Bring me to life

Things sure have changed here on Walton's mountain.
Yeah, all right, I'll get serious.
It's amazing how the mind works. I've spent a lot of time over the last three years either in denial, desperation, despair or disillusionment, you get the point.
One small piece of information held so much power. Once the fear that knowledge nurtured disappeared everything became different. Almost overnight.
Instead of learning how to live in a negative way, placing limitations on myself, suddenly the door to the world has been flung open and I can step outside.
Chronic conditions are by nature difficult to deal with and you can easily reach the `what's the point' stage. Perseverence is hard. Giving in seems easy but once you've done that there's no turning back.
I am glad I persevered. I am fortunate I had some amazing, unconditional support, someone I could fall apart in front of if I needed to. I don't ever take that for granted. I am fortunate I have a faith which provides hope.
Learning how to live in a positive way after feeling so much negative emotion should be a walk in the park, right? I thought so but in a lot of ways the habits I have developed in the past few years are still there, and it is hard to get out of them. I guess I never was the type just to throw caution to the wind.
So much has changed in the last month. I feel different, less fearful, less worried. It's a great feeling. I won't go as far as to say reborn, certainly rejuvenated. It's easier to smile.
One little piece of information. It's all gone, there's no trace, no sign. Unbelievable, almost.
Time to move on, learn to live fully, experience, flourish, knowing I can handle it.