The spare wheel

So it is 10 days until Christmas and I have managed to avoid that fact for the most part of the month despite the tree going up at work a day after the Melbourne Cup.
I don't know what happened with me and Christmas.
As a kid you always love the anticipation of the presents and the magic of the time and as you get older it takes on a different meaning. You start to realise that, aside from the important celebration of the birth of Jesus, Christmas is about joy and family (whatever your definition of family is).
In the past decade I have had little of either of those things at this time of year. I've never disliked Christmas but I have always felt a bit on the outer. Work kept me from travelling home many times and a couple of times health got in the way. So after being ditched by my uncle I started having Christmas with my housemate's family. I always felt like the spare wheel.
Likely it is something in me stopping me from getting into the spirit. I've never liked being the one who is invited somewhere `because you have nowhere to go at Christmas'. I always appreciated the offer but felt awkward.
So over time I kind of ignored Christmas and treated it like any other day. I'm going to try not to ignore it this year, I feel I need to drag myself out of that way of thinking. Instead of enjoying spending time with people I do care about I have at times ended up feeling sorry for myself - why am I alone at Christmas, why is there no family, no wife or girlfriend etc etc.
That I think is a whole different story.
So I am giving it a go because I truly love Christmas and everything (non commercial) that it represents. I've even hired It's A Wonderful Life to watch this week.

Tonight I watched The Bucket List, finally, and am happy to report that it is enjoyable and thought provoking. Jack plays Jack and Morgan plays Morgan pretty much but neither are bad things but it does leave an impression.