The Perks of Being A Wallflower

This is one of those films where, if you haven't read the book, it's probably best not to know too much. I'd seen the trailer a couple of times and though it looked interesting and, boy, was I in for something unexpected.
Without going overboard, without a doubt The Perks of Being A Wallflower is the movie of the year.
The basic plot sees a very reserved Charlie (Logan Lerman) about start freshman year of high school. He's been through a lot, most notably the death of his favourite aunt when he was younger and the suicide of his best friend.
He's determined to make friends this year but gets off to a slow start when he tells his Literature teacher (Paul Rudd) that if ''my English teacher is the only friend I make today it will be a truly depressing day'' (words to that effect, anyway).
He soon strikes up a friendship with Patrick (Ezra Miller) and Sam (Emma Watson), two seniors who quickly embrace the shy Charlie and introduce him to their world.
I won't go any further that that. It might sound plain but it there is certainly a lot more to the story than the early synopsis.
Firstly, the performance of Lerman has the 'wallflower' Charlie is almost Oscar nomination worthy I think. I hadn't heard of him before but he has to carry the movie and he does it with ease and charm. You can't help but love Charlie, he's sincere and unassuming (certainly to start), but you also have to be aware that with what he's been through comes quite a bit of baggage and watching him deal with it is both heartbreaking and uplifting.
Emma Watson, best known as Hermione from the Harry Potter films, surprised me a little. For an actress who will always be known for the HP films she's taken a bit of a risk with playing Sam and she's outstanding as well.
The third of the trio is Patrick, an openly gay teen who really takes Charlie under his wing after they meet while watching a football game. Patrick enthusiastically supports the football for reasons which become apparent a bit later on.
Why is Perks a great film?
I was absolutely entranced. I couldn't look away from the film, it may have been a little slow in parts but I didn't notice with Charlie's narration and the revealing of what he's been, and is going, through. It's funny, moving, a little sad, shocking and uplifting and I'll admit to welling up a little at the end.
As I thought about it afterwards I couldn't fault it. It held me for the entire 100 minutes or so and I went along for the ride wholeheartedly.
Definitely the best movie of 2012 for me and I gave it an unprecedented 10/10. Others may disagree but it's brilliant and I'd encourage you to see it for yourself - but I advise to watch the trailer, and if you think it might be for you then go for it. Now, I want to read the book!

Braces

I'm finally doing it. Some six or so years after first investigating it, and there were pretty decent circumstances as to why I didn't pursue it then, I'll be getting braces in a bit over a week.
It is necessary as well as desirable.
My teeth are something that I've never been happy with and I didn't have any trouble making the decision to go ahead when my dentist recommended I look into it again.
While I don't expect to come out of it with movie star perfect teeth the end result will be a big improvement on what I have currently.
It's not cheap but fortunately you don't have to pay it all upfront so that makes it much more affordable.
And while it isn't cheap it is definitely worth it. It's going to be interesting having them on and dealing with food and things, might feel like a teenager for a while!

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

So it has finally come to an end - I'm going to assume if you're reading this you are somewhat interested in Twilight and have seen the movies or read the books.
In order to cash in on the fact there are only four books, Breaking Dawn was split in two - a la Harry Potter - and we have Breaking Dawn Part 2 .
The big flaw in the second half is the start....it's almost as though they filmed the whole thing at once then split it in two. There is very little joining of the two films, even a 'previously' bit might have helped.
We pick up the story as Bella (Kristen Stewart) wakes as a newborn vampire much to Edward's (Robert Pattinson) delight.
They have a daughter (I always hated Renesmee as a name) who Jacob (Taylor Lautner) has imprinted upon and is therefore obsessed with, somewhat creepily.
The first 20 minutes or so is spent with Bella revelling in her newfound strength, agility and poise and we watch her child grow quickly into a 10-ish year-old probably.
It is then that Irina (Maggie Grace) sees her and wrongly believes she is an immortal child and reports this to the Volturi who set out to destroy it, setting up a confrontation with the Cullens.
After you get through the slow patch at the start, which could have been helped so much by developing Bella's newborn character - she was very well restrained when you consider how newborns have been described through the series, there are some pretty funny and well done scenes, though nothing will top the baseball scene in the first movie.
When Jacob decides to show Charlie (Billy Burke) that he is a werewolf it's hilarious, and also the obligatory scene where he gets his shirt off.
The 'friends' of the Cullens that assemble to witness to the Volturi are very well imagined from what they were described as in the book.
There's a 'twist' that is talked about that deviates from the book but I'm not sure that it is such a big twist, more an extrapolation of what might have happened had it been written about in the book...you'll know when you see it/if you have seen it.
Overall I've enjoyed the Twilight series.
It's not high art or intellectual fiction but it is enjoyable, if a little on the soppy side.
I still don't think the casting was right in places (particularly Edward) but that's just my opinion. There is a nice touch at the end of Breaking Dawn Part 2 where they go through the entire cast from the five films, as well as use the book as way of ending the story.
Considering they did it fairly rushed when Twilight became a hit I think the series was well done - it is just a shame it had to be rushed because there are things in all five movies that could have been done so much better.
As far as this film goes, a 7.5 out of 10, and that'd be about true for the series as a whole.

Vices

We've all got them, those things that we know aren't good for us but we just can't help but fall under their spell.
At the moment I'm trying to offload one of my vices while at the same time trying to not let one I'm particularly enjoying be more than a little fun.
The vice I'm looking to lose is a bit of an unhelpful gambling habit that occasionally gets out of control. It's the type of gambling that you know you're not supposed to win at but for some reason it seems to be appealing.
I think you know the type I'm referring to.
Sometimes I wonder what part of the brain is overriding the common sense part that tells you that even if you do happen to have a win in the big picture you will lose.
I'd like to think I can overcome that. The feeling you get when you've lost is not pleasant, you feel like chasing the loss and you end up losing a lot more than you can, or should, afford. It's a different experience with the horses. There is less element of chance involved and I'd like to think my knowledge is better than the average person's.
So I am making an effort to overcome this vice.
The other one is at times a lot of fun and at other times I'm disappointed in myself. At the moment though I think the fun outweighs the disappointment so I'm happy to play a bit while it is fun.

Arbitrage

It's refreshing to see a character and story driven film for a change.
While not quite up to the excellent Margin Call from earlier in the year, Arbitrage is a very well put together drama vehicle for Richard Gere.
He plays Robert Miller, a financial whiz whose company is secretly losing value as it is crippled by debt and bad investment.
But that's underneath his perfect family man exterior.
When we meet Miller he's arriving late to his own birthday dinner at which he proclaims how wonderful his family is and how important they are.
Of course he rushes off to meet up with his mistress Julie (Laetitia Casta), a struggling French artist, and plans to run away with her.
Miller's seemingly perfect life begins to unravel when a tragic incident threatens to expose his secret life.
Gere is the centre of this film and he carries the responsibility like the seasoned pro he is. His character is not unlike the businessman we met in Pretty Woman all those years ago, though Miller is a lot more deceitful.
In an attempt to avoid being exposed Miller steps over anyone and everyone he purports to care about - his wife Ellen (Susan Sarandon), daughter and business associate Brooke (Brit Marling), Julie of course and a young man,  Jimmy (Nate Parker), who helps him out of respect for his father's association with Miller.
Then there is the NY policeman (Tim Roth) who thinks he can bring the rich high flyer down.
I could go deeper into the plot but that would spoil it, it's better not knowing what is coming. That said, there aren't any major twists.
As mentioned, it's great to watch something that doesn't rely on CGI, or vulgar humour, or comic book popularity and see a real story for a change.
Quite often the best movies are the ones that aren't hyped and that rely on the cast and the script to deliver the goods to the audience.
Arbitrage is one film that does deliver. I enjoyed it as well as being a little disturbed by the outcome. A 7.5 out of 10.

The Watch

The Watch is a great example of how previews can mislead you. I expected to be in for a rollicking good time but actually was given some laughs and the feeling that I had been cheated.
Just because you throw together a bunch of old action stars and come up with a hilarious send up of their genre (Expendables) doesn't mean you can put a few funny people in the same film and make it work.
Evan (Ben Stiller) runs the local Costco, the running club, the Spanish table and a host of other community events but when a beloved employee is murdered he decides to take it upon himself to find the killer and sets up Neighbourhood Watch as the police are rather insipid.
An eclectic group of interested parties turn up to the first meeting - Bob (Vince Vaughn) is a man's man looking for a bunch of guys to hang out with, Franklin (Jonah Hill) is a rather manic wannabe cop who likes the idea of a vigilante group and Jamarcus (Richard Ayoade) who is a British recent arrival in town who seeks illicit encounters with local Asian women.
It soon becomes apparent that the murder was done by an alien and we're thrown into another alien invasion plotline.
Some of it works but most of it doesn't. Stiller is Stiller, control freak not unlike his Meet The Parents character; Vaughn is his usual chatty, over the top self, Hill isn't bad and seems to enjoy playing a loose cannon. I was most disappointed by Ayoade, who I love in the IT Crowd. I just couldn't buy 'Moss' saying a lot of the things he said in this film and his comic timing went criminally unused.
I don't really need to go any further.
If you must see this then lower your expectations, it does have some pretty good moments but overall it really shouldn't be classed as a comedy because it's not really that funny. A 5 out of 10.

A is for....

Let me give you a bit of free advice.
If you're ever diagnosed with anxiety take it very seriously and learn how to manage it.
The past few days have been hellish, I've felt anxiety physically and it's not pleasant to deal with. It has a habit of creating a vicious circle which is tougher to get out of than you think.
I have a fair idea of what has been contributing to the bouts of anxiety and hopefully it can settle down. At the same time I need to manage it better as I thought, I guess, it wasn't an issue any more because I hadn't really felt it for quite some time.
Funny thing, I was watching a show on TV the other day and it had quite a prophetic line in it and one that we should all keep in mind, regardless of whether anxiety is an issue for you.
''If you're going through hell....keep going''.

Stagnation

Something really needs to change.
I've probably said this a number of times of late but never have I felt it so strongly.
I took a small step today by starting my gym program, and I definitely underestimated how hard it would be. Sure, I didn't think it would be easy - and anything that brings about physical change isn't going to be - but it still took me by surprise. Have to say it was very good, though.
I felt similarly to the time I went to a pilates class with a friend and pretty much thought I was going to die for about 15 minutes. It probably wasn't quite that bad - I didn't feel physically sick but I did know I had had a workout.
The plan is to go back on Thursday as other commitments will prevent me from going again tomorrow (and given how the body feels it is probably a good thing that I have a few days rest).
If I can lose between 3 and 5kg by the start of summer it will be a good achievement. And it will give me confidence that I'm doing things right outside the gym as well.
So that's a great step forward, albeit a relatively small one.
But still I feel that some areas of life need to be different. Part of it is in attitude, outlook and purpose.
I don't really know what I want, long term.
Hopefully I can begin to address this problem in the next few weeks, I'm in the process of doing some organisation in that area.
I do know that standing still is no way to move forward.
In some ways I probably don't have the guts to make the change that needs to be made. Certainly not yet, though it has been on my mind for quite some time.
I guess I hoped it would happen naturally. Alas, it hasn't.
That will be reassessed in the near future, it has to be, because I suspect that it is the area that is causing this stagnation.

Hope Springs

Let's face it, it's hard not to like anything that the wonderful Meryl Streep does these days.
In yet another example of how the trailer doesn't do the movie justice, Hope Springs sees Streep team up with Tommy Lee Jones for a drama about a couple whose marriage is dying. The trailer will have you believe it is a whimsical comedy (does have some funny moments, though).
Streep is Kay, a housewife stuck in Groundhog Day-style life with her husband Arnold (Jones) and she isn't happy. They hardly speak, the sleep in different rooms and they haven't been intimate for years.
She decides to try an intensive couples therapy, dragging a resisting Arnold to Hope Springs to meet with Dr Feld (Steve Carrell) in an effort to save their marriage.
Arnold thinks there's nothing to save, he doesn't see any problems and is rather grumpy and dismissive of the process. This is much to Kay's disappointment.
As Feld digs deeper into their relationship, or lack thereof lately, we find out what attracted them to each other when they were younger and how their marriage just started to fade at a time when it was supposed to be at its most fun.
I must admit there are some uncomfortable scenes here, but that depends on how you feel about people in their 60s attempting to have sex and performing acts of foreplay.
It's done fairly tastefully though, and quite tongue in cheek mostly.
Naturally, this is another vehicle for Streep. It's directed by David Frankel (The Devil Wears Prada) and Streep is engaging and touching as a woman desperate to restore the love and passion to her marriage. Tommy Lee Jones is his usual gruff self but you can also see through Arnold's eyes here - and there's a great metaphor about a client of his who he's had the same conversation with for 17 years. When you see it you'll know why it's poignant.
Hope Springs is a little misleading in a way, you think you're in for something fairly light-hearted - and there are funny moments - but it's actually quite sad and stark in the way it depicts a marriage that is dying. Does it get saved? Well, you'll have to see to find out.
Not exactly what I was expecting but Meryl is fantastic, Steve Carrell isn't bad either as the therapist for that matter. A 7 out of 10.

The Expendables 2

It's action hero overload again with The Expendables 2 taking absurd action to new levels and the audience along for one heck of a fun ride.
If you've ever seen the film Shoot Em Up (if you haven't it's worth a watch) then you know what you're in for. This sequel is a worthy addition to the 'so bad it's freakin awesome' category of film.
There's not a lot in the way of plot but the story is essentially that Church (Bruce Willis) feels he is owed a favour by Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) for events of the first movie and calls upon him and his comrades to extract something from a safe in a fallen plane in the old Soviet Union.
When one of his own is killed retrieving the package, which is taken by the terribly named Jean Villain (Jean Claude Van Damme), Ross vows revenge and sets out after the bad guy.
The great thing about these Expendables movies is that it brings together all the great 80s/early 90s action stars that you would have never got in the same film 20 years ago: the likes of Stallone, Willis, Schwarzenegger, Statham, Norris, Li, Van Damme, Lundgren etc.
It'd be interesting to know what the body count was in the movie, I reckon it'd be close to a record!
One of the stand out performers though, was the youngest cast member Liam Hemsworth who plays Billy 'The Kid'. He looks like more of an 'actor' than his brother (Chris, aka Thor) rather than an action star and time, I guess, will tell.
On the score of pure entertainment, you've got say this is a four-star film.
The fight scene between Stallone and Van Damme is pretty funny and the latter's accent is hilarious as well.
But we'll bring it down a notch because it is just so ridiculous, over the top, and funny (with some wickedly funny one-liners) and go with a 7 out of 10.
Let's hope if they do a third film they can continue along the same lines, because the sequel is one of those rare times when it's actually better than the original.

Total Recall

It's a good thing I'm not a passionate fan of the original Total Recall or I'd be much more critical of the 2012 version.
While I don't really know why it was necessary to re-imagine (this is the term Hollywood uses these days) this one it isn't all bad. In fact, it does have some good points.
It's certainly not as out there as the Arnie version from 1990 and it isn't set on Mars (though that does get a mention) but somewhere a lot closer to home, for me anyway.
The world director Len Wiseman has imagined is one of the fine points of the movie. It's 2099 and the world has virtually destroyed itself to the point that only the United British Federation and The Colony (which is essentially Australia - surely a little in-joke on British colonisation in the 1700s) remain.
There's a rather cool, but completely implausible, method of travel between the two populous areas - a fast train through the centre of the Earth called 'The Fall', another great innovation.
Anyway, Colin Farrell takes on the 'Arnie' role. He's Doug Quaid, a lowly factory worker who is bored with his life - despite being married to the wonderful Lori (Kate Beckinsale) - and seeks out a business called Rekall which promises to implant fantastic memories in place of actually having the experience.
Everything goes awry when Quaid wants to have a secret agent memory implanted - and, well, you're left to work out whether he actually is a spy.
It turns out Quaid isn't married and is actually Carl Hauser, a super spy working as a double agent though we're not really sure if it is for the Resistance, led by Mattihas (Bill Nighy), or for Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston) who wants to wipe out The Colony. Getting in the way of him working out whose side he is on is Melina (Jessica Biel), Hauser's girlfriend who could pass as a young Beckinsale.
At the end I basically felt like it was an inferior remake, it felt too safe even though they had the obligatory appearance of the girl with the three boobs. Although the experiences wasn't quite as severe as my deja vu during the Amazing Spider-Man.
Having said that I really enjoyed Beckinsale's performance, though I might be a little biased as a bit of a fan. She was almost Terminator-like and clearly revelled in the role.
I'm glad I didn't watch the original prior to seeing this version, as mentioned I reckon I'd be cutting it to pieces right about now. It has its moments but I can only go to a 6 out of 10.
Surely people have some original ideas out there so we don't have to sit through unnecessary sequels and remakes!

Emotional time travel

I really dislike anxiety.
It's something I thought, at least in the back of my mind, that I was starting to get control of. Then something else comes up and I feel like I'm right back where I started all those years ago.
I don't know for sure that the anxiety is over nothing, at the moment it feels pretty real and it doesn't seem to matter that on an intellectual level I understand that what I fear probably won't come about.
That's the nature of anxiety, right? Fearing something bad is going to happen despite the fact you have reviewed the situation over and over and believe it will be all right.
It's what I think but the fear of the situation is almost overwhelming, worse than what I experienced when anxiety jumped its way onto my back and started weighing me down.
Yes, I am afraid. I think I will be fine but I can't know for sure straight away.
It's the waiting around that is the worst....there's nothing I can do about the situation now, I just have to wait and see. I try not to worry about it, sometimes I get distracted and that's great, but then it all comes flooding back.
I know that worrying and getting worked up about it doesn't help one bit, can't change any outcomes and just makes me feel bad. It makes me fixate even more. It's that whole vicious circle thing. It's almost like I've gone back in time.
There are a couple of milestones to pass but they seem to be so far away.
Why isn't acknowledging that anxiety is causing me trouble enough to make it go away? I do know the answer to that, incidentally.
I guess it is back to the drawing board, back to the books, back to the relaxation, get better at exercising regularly. Find something else to focus on.
It all sounds so easy in theory.

Going bush

The city can get to you from time to time.
Maybe it's the fact that there are people everywhere, maybe it's the constant feeling of being in a hurry or the fact it takes so long to get anywhere.
I never used to enjoy where I grew up, a decent sized city but a minor suburb compared to the biggest city in Australia. You learn to appreciate the simple things though.
So a few days away from the rat-race and in the fresh country air will be appreciated.
So, as they say - road trip!

Wake up call

Sometimes when you're supposed to learn something the lesson is subtle, other times it's a lot more obvious.
At the moment I'm not sure which category this falls into but there has definitely been a wake up call over the past few days and now I know I have to change.
I always take my health seriously though at times I am guilty of oversights and lack of really thinking things through. No more.
Aside from my desire to improve as far as overall fitness goes - which I will be starting on shortly once my gym program starts (yes, I did get that done) - I've been pretty poor at keeping an eye on myself.
We all take risks from time to time, calculated ones mostly. I didn't knowingly take a risk but ultimately I am still responsible.
Yes, I've had a bit of a scare and it's not going to be clear for a while whether anything bad will come of it. My feeling is that everything is going to be fine but until you know for sure then it is hard to be completely certain. There's always a little doubt.
While I have to sit it out for a period it is time for an attitude change. A time to discover what it is I really want and how best to achieve it.
Hopefully it's just a subtle lesson.

The Campaign

I'm not really a fan of Will Ferrell and I find Zach Galifianakis funny most of the time so The Campaign  was really a 50/50 call for me.
Cam Brady (Ferrell) is the incumbent congressman for the 14th District and is facing a landslide win in the polls as he's running unopposed.
However, he's also taking advantage of his position but breaking just about every law of decency and gets caught out when he drunkenly, and mistakenly, calls a Christian couples home to leave a crude message to his mistress.
It's then that corrupt tycoons Glenn and Wade Motch (John Lithgow and Dan Ackroyd) decide they can oust Brady and put in a puppet who they can use to turn the North Carolina district into a sweatshop for cheap Chinese labour and make a fortune.
They decide on the unassuming, and a little odd, Marty Huggins (Galifianakis) to contest the seat and thus the campaign begins - and nothing is off limits.
Huggins is your classic simpleton - he's not necessarily dumb but he is certainly naive and a believer in the good in people. So the Motch brothers send in a campaign manager, Tim Wattley (Dylan McDermott), to turn Huggins into a contender.
Overall I have to say I didn't mind the movie. The big problem I have though is that it wasn't funny, particularly, but it was still pretty good. Sure, there were a few laugh out loud scenes - one involving the confessions of the Huggins family - but I'd have to say I certainly wasn't in stitches.
Ferrell is actually pretty good in his role as was his sparring partner but for some reason they couldn't produce the laughs I was expecting.
That makes it a little hard to judge. As a comedy it pretty much fails because, simply, I didn't find it funny. But then again it was still good enough to hold my interest. I sense a missed opportunity here.
It seems the idea was good and even the casting was good but perhaps they couldn't decide on whether they were making a satire or a comedy or something in between.
Make of that what you will....it's not bad but just not funny. 6 out of 10.

A story in 10 sentences

Ryan turned, head down and breathed.

Tim followed, stopping him with a firm hand on his shoulder.

''You're not wrong,'' he said. ''It's complicated.''

A deep breath later Ryan faced Tim.

''We'll get through this together,'' he said.

They shook hands, embraced and entered the room.

It was quiet, empty, damp.

Ryan felt nervous but strong.

They sat, well aware of the people staring.

''So what if they're staring?'' he said.

Out of focus

It's really time that I got a bit of direction.
Sure, I've been coasting along reasonably well (considering a few things) and could quite easily continue that way. But I think I'll look back in five years or so and wish I'd handled things differently.
I certainly feel that way about myself five years ago at the moment.
Knowing what I know now, I really do regret not taking a few more risks then and not challenging myself at a time when I didn't think I had the strength to cope with them.
Now that I know I have the strength to handle more than I thought I have to take that confidence and ensure that I'm not the same person come 2017. You know what I mean.
In some ways I hope I am the same person but I need to be enhanced. Sure, physically I need some improvement and I must set a proper goal with my exercise program (or lack thereof the past few weeks).
What I'd really like by Christmas (since that's is a widely accepted end-time goal), or summer at least, is to have lost 5kg and be undertaking a proper exercise regime.
I have a distinct lack of focus these days. I've been distracted by certain things, things I have and am enjoying, and I think I've lost a bit of sight of what is actually a healthy lifestyle (by this I don't mean the exercise stuff, more what is considered emotionally healthy) and how to incorporate a number of aspects of life without affecting work and social aspects.
It's very important that I don't just note this down and then go away and ignore it.
This week I plan to stop into my gym (which is at work conveniently) and arrange to have a program worked out for me to start when I get back from holidays. In the couple of weeks of that break from work I need to ensure I'm exercising a bit and watching what I eat more.
I can't stress how important it is that I am able to lose the 5kg. It would actually be a pretty big psychological win because weight loss has long been something I have feared. That might sound like a silly statement but there is a very good reason for it.

Magic Mike

It may not look like it on the surface but there is actually a pretty good movie in Magic Mike. The problem is that it isn't quite realised.
Not surprisingly the movie has been marketed with the soft porn angle of the male revue it centres on but, a little like Coyote Ugly about a decade ago, there's actually a story behind the gratuity.
Mike (Channing Tatum) is the headline act, known as Magic Mike, of the revue but it isn't his life. He's attempting to start his own business building furniture but is having trouble getting the financing.
At one of his jobs he meets Adam (Alex Pettyfer), a 19-year-old whose life has no real direction and he doesn't seem to have the drive to give it one. Mike eventually takes Adam under his wing and introduces him to the world of stripping for women's entertainment, run by ageing stripper Dallas (Matthew McConaughey).
And Adam, known as The Kid, is a big hit.
The problems begin to stack up as Adam's sister Brooke (Cody Horn) is less than approving of his new lifestyle despite the money that it brings in. Adam clearly struggles to handle the new world of money, readily available sex and popularity.
As I mentioned at the start there is actually a decent film in here but director Steven Soderbergh doesn't seem to be able to make up his mind. We see the glittering lights and highs of the world that Adam is brought into, for a good looking young guy it's heaven.
He also gives us glimpses of the downside but doesn't take us all the way - Mike realises at 30 his days are numbered and he clearly doesn't want to be the next Dallas, there's the sex and drugs side that isn't quite as effective as it could have been.
There's also the very obvious sexual tension between Mike and Brooke that is taken a step too far for the movie to be believable, which is a shame because as a viewer I was able to put two and two together and didn't need to be told.
It's possibly a shade too long, not quite as tightly edited as it could have been and I would have loved to have seen Adam challenged a bit more by Mike towards the end. It's almost like he sees a younger version of himself but feels powerless to stop him from heading in the same direction.
Overall Magic Mike will go down as a film that had potential to be a Boogie Nights-style movie but they opted for the more commercial stripper angle. Financially it may prove to be the right move but as a viewer it sold a good story short. A 6 out of 10.

Stuck

Sheldon: I feel somewhat like an inverse tangent function that’s approaching an asymptote.
Kripke: Are you saying you’re stuck?

The above quote from The Big Bang Theory was in my mind as I was thinking about this post. At the moment I feel kinda stuck.
I'm not particularly happy with some areas of life and while I'm not powerless to change some things it seems I am lacking in the willpower, or 'get up and go' required.
The first is some frustration in having actually gained weight since I started going to the gym late last year. I had hoped to lose 3-4kg instead I've put that on and a little bit more. Some of it admittedly can be contributed to increase is muscle tone (not that you can tell for the most part).
Part of the trouble is that I seem to keep injuring myself in the gym - straining my back is pretty common - and what I think needs to be done is to have a proper program organised so that I'm not overdoing it rather than doing things on an ad hoc basis.
General exercise is something I also must commit a bit more to. I used to love taking a walk on most days now I don't do it nearly as often. I'd also like to get to the pool a bit more.
The second thing involves my attitude to money.
I'm fortunate to have a good job and one that I enjoy but I haven't been as vigilant as I should be, especially given the way things have been going not only in the media but economically in general, with saving. I definitely have saved a bit this year but events in the past couple of months have seen me undo some of that good work.
I've set myself a little goal to save a certain amount before I head off on my next holiday in a few weeks time so hopefully I can stick with it. I don't like the way it makes me feel when I realise I've blown money I could have been using for something better - even for paying bills.
Then there's the fact that I am 37 and no closer to not being single than I was at 27. Don't get me wrong I'm enjoying the freedom that it allows and having some fun along the way but, ultimately, I wonder whether 'settling down' is for me. Are children for me?
There are a couple of other issues that remain in limbo, only solidifying the feeling of being stuck. One in particular would be so easy to shove along but I'm not sure if it is actually a good idea given one of my above points.
So I'm stuck not knowing which direction is forward, what decisions are the right ones to move forward and to shake the occasional feeling of discontent.

The Dark Knight Rises

It's very hard to walk into a theatre with reasonable expectations of a film like The Dark Knight Rises because it's been pegged as a 5-star film and, in one review I saw, ''will restore your faith in the motion picture''.
It was never going to live up to the hype - and it doesn't.
That said, Christopher Nolan has done a fantastic job with his Batman trilogy.
I'll say up front that this is inferior to The Dark Knight and that has nothing to do with the mysticism surrounding Heath Ledger's now iconic performance as The Joker.
Here's my review of The Dark Knight .
Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) is a broken man as we rejoin Gotham City eight years after the events of The Dark Knight. Gotham now celebrates low crime thanks to the Harvey Dent law put in place when Dent was given credit for saving the city in the previous film. (We all know though what he was actually up to).
There's a mysterious series of 'Cat' burglaries in Gotham being staged by Selina Kyle (Anne Hathaway) and there's a new terrorist on the loose called Bane (Tom Hardy).
Bane, who calls himself Gotham's reckoning, sets out to detonate a nuclear bomb which was created, sort of, by Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman) and Miranda Tagg (Marion Cotillard) in the form of a fusion reactor to provide Gotham with clean energy.
It's time for Batman to resurface but when he does he's pursued having taken the fall for Dent's crimes. Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman), injured early in the film, begins grooming a new detective John Blake (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) who is one of the few people in town to still believe in 'The Batman'.
At 164 minutes there is a lot of ground covered so I won't go into the intricacies of the plot, but needless to say Bane wreaks havoc on Gotham and it's up to Batman to again come to the rescue.
What The Dark Knight Rises does well is ties up the trilogy though there are one or two ends left open, which I found interesting. We also get cameos from a couple of previous villains Ra's Al Ghul (Liam Neeson) and Dr Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow (Cillian Murphy) that I didn't think added anything although Murphy's cameo was amusing.
The main problem I had was with the villain Bane. He came across as more of a thug than a true evil genius which made him harder to warm to than The Joker. His voice was interesting, though.
There also wasn't nearly enough of Batman himself. After his early car chase with the police he confronts Bane and is beaten to pulp and then doesn't reappear until the climax.
However, I loved Anne Hathaway in her role. Though never actually referred to as Catwoman we all know that's who she was and her outfit was up there with Michelle Pfeiffer's. She also had an attitude that I've never seen Hathaway pull off before in her previous roles - she was the standout performance for me and in some ways made up for the absence of Batman.
As mentioned, even though Nolan's trilogy is wrapped up he does leave a loose end or two.
The main one surrounds the character of John Blake. We discover, after he tosses in his job with the police, that John is not his real first name - his name is actually Robin.
The ending will have you screaming - 'another sequel' or at least 'spin-off'. And from what I understand from my little knowledge of the comic books this is actually plausible. Though I can't understand why Nolan would want to 'conclude' something in this way.
From all of this you'll think I didn't like the film. Well, I did like it and I thought it was excellent.
But, it is absolutely not the best of Nolan's three offerings and I'm not even sure it is the second best. There's no doubt you'll enjoy it if you're a fan of the series - an 8 out of 10 - but be warned you might be a little let down if you're expecting a masterpiece.

Not Suitable For Children

The best way I can describe Not Suitable For Children  is like a puzzle that has all the right pieces but that's not put together properly.
I really wanted to like this one more than I ultimately did. Not just because it's an Australian film, it's an interesting story just one that didn't quite gel for me.
Jonah (Ryan Kwanten) is your average single twentysomething living in Sydney. He parties, hooks up and basically has no responsibility.
It's during one of his random hook ups that he discovers a lump on a testicle. It turns out he has cancer and must have the offending piece of anatomy removed. He'll be fine but the catch is that he won't be able to conceive a child. So Jonah sets out to find someone who wants to have a baby with him.
Jonah's housemates Stevie (Sarah Snook) and Gus (Ryan Corr) realise this is a bad idea but are seemingly powerless to stop him trying to convince ex-girlfriends and other random women he knows to carry his baby.
Stevie, who professes to never want children, eventually tries to set Jonah up with a lesbian couple and another friend from work who might be interested but to no avail. She then decides she'll make an arrangement and the burning sexual tension between the two finally gets the better of them, unbeknownst to Gus.
The cast is great. Ryan Kwanten plays the lovable Jonah brilliantly, in some ways he's not unlike the Griff character from his film Griff The Invisible a couple of years ago. Kind of vulnerable as well as confident.
Sarah Snook grows on you, perhaps it's her character that is a little slow to develop. Ryan Corr, who we know from Packed To The Rafters, is the ultimate sidekick. It's almost like they took Coby from Rafters, made him a little less bumbling, and planted him in the film. He's great and he gets most of the funny lines - including the very last one in the movie which is a riot - and seems oddly obsessed with seeing the cancerous testicle once it has been removed.
So why didn't it quite work? I think it spent too much time trying to decide what type of movie it is. They would have been better served going for a drama with elements of the rom-com rather than the other way around because it took too long to start to work in that way. You're basically inside the last half an hour before that all clicks.
It's an excellent story idea....a guy whose thoughts are so far from parenthood and settling down suddenly finds being a father his top priority, just as he's given up he finds love.
I wouldn't discourage anyone from giving this a go, you might get more out of it than I did or it might resonate more. A 7 out of 10, which is still good, but I was hoping for an 8 or more.

You always want what you can't have

I was going to write some kind of reflective poem or the like but why not be a little more straight forward.
The past few weeks have been quite eye-opening. In some ways I feel a bit like that six-year-old kid that wants a lollipop and jumps up and down in frustration when he's denied it.
I completely understand the concept of you can't always have what you want, but in this case it is clearly that I want what I can't have.
Actually, I'm not completely sure that I do want it but the opportunity would be great.
Then I'd have something to consider seriously, rather than let my mind continue to beat itself up as it works out how to handle situations.
Would I rather have the status quo and simply want something I can't have, or would I prefer to have the chance to be completely crushed?
Everything is really easy in theory.
Do I really understand what having that chance might actually mean? Or am I just chasing waterfalls? (Yes, that's a TLC song reference).
Again, is that what I really want? It's something I have expressed several times, while risking being a bit unfair and spoiling a very good and promising situation.
People are interesting creatures. And, despite protesting to the contrary a number of times, they can quite often surprise me. Books and covers and judging, you know what I mean.
In a place like Sydney superficiality rules. It's all about 'me', you only have to travel on public transport to work that out let alone getting among the so called A list.
Real people are out there, and I'm fortunate to know quite a few and to have met some who I, admittedly, had wrongly pegged as likely shallow types.
They haven't all made my life better, but some definitely have had an impact.
But they have also served to make me realise that I'm wanting what I can't have at the moment.

Here we go again

For once it isn't me that's going around in circles but I'm pretty sure I don't want to be taken along for the ride again.
It's hard enough to personally try and move forward.
While I still don't know what I want exactly, I do know that there is only so long you can hit your head against the wall before you work out it's doing you damage.
Am I in a position to change anything? Absolutely I am. However, I'm not overly willing to make knee-jerk reactions even though it is something that has been at the forefront of my thinking for a little while now.
Why the hesitation? Once you make changes you can't go back. I know that flies in the face of what I'm guessing I'm commenting on right now but they call it 'comfort' for a reason.
I'm trying hard to change a few things about myself and I'm finding that it isn't as easy in practice as it is in theory. No pain, no gain....that's pretty true. My pain thresh-hold when it comes to some things isn't overly high, though.
I recently watched the classic 1980 film The Blues Brothers (for the first time, I might add) and what struck me was that I really don't allow myself to have much fun.
To keep the movie references going, there's a scene in Six Degrees Of Separation where a two sided Kandinsky painting is held up and described as representing Chaos and Control. I like the illusion of being in control.

The Amazing Spider-Man

I felt a profound sense of deva ju watching The Amazing Spider-Man for obvious reasons.
I've seen it before!
It was only 10 years ago that Marvel brought Spider-Man to the big screen starring Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst, and only five years since Spider-Man 3 which was, admittedly, a bit too filled up having two villains on the scene.
In their wisdom, Marvel decided to do a 'Batman Begins' on the Spider-Man franchise and here we are with Andrew Garfield taking over the lead role.
Mary Jane has been brushed aside and we have Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone), a character which was in Spider-Man 3 played by Bryce Dallas Howard, as the major love interest.
We kick off a little differently in the 2012 reboot learning that Peter Parker's father was working on a top secret project with Dr Curt Conners (Rhys Ifans) involving spiders which was hoped would help people who have lost limbs (like the doctor).
He disappeared shortly after leaving Peter with his aunt May (Sally Field) and uncle Ben (Martin Sheen).
After sneaking into a intern visit at Oscorp (yes, owned by Norman Osborn) to visit Dr Conners, Peter is bitten by a genetically enhanced spider and pretty soon starts discovering all these weird and wonderful powers.
The following things happen as they did in the first Spider-Man: Peter allows a criminal to get away with robbing someone and then the robber kills uncle Ben; the Dr, just like Norman Osborn, experiments on himself and is transformed into the villain (in this case The Lizard); Peter has a fight with the school bully Flash; Peter decides he needs a mask to fight crime and is tagged 'Spider-Man' by someone else; he's seen as a bad guy this time by the town police chief (Denis Leary), who is also Gwen's father; there's a major fight with the villain on a bridge; there is a funeral at the end.
What is done differently is the character of Spider-Man in that he's a bit more of a teen than Maguire's and seems to enjoy it more and makes more sarcastic comments.
The action scenes aren't particularly new or even very different from the 2002 version which is odd given the improvements in CGI.
Anyway, we all know the story. What this one does well is develops the characters a little better, though Garfield's Parker didn't seem to change physically after being bitten as Maguire's did. That said he was possibly a bit more likeable.
The Lizard was about the same as the Green Goblin and he even talked to himself like that character did.
Overall, I have to say it was a good movie but I'm certain it isn't the definitive Spider-Man film. It wasn't any better than the 2002 version which also had Willem Defoe and James Franco in the cast.
Having said that it will be interesting to see where they move now for the sequel (there will be a sequel, the scene during the credits would confirm that) because if the Green Goblin is the next villain, or Dr Octopus for that matter, then it's a bit of a cop out.
I'd have preferred them to move forward with Spider-Man, I don't know why they felt the need to go back to the start so soon.
It's good but if you've seen the 2002 film and its sequels you'll definitely have the same deva vu feeling I had with me for the two hours or so. My expectations weren't high, right from the time I heard they were making a new series, and it was pretty much as I anticipated.
I think I gave the original trilogy 9s or thereabouts, this one gets a 7 out of 10.

Prometheus

A movie like Prometheus was always going to have a lot to live up to given it has been widely reviewed as a prequel to the classic 1979 film Alien.
In some ways it is most definitely intended to precede that film but I think director Ridley Scott has done well to put some distance between them.
Because of this connection to a legendary film a lot of critics have been pretty savage in their disdain. Indeed the reviews I was told by others who had seen it ranged from no good to outstanding.
I'm not going to go into the intricacies of the plot and what planet the ship lands on etc, you can find that out elsewhere.
Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) and Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall-Green) are scientists who discover a link to the origins of mankind and their discovery prompts rich tycoon Peter Weyland (an unrecognisable Guy Pearce) to fund a trip to a faraway galaxy in search of answers under the guidance of Meredith Vickers (Charlize Theron).
When the crew of the Prometheus arrive they discover a strip of land that has been cleared and several dome shaped buildings erected.
Naturally the crew checks out their finding and they discover a strange labyrinth with a large number of dead creatures and a room that seems to be a tomb or a temple.
When the ship's android David (Michael Fassbender) smuggles something from the room back onto the ship and gets Holloway to consume some of the strange substance he has discovered all hell breaks loose.
Being spoken in the same terms as the Alien series is a bit unfair but you do get insight into the origin of the species seen in the original series. You do have to wait for it, though.
Fassbender is particularly good in his role. David, being an android, can't feel emotion and the actor does an outstanding job of appearing cold, aloof and very calculated in his moves as he carries out the wishes of his master Weyland.
There's enough tension in there to keep you on your toes and a little of the horror that you'd expect from an Alien movie (think more movies 1 and 2, not 3 and 4). Given the trail blazed by those films and our general desensitisation to gore the movie isn't as unsettling as it could have been say 20 or 30 years ago.
I think it might benefit from a second viewing, there is so much to work out in so little time (even though the film is over two hours long) you don't really pay a lot of attention to the characters.
Overall, if you can manage to see Prometheus with an open mind and not associate it too closely to Alien (let's face it, Rapace's character is no Ripley) then you'll go a long way toward liking it.
The ending is a little weak, I might add, but really, how do you top 'get away from her, you bitch'?
I thought a 7 out of 10, and I'll say it was a lot more interesting than I was expecting.

Ted

If you've seen the TV show Family Guy then you'll know what to expect from Ted which is the first movie from its creator Seth McFarlane.
The voice of narrator Patrick Stewart tells us the story of John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) who as a young boy made a Christmas wish that his bear Teddy could be a real friend.
As it always does, his wish is granted and Ted comes to life.
We flash forward some 27 years and John and Ted are still together ('thunder buddies for life' is their hilarious (wait and see it) bond) much to the frustration of John's girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis).
Ted is far from the innocent child's play buddy he was when John was eight. He's now a surly, offensive, pot smoking ex-celebrity.
The last straw for Lori comes when Ted has invited four hookers over one night to party and one of them crosses many lines in what she is dared to do. I just can't bring myself to say what it is.
So Ted's forced to move out and get a job and his own apartment but the fact that John still spends so much time with him continues to gnaw at his relationship with Lori.
For extra plot we also meet Ted's girlfriend Tami Lynn (Jessica Barth) and a weird father (Giovanniu Ribisi)and son pair who want to buy Ted from John. They're responsible for a few pretty funny scenes.
Given what he produces with Family Guy, you know that Ted is a pretty lowbrow comedy but it is very funny and does have a heart. There's even a Peter Griffin reference and a rather hilarious uncredited cameo from Ryan Reynolds plus, oddly, singer Norah Jones.
I had pretty high expectations going into the film, because the trailer was just so funny, and it lived up to them. I wasn't blown away by it but there's enough here to keep you chuckling throughout most of the movie as well as several very, very funny scenes.
One of the more original comedies to come out for a while, Ted is definitely not for the young ones but if they already watch Family Guy then this will be nothing new. I thought it was funnier than American Pie 4 and up there with The Inbetweeners Movie. A 7.5 out of 10, and a good laugh.

Turmoil

OK, this is going to be a bit personal.
I'm not really sure where I am at the moment, things are a bit strange. I could argue that some of it is not necessarily bad or unsettling, but it is significant.
It's been a while since I've experienced thoughts and feelings like I have recently (I should note, I'm not talking anything negative here) and not only has it come as a surprise it's causing a bit of turmoil.
That's an interesting word, really.
In some respects it's awesome that I can feel like this, for a long while I kind of felt numb or at least indifferent.
Perhaps getting off the anti-depressants, if only for a little while, was a good thing to do.
But the problem is that I don't know what to do with all this. And I don't know what I'm looking for, if anything at all.
Where should my energies be directed? I've spent a lot of time trying to work it out in my head and it just seems to get harder.
I have to say in one way all this is pretty great, if difficult to compartmentalise. I don't really do that, though, put things in different segments - perhaps that's another issue.
I think I'm rambling a bit now. In a way it's a good problem to have.
There are other side issues that need to be addressed, but I was hoping at least one or two of them would work themselves out naturally. Seemingly, though, this hasn't been the case.
So there are a couple of things in a bit of limbo and changes I'm in some ways ready to make but in other ways a fair way off considering. Perhaps July 1 isn't the day to be comprehending that.
I just wonder in what exciting direction this experience could take me....

Snow White & The Huntsman

It was with about a medium amount of expectation that I viewed Snow White & The Huntsman and, unfortunately, I was still a little let down.
Continuing the modern habit of twisting the fairy tale around (see Red Riding Hood), we see Snow White (Kristen Stewart) escaping from her cell where the evil Queen Ravenna (Charlize Theron) has had her imprisoned since she was a child to set out and find her father's army to take her down.
See, Ravenna murdered the king (Noah Huntly) shortly after marrying him and proceeded to wreak havoc in his kingdom.
Ravenna's endless beauty comes from sucking the beauty out of younger people but once the Mirror tells her that Snow White is fairer than her she decides to kill her in order to have everlasting youth.
So, once Snow White has escaped she summons the Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) to track her down in the Dark Forest (where she has no power) and bring her back to the castle. When he realises he has been tricked the Huntsman becomes her protector as she searches for Duke Hammond (Vincent Regan) and reclaims her rightful place as the princess and heir to the throne.
Snow White's young friend William (Sam Claflin) discovers she is alive and also heads out to bring her home, teaming up with the Queen's force to find her.
I had a few problems with this film.
First, I think Kristen Stewart was horribly miscast. She just looks almost exactly like Bella Swan from the Twilight movies so it is hard to see her as Snow White.
I expected more from Theron, I expected an evil queen along the lines of Anna from the updated V series - a villain that made your skin crawl. But Theron's Ravenna behaved like a spoiled brat and just did a lot of shouting. Pretty disappointed there because I love a good villain.
There were some good moments, particularly when Snow White meets the dwarfs and is taken into their fairy land. And, admittedly some of the action is pretty well done.
With regard to the original story - yes, we do hear 'Mirror, Mirror on the wall....' etc, there is a poison apple, seven dwarfs (though not with the traditional names), and a kiss that awakens Snow White.
I wouldn't say I was bored through the film but I certainly wasn't captivated. The soundtrack isn't bad but I think the biggest problem lies in the casting and the character of Ravenna.  They should have opted away from two actors in massive franchises at the moment - Stewart, as mentioned, just looks like Bella, and Hemsworth is not that much unlike Thor (aside from the obvious hammer and costume).
I suspect there will be a sequel here and I think they are battling uphill if they think it will be better than this mediocre offering. A 6 out of 10. See it if you must but you're not missing anything if you don't.

Rock Of Ages

I know nothing about the stage show and how it translates to the screen but what I can say about Rock Of Ages  is that it is damn good fun!
As far as plot goes it is your standard 'country girl comes to the big city looking for fame and falls for the first hot young guy she meets' story. Only it is set in 1987 and told through the words of classic 80s rock songs.
Sherrie (Julianne Hough) and Drew (Diego Bonita) are the young couple in question and their romance hits a rough patch when the legendary Stacee Jaxx (Tom Cruise) plays at the Bourbon Bar where they work.
The bar is run by an odd couple Dennis (Alec Baldwin) and Lonny (Russell Brand) while other notable actors include Bryan Cranston and Catherine Zeta-Jones as the mayor and his wife Patricia who are trying to rid LA of the 'strip' that the bar is on, and Paul Giammati as Jaxx's manager.
While the lead couple are competent it is the seasoned performers that shine through.
If you are a fan of 80s rock then you won't notice the plot, or lack thereof, and you'll be too busy singing along to the soundtrack of your youth. I know I was.
Here are some of the classics covered (and not badly in some cases) - Waiting For A Girl Like You (Foreigner), Wanted Dead Or Alive (Bon Jovi), Pour Some Sugar On Me (Def Leppard), Paradise City (Guns 'N' Roses), Nothing But A Good Time (Poison), Hit Me With Your Best Shot (Pat Benatar), I Love Rock 'N' Roll (Joan Jett), I Want To Know What Love Is (Foreigner), Can't Fight This Feeling (REO Speedwagon), Every Rose Has Its Thorn (Poison) and Don't Stop Believing (Journey). To name some.
I don't think I've had as much fun in a movie since I saw Hairspray, which was also made by Adam Shankman. There were a number of laugh out loud moments, one particular one featuring Baldwin and Brand, and the whole feel of the film was fun and frivolous.
There was one goof that slipped through - in an early scene in a Tower Records store Skid Row's 'I Remember You' is playing in the background....Skid Row's album wasn't released until 1989, two years after the scene was set. Having said that I love that song too so I didn't mind it being there.
So, great fun and 2 hours you will really enjoy. A 7.5 out of 10.

Something new

Sitting there waiting, watching the clock
Thoughts swirling, stomach calm but mind racing
That must mean something....
Wonder has won the battle
In truth there wasn't really a fight
This is something new and something special
Something undefined, something with potential
I wasn't looking for anything
But I found what I could have been looking for
What it is doesn't matter right now
What it could be does
What do I want it to be?

Farewell One Tree Hill

It's the show I named the blog after so I had better offer comment on the series' final season, which I finished watching back in April.
One Tree Hill isn't a show that was given much air time here in Australia and I wound up watching it on the net over the final three seasons. If the many TV channels here can't find a spot for it I was always going to watch it however I could.
Now the show could have wrapped up happily after the sixth season when Lucas and Peyton, OTH's two central characters by this stage, drove off into the sunset.
But it pressed on and evolved and managed to remain fresh. Though it took a little while.
I was pleased when they finished up season 8 and announced it would return for a final season - not a lot of shows are given the chance to finish on their own terms.
We saw a few characters return during the course of season 9 - Chris Keller, who I always hated because he spoke in the third person far too much, Dan Scott had a much larger role, Deb also bobbed up and even Lucas made what I viewed as a wasted cameo for an episode.
The central plot of Nathan's kidnapping was far fetched but, then again, it is a soap and if I had a problem with that then why didn't I give up around the time of Peyton's crazy stalker who pretended to be her brother?
In a way I think the final time jump was unnecessary - I didn't need to know that Jamie would become a champion basketballer (he certainly grew a couple of feet as a teenager!) but going back to the start (with basketball the central focus) worked well all season so why not finish off the same way.
Music has always been central to the show and it was a nice touch that Gavin Degraw came back to sing I Don't Want To Be (the show's theme) in the final episode - repeating his appearance in the very first where he also performed the song.
Few shows can last nine seasons, especially the teen-type series. Look at similar shows - The OC (4 seasons), Dawson's Creek (6 seasons) - they haven't made it nearly as far and that is a credit to Mark Schwahn and how he has continually reinvented it. Sure, it did miss Lucas and Peyton in the last couple of seasons and I would have liked to have seen Rachel return one more time but I'm very glad I came across One Tree Hill.
It was time well spent.

What else is out there?

I'm sure it is a question that everyone ponders at some stage - is there more? What else could/should I be doing?
For want of a better term, my 'mojo' took a bit of a hit this last week and it has left me thinking about where things stand at the moment.
I'm not going to rush out and make significant changes or anything like that, a lot of things still stand - I love my job and everything it allows me to do, but outside of that I am wondering where I'm headed.
Part of having the type of job I do is you have a lot of exposure to the gambling industry and at times this has tripped me up. After taking three months off gambling (and only slipping up slightly a couple of times) I know that I can survive without having a bet. But, like any habit, it is difficult to rein it in (pun sort of intended).
I do enjoy going to the movies and, possibly due to there being not a lot of interesting films around, I'm a bit down on the number I've seen approaching the halfway mark in the year.
I managed to go for a swim yesterday and quite enjoyed it and I know I haven't been as regular in taking my ipod for a walk ;-) lately. Though I am happy to say the gym doesn't hold as many fears as it used to, it is still a very intimidating place but I'm able to go.
I still feel the need to protect myself, in a way, though and that can be restrictive. Nowhere near as much as a few years back, I should say.
I think a bit of the problem, in general terms, is focus. I can be easily distracted at times and perhaps that is the first step.

Shame

I saw Shame a few months ago but didn't get around to doing a review.
Let me start by saying this isn't for everyone, it's a movie about addiction - sex addiction in this case - and it is graphic at times (I don't just mean in terms of sex).
It focuses on Brandon (Michael Fassbender), a New York professional whose life is dictated by his sex addiction. He is actively distracted by the need to engage in pretty much any kind of sexual activity, he's not against paying for it and he'll shell out for a hotel room if need be. He looks at porn on his work computer and, at one point, goes to a place where he knows he'll get what he wants after almost being beaten to death by the boyfriend of a woman he's trying to seduce (rather disgustingly I might add).
His carefully constructed life is disrupted when his sister Sissy (Carey Mulligan) arrives on his doorstep unannounced (though you do note that she calls him a number of times but he ignores the phone) with her life in tatters.
Some of the graphic nature I refer to can be seen in his utter disinterest in his sister's plight and his disgust in her presence getting in the way of his 'pursuits'.
This doesn't sound like a great movie, does it? Well, you've got to look deeper.
Fassbender is remarkable in this film, his detachment is scary and while the subject matter is what it is, you can easily transfer it to other types of addiction.
Carey Mulligan is also excellent, Sissy is troubled in different ways and unlike her brother she is aware of the emotional connection that sex implies (to most people). Ironically, this is what causes her a lot of problems.
The two actors have to carry the film (particularly Fassbender) and while it's not easy viewing it is a very compelling, sometimes dire, examination of addition and its ramifications. The final scene is stunning as well.
While I couldn't say 'rush out and see this' I'll say it will probably be in my top 5 at the end of the year. An 8.5 out of 10.

Slight retreat

I gave it a go and I'm going to have to make a retreat.
After about 10 days off the anti-depressants I'm going back on them, at a lower dose, because I think that I went off them too fast and the body hasn't appreciated it.
Feeling a bit crummy from time to time, stomach upsets and a spacey kind of feeling are telling me that perhaps I was premature in tapering off them. There's a chance that it's not related but it is too much of a coincidence that I can't ignore it as a possibility.
Of course, there is the thought in the back of my head that there could be a relapse of the Crohn's Disease about to happen....I know I've had that fear before and it never eventuated, and at this stage it is only a small possibility.
I don't mind going back on the tablets for a while, perhaps I do need them though I didn't like taking them.
My hope now is that things settle back down shortly, the longer things go on the more uneasy it would make me.
I was proud of myself for getting off them, and I still am, but in hindsight a bit more consultation with the GP or chemist might have been wise.

Confirmation

It's always good to get the news you were expecting, but also there's a sense of relief regardless of how certain you are of the outcome.
So with confirmation that all is good I move forward.
The success of the next step will be known in a day or two but, again, I don't anticipate any dramas there. The tapering has been working well and I'm basically taking nothing now as it is so the body isn't going to start missing it now.
I'm kinda proud of myself.

Moments of truth

I have a few things happening this week that could prove to be interesting and potentially dramatic.
This will be the week that I farewell the anti-depressant drugs I've had to take for the best part of seven years having successfully tapered down to 1/8th of what I was on a few months back.
One more step and that will be taken in two days.
I'm not a novice when it comes to getting test results either and I have some coming up this week also that I'm not overly concerned about but it is still nice to get the all clear.
I don't want to sound overconfident. But I'm certainly not as concerned as I was the night before getting my big diagnosis when all I could think was ''what if I have cancer?''.
Wish me luck.....

The Avengers

After many years of build up we finally arrive at The Avengers and the wait has been well and truly worth it.
Those who saw Thor would be aware of the ambitions of Loki (Tom Hiddleston) to be worshipped and seen as a ruler to be feared, well he gives it a red hot go and serves as the catalyst for Nick Fury (Samuel L Jackson) to bring together The Avengers.
The opening reunites us with a few characters from Thor, notably Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) and Professor Selvig (Stellan Skarsgard) who are effectively brainwashed by Loki into joining him.
The call goes out to assemble the motley crew that is the Avengers - Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr), Black Widow (Scarlett Johannsen), Captain America (Chris Evans) and The Hulk (Mark Ruffalo). Thor (Chris Hemsworth) arrives from Asgard in pursuit of Loki and joins the team.
There's a bit of get-to-know you clashes between the supposed allies before we get down to the business of working out how to stop Loki from opening a portal and allowing all manner of alien attacks happen.
(A quick aside - it's a real shame that Mark Ruffalo didn't get an opportunity to be Bruce Banner in a Hulk film, he has a lap on both Bana and Norton's versions).
That's the plot, now some general comments.
It's not an easy thing to bring together so many exceptional characters, and big characters, and give them depth as well and even though most had their own movies so we can get to know them the filmmakers don't assume the audience automatically knows everything.
How much better could, say, Spider Man 3 been if they'd taken the time to make the villains a bit more three dimensional?
We don't have that problem in the Avengers and I'd say it is largely because of the involvement of Joss Whedon (Buffy among others). He's made an intelligent, witty and humourous film that features some amazing action sequences and he's brought out the best in, admittedly, some very talented actors.
Jeremy Renner is fast becoming a favourite of mine and Chris Evans was born to be Captain America. Scarlett, well, she's just spectacular!
What he has done is, in my view, established a new benchmark for the super hero/comic book genre - and yes that includes Chris Nolan's Batman films.
Take a bow Joss Whedon. No, check that. Take two bows. This is just brilliant and lives right up to everything it promised.
Naturally this is a franchise so there is an extra scene pointing us in a direction for the future. What we do know is Iron Man 3 and Thor 2 are on the way as well, likely before we get to an Avengers 2.I say bring them all on.
A very solid 9 out of 10.

Tapering

I think I'm on my third or fourth attempt at tapering off the anti-depressants I've been using for almost seven years now.
It seems like longer in some respects. Then again you get so used to taking them they become just a part of the routine.
But that's the important thing - routine. It's imperative that things change in that area. it is all well and good to have a routine, or series of habits, but you can't get too comfortable.
For a while now it has been on my radar that some things need to change. Certainly in the last six to nine months I have done some things differently, had some new experiences and taken a few more risks.
Some of those risks have been worthwhile, others have not been so successful.
I also went through an extended period of restraining from gambling. I did that with a fair degree of success though did begin to slip up towards the end. It was still a win, pun kind of intended.
The anti-depressants are a crutch in a way but at the same time they are a burden.
They make you feel nothing. Well, more to the point they have you in perpetual state of 'meh'. That gets frustrating.
One of the changes I am proud of is being able to make at least a semi-regular commitment to going to the gym. I certainly have noticed the difference and I think it has contributed a fair bit towards getting as far along with the tapering that I have to date.
I am half way there. For the first time in my attempts of reduction I have made it to the half way mark and while I am experiencing a bit of the headache-type withdrawl symptoms they aren't too bad at this stage. I figure if I can get through another week or so I might be ready to make a further reduction and then the finish line will be in sight.
I definitely feel some benefits from being on the reduced amount....the 'meh' feeling isn't so pronounced but I have to be wary that I need to be vigilant in keeping up the natural production of serotonin.
It will be an achievement of no small amount when I reach the goal of being anti-depressant free.

Neglect

For whatever reason it's been a while since I've posted a review or anything else here.
I've given a bit of thought to removing the blog but I'm thinking at the moment to keep going and perhaps to try to be a bit more regular than just a movie review.
I did have a couple of weeks there without the internet due to what turned out to be a faulty modem.
So, watch this space....I guess.

The Muppets

There really aren't any great surprises in the first Muppet movie since 1999, The Muppets , but that's quite okay because it is familiarity that is at the heart of the movie.
Gary (Jason Segal) and his 'brother' Walter (Peter Linz) have grown up together and are inseparable, a little to the disappointment of Gary's 10-year girlfriend Mary (Amy Adams).
Walter has never felt that he fitted in and it is only when he sees The Muppet Show for the first time that he finally finds something that gives him a sense of belonging. He also idolises Kermit.
Gary, Mary and Walter travel to LA to see take the Muppet Theatre tour only to find that it has been run down and on the verge of closure at the hands of an evil oil tycoon Tex Richman (Chris Cooper).
The trio set out to find Kermit and with their help our favourite frog sets out to reform the muppets and raise $10 million to save the theatre.
There are heaps of cheesy songs, nods to previous Muppet movies, celebrity cameos (including an hilarious one by Jim Reynolds, who is best known as Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory) and, of course, the Manah Manah song.
I think while this will appeal a bit to kids it will certainly resonate with the big kids, such as myself, who grew up when the muppets were massive. What this movie shows is that they still are and, really, the wholesome brand of humour is what's missing in the world in 2012.
You'll have a great time and guaranteed to have a laugh and leave the cinema feeling good. That's what the Muppets are all about.
A 7.5 out of 10.

A better life

When I was a teenager I'd often wonder what other people's lives were like as I walked past houses, particularly ones that looked better than mine.
I also daydreamed about living in the USA, I'd imagined that over there a better life was certain. That idea largely came from the fact that my TV died comprised a lot of American dramas - 90210, Party Of Five etc.
I think that wondering has stayed with me because I still look at other people and surmise that their lives must be better. Sure that is a very superficial assessment.
I don't have it bad. In fact I'm sure that there are a whole heap of people who would like to have had the opportunities that I have.
Small comfort, sometimes, though.
Then I think, what would it be like now if I had done some things differently. What if I'd decided to start working out when I was 16?
What if I had gone to a different university and done a different course? (That one would change things considerably I would suggest, but I have to say I do enjoy my job!).
I could keep listing questions and dwelling over possible 'sliding doors' moments. It won't get me anywhere.
If I want things to change I have to instigate them, take control of where I am heading as best as one can.
At least then I can't sit back and wonder what might have been.....

Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows

Sequel-itis strikes again despite the best efforts of a few cast members in Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows which simply goes too far trying to top what was a very entertaining 'original'.
As shown at the end of the first film, Holmes' foe in this sequel is the evil genius Professor Moriarty (Jared Harris) and he is really one of the stand out performances in the film, alongside Jude Law's Dr Watson.
In true Robert Downey Jr style, Holmes hijacks Watson's stag party and wedding, and honeymoon, in the name of pursuing Moriarty and solving his case.
The trouble is, in this context it really didn't work for me like it has in other films. Holmes is a detective, not a common street thug. And while some of his insightful fight scenes were interesting in the first film I thought the inflated number of fight scenes was excessive for someone whose real talent is in his mind.
Along for the ride is Noomi Rapace (from the original Dragon Tattoo movies) as a gypsy Simza who is drawn into the hunt for Moriarty.
There are entertaining elements to this film, don't get me wrong. But I went in expecting some development from the first one and it was just a mish-mash of fights and Holmes pestering the life out of Watson - though their bromance was pretty clearly highlighted.
The chess scene towards the end with Holmes and Moriarty was an example of the type of psychological battles the two enemies have and there wasn't nearly enough of that with the writers resorting to mindless, though well choreographed, action.
Stephen Fry, as Moycroft Holmes, does supply a few comedic moments, albeit one rather embarrassing one included, but overall the film was disappointing.
SPOILER!
Given that Watson types The End on his manuscript at the end of the film, to also signal the film is finished, Holmes types a ? leading us all to believe another sequel will be on the way. I know they do this in just about every film series (I'm surprised they didn't try it with Harry Potter just to keep the franchise going) but it was unnecessary.
A 6 out of 10.

The Iron Lady

A lot has already been said about the performance of Meryl Streep in The Iron Lady and the only thing I can add is to say it is one of the most stirring performances I have seen in a film.
It can't be easy to portray such a famous, real life, person but Streep is simply stunning as former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, dubbed the Iron Lady because of her tough approach to tackling the man's game of politics.
Given that during Thatcher's 11 years as PM I was between the ages of 4 and 15, or thereabouts, I don't have an intimate personal understanding of how the world saw her. So other than knowing who she is - first female PM, etc - I didn't have any strong feeling either way about her.
However, I am aware that she was a leader that polarised people. You either loved her or hated her.
I think this may have helped because it is one of the finest films I have seen in a number of years.
But it isn't an easy ride. Thatcher is presented at the beginning as an aging, possibly dementia-ridden, powerless woman and it is quite sad, knowing who she is, to watch her struggle.
It is as the elderly Thatcher that Streep will just knock you out. While as a younger woman it is obvious that it is Streep playing the role but there are times when you have to double take looking at the elder version. And she nails her voice.
Her story, her rise to power in the UK, is told in flashbacks. And she is always accompanied by her late husband Denis (Jim Broadbent) who she hasn't been able to let go of emotionally.
While the film wasn't perfect I think that Streep's presence and portrayal really make you see past any flaw it may have. Really, though, the only thing I felt was missing was that bit at the end of the film, when the movie is about a real person, that tells you a bit of real life context.
I know there may have been some great performances in the lead up to the Oscars but, really, if Meryl Streep doesn't win best actress then the Academy is a joke.
She embodied everything in a 'best actress' turn - she consumed the role, she commanded your attention and she made you feel something (whether positive or negative) about the character. And she was flawless.
Bravo, Meryl. A 9 out of 10.

Tower Heist

You don't realise just how ridiculous the idea of robbing someone of $20 million is until you see Tower Heist .
Sure movies like the Oceans series suggest it can be done but we're talking about a bunch of disgruntled former hotel employees and a petty thief trying to access a safe in a penthouse which is guarded by the FBI.
But that's what Josh Kovacs (Ben Stiller) decides to do when billionaire Arthur Shaw (Alan Alda) squanders all of the employees' pension fund.
With a motley crew of accomplices - a con Slide (Eddie Murphy), his brother-in-law Charlie (Casey Affleck), failed investor Mr Fitzhugh (Matthew Broderick), ex Burger King employee Enrique (Michael Pena) and Jamaican maid Odessa (Gabourey Sidibe) - they attempt to steal back the money they are owed.
Also caught up in the madness is Agent Claire Denham (Tea Leoni), who inadvertently gives Kovacs the idea to rob Shaw.
Reality pretty much has to be left at the door when you walk in but it is a pretty fun ride.
Stiller is in his element here, he's not trying to be an outrageous character. In fact, he's pretty much the straight man once Murphy is involved.
It's an interesting bunch of casting as well but it seems to gel, with Matthew Broderick playing a bit of a Ferris Bueller all grown up but now bankrupt character.
There are several quite amazing scenes and in one particular scene all I could think is 'there is no way anyone could get away with this is real life'. Anyway, if you're looking for a bit of light hearted escapism then this isn't a bad one. A 7 out of 10.