Here we go again

For once it isn't me that's going around in circles but I'm pretty sure I don't want to be taken along for the ride again.
It's hard enough to personally try and move forward.
While I still don't know what I want exactly, I do know that there is only so long you can hit your head against the wall before you work out it's doing you damage.
Am I in a position to change anything? Absolutely I am. However, I'm not overly willing to make knee-jerk reactions even though it is something that has been at the forefront of my thinking for a little while now.
Why the hesitation? Once you make changes you can't go back. I know that flies in the face of what I'm guessing I'm commenting on right now but they call it 'comfort' for a reason.
I'm trying hard to change a few things about myself and I'm finding that it isn't as easy in practice as it is in theory. No pain, no gain....that's pretty true. My pain thresh-hold when it comes to some things isn't overly high, though.
I recently watched the classic 1980 film The Blues Brothers (for the first time, I might add) and what struck me was that I really don't allow myself to have much fun.
To keep the movie references going, there's a scene in Six Degrees Of Separation where a two sided Kandinsky painting is held up and described as representing Chaos and Control. I like the illusion of being in control.