to my mum this afternoon and she looks like being released from hospital tomorrow on a new set of medication. It still sounds a little worrying but the fact that they haven't said `you must have an angiogram now' is I guess a good thing.

Powerless

From a distance everything is calculated, smoothe
Look closer
But not too close
What don't you see, what don't you hear
The journey is long and uneasy
The road is short
The steps are many
The feet tire easily
Not just the feet
It's not about will or desire
It's not about truth or lies
It's about power
Confusion, misunderstanding, denial
Assumptions, pressures, failings
Some mine, some not
Some cut deep, some barely scratch
Don't ask, don't tell
Don't worry, be happy
Don't lose control
I'm not in control
I don't know what I'm doing
I don't know who you are
I don't know what is next
Beginnings and endings
Stuck in the middle
Stuck in a circle
It's vicious
It's dictating
It's not that powerful
I have the power
I have some power
I'm powerless

Electrophobia

I've just picked up a new, unplugged, CD by one of my favourite groups (I know that is a broad category) Taxiride.
It's a compilation of their singles, including Get Set, Creepin' Up Slowly, How I Got This Way and Afterglow performed acoustically. Included is a new song, Everything's Changed, which I think is right up there with their best songs. There's also a studio version of that song.
Taxiride is an underrated band who enjoyed early success but seem to have gone missing a bit from the charts in the last couple of years. That's a shame, because they're excellent and even better live.

Unsettled

Yesterday was like any other day then I received a text message from my sister saying to ring when I was home.
With no sense of urgency I stopped in at the shopping centre for a frivolous purchase then headed home. Some 60 minutes after getting the SMS I called home to be told my mum was in hospital after having a heart scare.
See about six years ago, around this time of year, she had a major heart operation which almost wasn't successful. It took a long while for her to recover and get back to normal. She has a massive scar, I am told, where most people have a barely noticeable one by the same stage.
After calling home I called the hospital (in Tamworth) and spoke to her. She was in the ICU department until late yesterday when she went into a ward after being cleared of anything major. As it stands she will be in the ward through the weekend but there is a chance of an early release. I'm told it is only precautionary and she was more concerned about what horses I was going to tip her for her punter's club bets this weekend.
So fortunately it all looks good but it is very unsettling. I don't want to make this about me but it's not good being 500km from your family when something like this happens, even if it isn't considered serious.
It's been a little hard to not think about it and even at the movies last night I was a shade distracted. I guess I'll be happier once she gets released from the hospital.

The Departed

The much-vaunted return to form for Martin Scorsese, The Departed, has winner written all over it from the production, direction and cast yet it just falls short somehow.
With a cast including Jack Nicholson, who is in his usual brilliant form, Martin Sheen, Mark Walhberg, Matt Damon (great to see him in a different role to his usual), Alec Baldwin and Leonardo Di Caprio, if the film wasn't any good you'd have to wonder why.
With the pivotal role of Bill Costigan, the movie's success rests on Di Caprio's performance and he delivers big time. As a fan of his earlier movies like Gilbert Grape and the Basketball Diaries, it was excellent to see him in that kind of form.
I possibly went in expecting a non-stop tour de force that was going to blow me away so that didn't help in the end. The good thing was at 150 minutes the movie didn't feel overly long, and the pace was pretty frantic, so that's always a positive.
While there will probably be Oscar nominations coming from this, the large amount of language was a bit of a turn off. For one or two characters every second word was colourful. I'm not offended as such but wonder how necessary it is. Given the nature of the world in which the movie is set, though, one should expect there do be plenty of expletives.
This film won't rank among the top five for the year but it was well made, very well acted and entertaining. A 7.5 out of 10.

2006 Cox Plate

Saturday's Cox Plate is shaping as a pretty interesting race. I've been on Racing To Win all the way through this spring and I see no reason to jump off. I think he's the best horse in Australia at the moment and a Cox Plate win would prove that estimation.

The field is:
1 Casual Pass N Rawiller (11) 58kg
2 Fields Of Omagh C Williams (7) 58
3 Grey Swallow S King (1) 58
4 El Segundo D Gauci (10) 58
5 Lad Of The Manor D Nikolic (2) 58
6 Honor In War S Arnold (13) 58
7 Our Smoking Joe D Beadman (5) 58
8 Racing To Win G Boss (6) 56.5
9 Apache Cat G Childs (12) 56.5
10 Red Dazzler J Cassidy (3) 56.5
11 Pompeii Ruler C Newitt (9) 56.5
12 Aqua D’Amore K Fallon (8) 56.5
13 Miss Finland L Cropp (4) 46

The greatest race ever!

This week is Cox Plate week, the best race on the Australian racing calendar. It's usually won by the best horse in the country and such champions as Makybe Diva, Northerly, Sunline, Octagonal and Kingston Town (three times) have won it.
But the greatest running was 20 years ago, in 1986, when two Kiwi horses staged an 800m war that was unforgettable. This isn't the best version as far as the race call goes but the race still speaks for itself. In the best call, Bill Collins declares Bonecrusher `races into equine immortality' when he defeats Our Waverley Star.
I still get chills when I see this race.

The Phar Lap mystery

It seems the mystery surrounding the death of Australia's greatest racehorse, Phar Lap, has been solved, see the Telegraph's story here.
It has always been suspected that the horse had been nobbled, murdered, by someone after his amazing win in Mexico. Whether the evidence that has been discovered is conclusive is another thing but if nothing else there is at least something to back up the long held theory.
Phar Lap was the best racehorse ever seen in Australia (it goes without saying that I never saw him race) but the legend has certainly lived on some 74 years after his untimely death.
If you've never seen the movie made in 1983 it is well worth watching. Every time I watch the scene where he enters the mounting yard for the 1930 Melbourne Cup I get chills.
At the very start of the film an interviewer asks the trainer, Harry Telford: `why do you think there has been such a reaction to Phar Lap's death, after all he was just a horse'.
The repsonse is fitting: `He wasn't just a horse, he was the best.'

Burnout?

After a couple of chats at church last night I started thinking about burnout as a possibility for explaining why I feel crummy a lot but not actually sick.
While there have been a couple of circumstances, such as tooth extractions, it seems to make more sense the more I think about it.
So I took an online test and, according to the results, I am a candidate for burnout (see below).

Here's your score:
Your score is = 47
Scores 0-25: Doing Fine.
Scores 26-35: Watch out you are at risk.
Scores 36-50: Candidate for Burnout.
Scores 51-65: You are Burning out.
Scores 65+: Burned out.

Now it's been six long months since my last break from work and during that time there have been periods of high workload and little rest. Then there has been the debacle with switching jobs that was most disappointing. Then when I tried to have holidays they got vetoed. Lots of built up frustration there.
I also find it tough to talk to some people, particularly my housemate whom I guess I expect to understand a bit more than others since I see him almost everyday. I guess I also, wrongly it seems, expect him to offer support. Instead mostly I get some kind of flippant response which may or may not be his way of being supportive. (It should be noted here than my expectation is usually higher than the reality when it comes to this particular thing.)
I don't find it fun on any level to be in this period of unrest where health is constantly either an issue or a concern. Only 4 or so weeks until that much needed break.

Children Of Men

`As the sound of the playgrounds faded, the despair set in. Very odd, what happens in a world without children's voices.'

London, 2027. The world is a very different place to the one we recognise. Humans are somehow sterile and no child has been born for over 18 years. The youngest person on the planet, a celebrity because of that status, is murdered. Refugees are being deported. People have lost hope.
The excellent Clive Owen stars in Children Of Men, based on the book by P.D.James. He plays Theo, a reluctant hero, who is `recruited' by his ex-wife Julian (played by the also excellet Julianne Moore) to escort a woman out of England. This wouldn't be so unusual except the woman, Kee, is pregnant. Also in the film is Michael Caine who plays Theo's friend Jasper, a hippy type who enjoys life away from war-torn London.
You have to suspend disbelief a bit, of course, being a futuristic movie but it is strangely plausible. What would happen if women were unable to have babies. There's a real sense of despair here, you can't help but feel it.
Theo is reluctant to come on board with the mission until he discovers Kee's secret. From there it's them against the world as he tries to protect her and give her safe passage to be rescued by the Human Project, who no-one has seen but everyone seems to know about.
I think everyone will know the main premise of the movie by now and I won't go any further into the plot. What I will say is this is a must-see.
It's not unnecessarily long, as it could well have been, and I don't think anyone will win Academy Awards but it is riveting. It's fascinating to imagine how you would react if faced with a world where there actually is no hope. As Theo says in one seen, `what's the use of all this (excess) if no-one will be around in 100 years?'
I was glued to the chair, I found the film very moving even to the point of having tears flowing down my cheeks and that has never happened before in a movie. At first the film destroys your faith in humanity then, just when you think people can't sink any lower, it poignantly restores that faith in human kind.
Powerful and, as I said, a must-see.
A 9 out of 10 (and I was tempted to go a little higher) and a contender for movie of the year.

Caulfield Cup/ `yeah-nah'

Tawqeet won the Caulfield Cup today and is now favourite for the Melbourne Cup. I think he is a false favourite.
Don't get me wrong it was an excellent win but had circumstances been different at around the 800m mark I'm certain there would have been a different result.
It's a hard one this year, there doesn't seem to be a standout and perhaps it is a year for the international horses to feature more prominently than filling the odd placing.

On another topic, and it's coming up more and more in racing circles, is people using the nonsensical response `yeah-nah' when asked a question. So what is it, yes or no?
For example, did you have a good run in the race? Yeah-nah we had a good run. It doesn't make sense. And it really annoys me.

Big Questions

Michael Jackson — freak or unique? Do you prefer real or fake? At the beach is it Speedos or boardshorts? Who would you choose Angelina or Jen? These and many more of life's big questions will be discussed, fought and determined in the hilarious new series Big Questions which premieres on Thursday, October 19, at 8.30pm.

OK, so it's probably just meant to be light entertainment but what a load of crap Channel 9 served up with it's much vaunted Big Questions show. Basically a panel for each side argues their case and the audience, who I'm sure already made up their mind before a word was spoken, votes.
The questions posed last night, and the winners as voted by theaudiencee were:
Friends vs Seinfeld (happy with this result)
Coke vs Pepsi
Beatles vs Rolling Stones
Sean Connery vs Roger Moore (as best Bond)
Sex or no sex on first date

Surely there has to be a better way to fill in an hour on TV. I quite enjoy 20 to 1 most of the time and the What A Year thing isn't bad either but I just wonder how long this one lasts.

New episodes

Met up with the One Tree Hill crew a couple of nights ago to watch two new episodes from season 3 (still waiting on the arrival of the box set).
So much happened and we realised that it had been far too long since we saw episodes three and four. After getting over the withdrawl we settled in and enjoyed what we saw.
The continuation of the battle between Dan and Deb with a points decision to Dan at this stage thanks to his innovative, yet disgusting, series of photos using Deb's toothbrush.
The new battle between Brooke and new girl Rachel over the cheerleading team and the realisation that some of the cheer girls aren't too bright (who's surprised).
Lucas' battle with HCM and not telling anyone he has it and Haley pressuring him to stop pushing himself or he's `off the planet'.
The Nathan and Chris situation still intrigues and there's so much more with Karen running for mayor against Dan and the mystery of what happened to Keith.
Like my housemate I found it frustrating that, having all this new information, there wasn't anyone to talk about it with the next day. Except him, of course.
Now that the appetite has been revived, we're keen to find out what happens in the rest of the season. Thanks to YouTube I've been dabbling in snippets of film, cheating yes but what choice to I have!

The whole Tooth

I lost another tooth today. It's amazing how large those things are, they're like icebergs.
It's all very uncomfortable at the moment. The bleeding has eased off but there's still a lot of residual blood lying around which I'm told may take a day or two to clear.
Eating is a bit of a challenge and I'm pretty sure soup will be on the menu for tonight.
I'm told it's all for the greater good so hopefully things can return to somewhat normal function quickly.

On a related topic, I seem to be highly unprepared, as I mentioned a while ago, for when trials come. I've known about this one for a while and yet I just want it to go away. I really want all of them to go away for a bit, give me a break.
If it's not one thing it seems to be something else. It's tiring and makes it difficult to persevere, even though I know it's only temporary.
I was told by the dentist that the extraction went very well and there didn't appear to be any sign of something going wrong. It just takes time to heal.
Next week I head off to get all sorts of moulds done on my teeth in preparation for the orthodontic work which will require more extractions - yay!

Top Five

For the sake of posting something, here are my top five songs at the moment. Bit of an eclectic mix but that probably reflects me a little.

1 - Over My Head (Cable Car) The Fray
2 - Lonely-Shannon Noll
3 - Taller, Stronger, Better-Guy Sebastian
4 - Call Me When You're Sober-Evanescence
5 - Who Knew-Pink

The one that stands out among that quinet is Guy Sebastian. I don't usually like his stuff (I'm kind of glad Shannon didn't win Idol because he would have been stuck with `Angels Brought Me Here' which I find very annoying) but this song really grabs me. It's been described as a bit Hillsong but that isn't bad.

For those wondering, I elected to have the night off church tonight. I've been really trying to shake off the virus in the last week or so but being silly enough to work and try and do things I had committed to have prevented that. Plus I have a one day weekend this weekend which makes it harder to relax.

Beautiful Awkward Pictures

Toni Collette can sing!
Granted I have only heard the couple of songs on her single `Beautiful Awkward Pictures' but I was highly skeptical going in. Actors turned singers are hit and miss at best.
I like what I hear.
It's not mind blowing music but really nice to listen to, kind of bittersweet and seemingly the type of music you would put on when you want to relax and reflect. A bit like what he means when John Cusack says on High Fidelity ``I just want to listen to something I can ignore''. I'm not saying ignore this but it's great background music from what I can tell. And I like that kind of thing.
Worth checking out.
There are samples at the Toni Collette And The Finish website.

If the Simpsons were real...

What if the Simpsons were a real life family?
OK, so there are a few errors in here but it's pretty close to the mark. Enjoy

Beyond Measure

Hot on the heels of the new Chris Tomlin CD (which I am loving) is the latest from my other favourite Christian artist, Jeremy Camp.
Beyond Measure is his fourth CD (including the Carried Me worship CD) and is by all reports true to form.
Here's a quote from Jeremy Camp about the new album, posted on his myspace site.
``This album shows even more what God has done in my life than Restored. Its a little more personal to me, more like Stay, but musically and vocally it is leaps and bounds above both. This album is so diverse, but in such a good way. ''
His previous CDs, Stay and Restored, are awesome - it's kind of pop-rock and the ballads are inspiring in their praise. I've only heard a snippet of the first radio song, `Tonight' and it seems typical JC, meaning it's pretty good.
Apparently the album gets an early November release in Australia.

Brace yourself

A trip to the orthodontist today revealed that it is recommended I get braces. While this is something usually occurring in your teens it came as no surprise.
I have some time to think about it but I'm pretty sure I'm going to go for it.
The way I look at it, in five years time the teeth will probably be beyond the point of no return and I'll wonder why I didn't do something when I had the chance.
So now that I have the chance I'd be mad not to take it and repair the number one thing I don't like about myself.
I'm told it will be about an 18 month process, thereabouts, so sooner is much better than later.

Choices, troubles, darkness, light

By whatever means you see it, you are exactly where you want to be right now.
The choices you made, given the circumstances you find you in led to this point. We all fight against this truth but the more I think about it the more I think it is truth.

Sure, I don't like some of the thing that have occurred in the past. Far too much time, and energy, has been expended fighting against the reality that is right now. I'd like to say I won't let them win but in a way they are already winning.

Like someone crippled with a phobia-driven fear, circumstance has been in the drivers seat for as long as I can remember. What if people find out about this, or about that? What if I had done this or that? They won't like me if they know this. How could this happen to me? Some of those things are a result of choices made, some are not. But they could be.

I'd like to say I've learned a lot in the last year or so. I have learned a lot but have I done anything about it? I have learned that life is short. I have learned that humans are not invincible. I have learned that I took certain things for granted. These things shouldn't be learned at 30.

Count the cost. It's immeasurable. What is a normal life? Has it already beaten me? I won't give up, you can't give up, it's just that sometimes you want to. There's no alternative but to fight. I'm not a fighter. Life must go on. It stopped long ago. Time moves fast. Time is my greatest enemy.

Touch. There's a great wall before me. Distance. A road less travelled. Darkness. I get covered.

This is not me. I used to feel so strong. Now I feel weak. This is not me. I've been lying to you just to convince myself. This is not me. (borrowed lyrics from Delta Goodrem's This is Not Me)

There is a light. He has given me unbelievable strength. Acknowledgement isn't always forthcoming but He has never left me. I don't talk to Him enough but he always listens. People can hear you but they aren't always listening.

My choices have me standing where I am. Do I need to choose to change? Change is required but that means leaving the comfort zone. Comfort zones are called that because they are comfortable. Stress is bad. But if I stay in the comfort zone....

* Inspired somewhat by a blog written by Brant Fowler, see The Road Less Traveled , and I thank him for writing it.

Racehorse heaven

As a horse racing enthusiast I was excited to hear about an initiative, of course a Victorian* one, where retired racehorses will be housed together and the gates thrown open to the public.
Read about it here.
Melbourne Cup winners like Saintly (pictured from the Herald Sun article), Might And Power and a host of other greats all in the one paddock. It truly is horse heaven. If only I lived in Melbourne!

* In horse racing, anything innovative happens first in Victoria. It's just something we in NSW have come to accept. That's why their industry continues to thrive and we play catch up.

It's a virus

Apparently it's just a virus that has caused all sorts of problems in the last few days.
It looks like the temperature is subsiding but I still feel a bit spacey from time to time and tired.
The good news is the doctor didn't feel compelled to give me antibiotics and just said rest and fluids were the best thing.
Of course I am still stupid enough to go to work today. Partially because I enjoy my work most of the time and there isn't anyone else to do the job today.
Fortunately it isn't a strenuous day and I'll get away with it for now. But a couple of days of solid rest lie ahead and hopefully things can improve. I do have a couple of things I need to take care of in the next couple of days so there is a bit of conflict there.
As usual, I always default to the worst case scenario and was initially concerned about a flare up. But there are no other signs so that is highly unlikely.

Fever

According to the doctor, I have a temperature of 37.9 degrees - no wonder I have felt like burning for a few days. A day off or two is ahead now, rest and fluids and hopefully we can knock it on the head.

See The Morning - the review

I have already said that I believe Chris Tomlin is the benchmark when it comes to P&W music and his new, highly anticipated, CD `See The Morning' has done nothing to change that view.
It was a pleasant surprise when I was able to buy the CD today, having only called into the shop in my travels to check when it was released.
This is of course the follow-up to the outstanding `Arriving' CD of 2004. I won't do a track-by-track but just highlight what has struck me most on a couple of listens.
I think the stand-out song is `Made To Worship', which isn't unlike Indescribable (from the Arriving CD) in its praise.
But it's hard to convey the genuine emotion in words.
`You and I were made to worship
You and I are called to love
You and I are forgiven and free
When you and I embrace surrender
What you and I choose to believe
Then you and I will see who we were meant to be'

I quite like `Everlasting God' which wasn't actually written or co-written by Chris Tomlin and the last three songs, `Rejoice', `Let Your Mercy Reign' and `Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)' are really something.
I want to focus on Amazing Grace. It's a song we all know and I'm sure all love. To me classics like this are untouchable. The liner notes on the CD by Chris Tomlin say when he was researching the song he discovered the original final verse written by John Newton was different to the `10 Thousand Years' verse we sing. So he has recorded the original words and added a refrain. I think he has done justice to the song. It retains it's familiar feel. Covering classics is fraught with danger. He's done it well.

To finish, he explains why the CD is called `See The Morning', along with several bible verses. It is clear Chris wants the album to be positive and uplifting (not surprising for a P&W album).

He writes `The morning is a place of hope, a place of worship...I pray these songs help you see the morning. If you find yourself in the dark night of hardship, grief or circumstance, know that the morning is coming. And if you find yourself in the best of times, praise God for the morning.'

Darkness is welcome

After whingeing and complaining about it being far too light in my room in the mornings, today I finally did something about it.
With the sun rising between 5 and 6am these days I have been waking up too early for my liking. Today I bought curtains for the room and, having put them up, I think they should do the trick.
It may be a tad too dark in here at the moment, the electric light is struggling to fill up the room. I take that as a good sign for the night ahead.
I'm already looking forward to going to bed tonight!

Life Lessons From Cancer

Quite a moving article from this month's Southern Cross on one woman's battle with cancer, her struggle to shield her children and facing your own mortality.

I don't really need too much reminding about such issues but it really was something reading about how this woman has coped, and importantly survived.
I am reminded of last night's sermon from 1 Peter 1:13-25, following on from last week's discussion about trials. Last night we were challenged to be ready when trials come.
To be prepared.
I certainly wasn't prepared, mentally, for my trials of the last 18 months or so. I think that would be pretty obvious to just about anyone who knows me.
Another thing that is clear is that I am still not mentally prepared, so last night's jolt couldn't be more timely. I don't think it is stretching the imagination too much to say that I am firmly entrenched in denial.
While I understand a lot more about what's going on under my skin, mentally and emotionally (if those two things can be separated) I am running somewhat scared.
I'll quickly say that getting a hold of things is easier said than done but that is no excuse, it must be done.

The Devil Wears Prada

If you want to see an actor at their absolute best you could do worse than check out Meryl Streep's performance in The Devil Wears Prada.
While it didn't particularly appeal to me initially, I saw the film last night and was pleasantly surprised.
Streep plays Miranda Priestly, the editor of Runway magazine, and it quickly becomes apparent that she is seen by her staff as something of a monster. Anne Hathaway is the aspiring journalist, Andrea, who seeks a job at Runway out of desperation and who clearly doesn't fit in.
Fashion trends begin and end with Priestly and she can destroy a fashion line by simply pursiing her lips. She refers to both her assistants as `Emily' and at times refers to Andrea as `my new Emily'. She truly is an awful person.
I was quite taken with the performance of Emily Blunt as the `original' Emily, who has a very disarming, for me, English accent.
With her job on the line Andrea makes a last ditch effort to fit in and gets an image overhaul, referred to by another character as `selling her soul'. But is this what she really wants? Her relationships with her boyfriend (played by Adrian Greiner from Entourage) and her closest friends change quickly as she becomes driven and controlled by her job.
A lot of the advertising seems to think this film is a chick flick and while on one level I suppose it is, because how many of us are that into fashion, but it certainly isn't a romantic comedy. It is a comedy though and there were some very funny moments.
As I said, Streep is absolutely sensational. She drives the film and makes it entirely watchable. She also displays a small soft spot in her character which isn't easy to do when you are playing such a character.
I didn't expect to enjoy this. I'm giving a 7.5 out of 10. It wasn't a great film compared to some others, largely dramas, this year but I enjoyed it immensely.