Back to the future

On the way back from the city this afternoon I drove past my old church, well the site of it anyway, for the first time in, gee, maybe a year.
The building is under construction at present. You know I felt hesitant doing something so harmless as a drive-by. It's just an example of what a friend was telling me earlier this week about looking forward rather than back. I hope the church there thrives when it is re-opened and continues to do good things in the area but I can't go there.
That's my issue and I need to put it in the past and not let it affect my future, which when it comes to churches has stalled.
It seems I have a lot to learn though. While things are better than they were earlier in the week I have found myself reverting to old negative thinking patterns. Not only is that not good in general it is disappointing that it was so easy to fall back into.
Clearly it was the wrong time to try reducing the medication, it came at a very busy time that was affected by the hot weather and lack of enough sleep and a come down from an awesome period just gone. So I shouldn't be hard on myself there.
Next time I will try a more stable time to try it. There's a bigger issue inside all of this, and one that according to a good friend with some experience I must contend with.