Rambo

What you see is what you get.
Some 20 years after the last outing, Sylvester Stallone dusts off Rambo for a blood filled romp through troubled Burma.
I can't really elaborate more on the film as the story is pretty simple, Rambo unwillingly helps a bunch of missionaries reach the troubled country and then gets drawn into the conflict.
The body count is astronomical as is the use of the tomato sauce.
I have to say I thought this was much better than I was expecting. It's not Shakespeare but Stallone does send Rambo off much in the same way as he did Rocky Balboa last year.
While Rocky was a much, much better film in all ways, Rambo is what you'd expect from his character.
A 6 out of 10 and it's definitely a big screen job with a bunch of guys.

Three years earlier

It's kind of fitting that the One Tree Hill episode I watched tonight, I Forgot to Remember to Forget, was essentially a flashback episode to events that happend three years earlier. (About a year after the end of season 4).
It's appropriate because I've been thinking alot about the last three years and the journey I have been on. I almost feel like I've been living in my own nightmare for three years and I just woke up. While bordering on over-dramatic, that's not far from the truth. There have been great moments but some of it seems like a bad dream, and I just couldn't get out of it.
Since the events of the past week I have begun to feel differently. I do at times have one eye over my shoulder but that's better than two.
I still have a way to go.
Anyway, season 5 of OTH has been going along great. It seems Lucas (he's the guy in the picture, the central character) isn't over his high school love but is in some decent denial about it. I was watching the special feaures on season 4's box set and there was a quote from one of the producers that stood out: ``we're never going to be a big show, but we'll be someone's favourite show''. Very true. This is a series that has heart, soul and a sense of humour.
I can't wait to watch the next one.....

Do I feel lucky?

I started thinking about this shortly after my doctor yesterday told me I was one of the lucky ones, that is, of the patients he has in my situation.
Over the last few years I have definitely felt unlucky, or unfortunate, and not appreciated that while there is something to deal with it is manageable.
So, the results of the tests I had last week were outstanding, surprising and confusing.
The fact that the condition has gone into `full remission' is awesome and I have to say it has taken a decent weight off my shoulders. This doesn't mean I should cease being vigilant as there is still the possibility, in fact likelihood, that it could return. But it means I need to start feeling fortunate and therefore more relaxed about it.
It was more surprising to the doctor, though I am also surprised, but I was also hopeful when I had the tests that things would be no worse as I felt I had done everything possible (aside from excessive worry) that I could.
Why is it confusing? When I came out of hospital (day stay) last week with the preliminary result which was similarly great, it all felt surreal. There was no evidence of the problem in the test that was done, the last time I had it (3 years ago) there was pretty decent evidence.
While it's great to be given an all clear for now I am puzzled because I don't know how to process it, something that has been an incredible burden isn't there, or at least isn't around at the moment, and I'm not used to that.
I do need to keep in mind that cases of this never reappearing are rare, so I can't all of a sudden be reckless plus I've become accustomed to a healthy lifestyle.
So I really need to realise that I am fortunate, lucky, whatever adjective is appropriate, and begin moving forward. But it's great news and I'm looking forward to it sinking in.

Season 5

After a slowish start, season 5 of One Tree is startingto get pretty good. It's a brave move sending them past the college days but it looks like it is going to work.
Even better, season 5 has been confirmed as having 18 episodes. That's down from the original 22 but with the writers' strike knocking out a lot of time just over three quarters of a season isn't bad.
I'm only four episodes into season 5 but it's in that groove where I just want more.

A different side

Tonight was a special night.
Yeah it's Sunday and Sunday means church but this time it wasn't your run of the mill church event.
I had the pleasure of witnessing my friend Andrew (it sounds weird referring to you as that mate!) take over ministerial duties at his new church.
His is a smallish congregation, from what I could gather, but one that has embraced him enthusiastically and I am sure one that will thrive.
What was especially great was to see him present a part of himself to the congregation by way of symbols, however dubious the Collingwood flag might be, and I think that says a lot about how he intends to serve that church.
Another great thing was to see the ``minister'' side to my friend. It's a side that has always been there, present in any even half-serious conversation, but it was different to see it in action.
Well done mate, and looking forward to the Botany open!

Another great song....

I alluded to this song about a year go and it was remiss of me not to have posted a link so the uninitiated could hear.
The song is We Belong Together by Gavin Degraw. It is a touch raw sounding but sensitive and beautiful. It will get your mind thinking good thoughts and leave you with a smile.
I first heard it on a episode of One Tree Hill (where else) and it struck me then and it gets better with each listen. My only frustration is that you can't seem to get it anywhere - it's not on iTunes and unless there was a Tristan & Isolde soundtrack (which I also can't find on iTunes) I'm not likely to get my hand on it.
If you happen to have this song on CD, please let me know!

Preliminary results

I got back from my hospital visit a couple of hours ago and feel pretty good.
The results of my test were, I must admit, a lot better than I was hoping for and even surprised my doctor.
I still have a bit of bloating and stomach action going on from the procedure but it's so far so good. I'll get the full results of a couple of samples taken in a week or two but the doc didn't suggest that there was any huge rush and wasn't expecting anything major.
So I will cross that bridge later.
It's a bit surreal actually, given the result sheet I have. Praise God.

I am Lucas!

Which One Tree Hill Character Are You?

Created by BuddyTV

Celebrating watching the end of One Tree Hill season 4 last night was great and it was an awesome ending. So I took the quiz, as you do, and I am Lucas which is a good result.

Everybody's Changing

This is a great song, it's by English band Keane.
It was in my head all day yesterday (I reckon I heard it while watching One Tree Hill recently) and took me a while to work out what song it was.
I'm planning to buy the album ASAP.

Here's an explanation from the band as to what the song is about:
``Everybody's Changing is a song about something I think a lot of people will experience, which is when people's lives start going different ways and you're sitting there, thinking my friends are doing this, what I am I doing? What do I do with my life? I think things like that are quite common to people and are probably more important than a lot of things that people write songs about. I mean, we haven't written any songs about politics. I think things like your friends, communication and love affect peoples lives more on a daily basis than who's in charge of the budget.''

Have a listen, it's an awesome track.

Discoveries

In the coming week I will probably find out why I haven't been myself in the last week or so.
There will likely be good news or not so good news as I have been booked in for a procedure that you can read about by clicking the link if you want to.
Despite not really wanting to do it, I know it is the best way to work out what is going on and treat it appropriately if required.
I don't really feel comfortable discussing the ins and outs of it here, most of you who read this blog would know what I'm talking about and if you want to know more feel free to email or call.
Regardless, by Wednesday night I am going to be in a much better position as to where I stand and where I head.
I will be praying for good news and I hope you will too.

The unexplained

It's been a rough week so far.
The thing is I can't put my finger on why, exactly what has caused me to feel so off this week.
To say I have experienced a bit of a rollercoaster would be fairly accurate. I think (and hope) I am coming out of it a bit now.
Monday and Tuesday were particularly tough, I just didn't feel like being at work or doing anything really but I somehow managed to be reasonably productive.
Hopefully tomorrow will be better again.
The good thing is that with all this cooler weather sleeping has been a lot easier than it would normally be in the middle of summer.
I don't think the problem is physical, though it has physical manifestations.
The problem is that I tend to worry too much, my mum says I have always been like that and while it's not really clear to me she'd be right as I have only noticed it in recent times.

Understand...I do not

Trying to bring myself up from what seems to have been a mid-level panic episode this morning.
There's no reason for it, that I can understand anyway, aside from feeling reasonably tired (largely due to waking up about 10 times in the early hours of Saturday morning) after a hectic period lately.
It's clear I don't react to this situation at all well. That could well be the understatement of this blog to date.
I have started trying out some meditation and am hopeful that will be beneficial.
The good thing is that I don't feel ill at all, just a bit edgy. I've had a massage today and that was excellent (recently they've been a bit ordinary at the place I go to) and am planning perhaps a relaxing bath or at least a longish shower this evening.
Now that's something to look forward to.

Forgiveness (The Runaway Found)

It's all about forgiveness.
Something we all can take heed of, that people are worthy of being forgiven because it is not up to us to condemn. That is for God to decide.
Yep I got that from The Runaway Found, episode 18 of One Tree Hill S4 (Thanks for pic), ain't it amazing what you can be reminded of out of a little television show.
I am guilty of letting hurts or anger get in the way of clearing the air when in dispute with someone, when a simple apology or discussion would solve the issue. Doesn't it suck how stubborn we (especially guys) are.
So while viewing this pivotal episode where Peyton offers forgiveness to the man who stalked and tried to harm her (as pictured) the message of letting go of anger or whatever you are holding onto and offering forgiveness is vital as it is the first step towards healing.
We are all human. We all make mistakes. We all let pride get in the way. We are all weak.
What makes us strong is knowing that there is forgiveness out there if you want to accept it.
Only three episodes of S4 to go until I get stuck into the new ones, set four years later.
Can't wait.

Australia Day

It's that day of the year where we remember how fortunate we are to be Australian. And by remember I mean celebrate, because that's what Aussies do pretty well.
So today there will be the obligatory fireworks display (getting a bit over them) and packed beaches. Fortunately it is a nice, warm day.

Congrats to Lee Kernaghan for being named Australian Of The Year. At least it wasn't a cricketer this year.

The best crap movie ever...maybe

And the award goes to.....Shoot 'Em Up.
Yes it's a straight to DVD action comedy (has to be rated a comedy) starring Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti. You read it right, two of the better actors of our present time. How they ended up in this film I don't know, hopefully they wanted to poke fun at the genre.
The acting is terrible, the script is terrible and unclear at times but the action. The action makes the acting and the script unimportant.
It's so over the top and ridiculous this film is one of the funniest I've seen in a while, right up there with Blades Of Glory and Good Luck Chuck which were actually meant to be comedies.
The good thing is that with the title, you know what you're in for.
Great exchange from Owen and Giamatti where Owen, holding a carrot I think, says `What's up doc?' and Giamatti replies `why you are a wascaly wabbit aren't you'. Crap, but gold.

A single cloud hanging

As far as permanency goes, I am for all purposes churchless at the moment.
I like it.
I am enjoying the freedom that comes from having no fixed abode. I have been going to church from time to time. Again I enjoy seeing what else is out there.
This is not to say that what had before wasn't significant. Six years is a long time but it was becoming clear, quite a while ago, that it was long enough.
I'm not going devote any time now to deep explanation as to why I have made the decision to move on. It wasn't quite `simply time' but that will do for now.
One problem I do have is that I am a loyal person so that makes it difficult to part ways with something that has been a large part of life. I have to say that I grew immensely, spiritually, from the six years.
Funnily enough my first experience there came on the September 11. Talk about red letter days, so it makes it easy to remember the first night.
However, my time there also coincided with some of the most difficult times in my life so far, not just the obvious one. Such is my nature, throughout the last six months or so I have done a few experiments to help me make this decision. Since every one of them failed it was a pretty easy call.
I have only one regret that is clear in my mind from the whole period and it relates to something that happened about a year ago that taught me a valuable lesson and cost me potentially a very good friendship. Well almost, as I haven't given up on it.
Church is a very important part of life, particularly for a Christian, but what is also important is the right one. Consider that the single cloud hanging over me at the moment.
That search has been going for a short time, and over the past six months or s I have been fortunate to meet and get to know some great people as a result, but it hasn't been serious yet, I haven't felt ready to try one out properly. That will come as the burnout wears off.

Juno

Juno MacGuff (Ellen Page) is not your average 16-year-old.

Not only does she have an odd name (after Zeus' wife so we are told but it is apparently Jupiter's wife) she has odd friends, odd parents, lives in an odd town and has a very odd best friend in Paul Bleeker (Michael Cera).

After a period of boredom Juno amuses herself and Michael comes along for the ride - the result is a somewhat surprising (to Juno) pregnancy.

She decides she doesn't want a baby at 16 and decides to terminate but can't go through with it.

Then she comes across a couple desperate to adopt, Mark and Vanessa (played by Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner), and decides to give them the baby when it is born.

Things aren't all they seem with the happy couple. But it's not what you think. And it's not what you're thinking now I've said that either.

That's your basic rundown.

Offbeat goes a long way to describe this film. It's very easy to watch, quite amusing and even a shade touching.

Juno is not for everyone but it is very enjoyable. While it won't feature in the top five for the year it gets a very odd 7.5 out of 10. I enjoyed it and that's all you can ask in most films.

Ellen Page is very good in the lead role and Michael Cera is at his awkward best. I do fear that he is in very grave danger of being typecast, much like say Jason Biggs, because he is the same awkward teen here as he was in Arrested Development.

Pictures of You

A thought provoking episode of One Tree viewed last night (picture is of Brooke (Sophia Bush) and the interesting new character Chase (Stephen Colletti)focusing on how you see yourself and how others see you.
Characters were paid off with a list of activities for their assignment before they take their `picture of you':
1. Share something personal with your partner.
2. Lighten up. Do an impression of a celebrity or a famous character.
3. Admit something that worries you, or something you are afraid of.
4. What do you want to be in ten years?
5. Tell your partner something secret.

So I thought I'd try that here.
1. I have a lot of trouble believing in myself, in my ability to achieve things.
2. I do a good Bill Lawry, a good Chandler Bing, bit hard to do that one in this space.
3. I worry/am afraid that there is nothing I can do to prevent a relapse and focus far too much on it. My mum says I've always been inclined to worry too much.
4. I'd love to think in 10 years I am married and have a child. You never know.
5. The thought of going to church at the moment is unpleasant.

Hmmm. Anyway One Tree is trucking along nicely, can't wait to get to the end of season 4 to get stuck into the next one. That's if the other guys don't hold things up too long!

Self fulfilling prophecies

I was just doing a bit of fishing around my room, checking what I had in storage (if you can call it that) and came across my old journals from university.
It't not that I didn't know they were there, just it's been a while since I looked through some things from that era.
Anyway, I noticed something I wrote dated October 4, 1995, that really struck me.
``In the end, the only thing I have to fall back on when all else fails is my work and I have to devote as much time to that as possible.''
Hmmm. Any wonder I am like I am now? I've always been that way, even before I had a job.
Speaking of jobs, a few weeks later (dated October 28, 1995) I wrote the following, so it isn't all bad.
``Hopefully, I'd like to be a racing journalist because I relly enoy the races and have been enjoying them for 10 years.''
So, some dreams do come true.
Here's one for those who like a laugh, from November 6, 1995.
``I have a reputation around here as being a TV addict....'', some things never change. I recall packing about half a dozen people into my dorm room (which wasn't really big enough for 6 people) to watch the first ever episode of Friends. I was the only one who laughed.
I hope you enjoyed this blast from the past.

I Am Legend

What would we do without Will Smith to save the world yet again?
This time, though, the result is not satisfying in I Am Legend.
The scene of New York deserted and decaying is unsettling, the animals that now roam the streets that have been overgrown with bushland prey on each other and the one man left trys to prey on them.
This is all well and good until we find out the creatures that come out at night are the remaining people who weren't killed off by the virus that took 90 per cent of the world's population.
Smith is one of the 1 per cent who were mysteriously immune and being hunted by the other nine per cent who mutated, for want of a better word, as a result of the virus.
Robert Neville (Smith) is desperately trying to cure the virus but he's also losing hope as a result of being the only person around. He even tries using mannequins as `friends' in a few slightly amusing yet saddening scenes.
The problem with I Am Legend, which is yet another Hollywood remake, is that it's a pretty ordinary film. There is little to no suspense, I didn't find it scary (not sure whether it was supposed to be scary either) and you weren't given enough insight into Smith's character. What we do know was told in flashbacks (which is getting very tired) and they spent very little time going into Neville's unravelling after his companion dog Sam succumbs to the virus.
Technically the film is quite good but it lacks substance. Maybe I had higher expectations than I should have but I can only go as high as a 5 out of 10. Pretty disappointing and makes Independence Day look like a masterpiece.