Standing still

Fear is an interesting thing.
It can make you do things you didn't think you were capable of. At the same time it can make you feel like less of a person, sometimes unable to function.
Over the past year I have swung in between both those descriptions. Much to my frustration I am unable to explain how it reached such extremes.
The times when you feel invincible, strong and powerful are awesome. When you feel weak, vulnerable and powerless are frightening.
Again, to my dismay, one day it's the former the next it's the latter and there doesn't seem to be a reason. OK sometimes there is a reason. My mind, like most people I imagine, can work overtime on things it really shouldn't.
It jumps on a bandwagon of thought and just runs with it until all possible scenarios have been brought to my attention. While insight is a good thing, too much insight is counter-productive.
I am trying to learn not to dwell on what has been. Focusing on now and what is to come is much more positive but again it depends what day I am on.
The bible says that worry won't add a second to a person's life but we still do it. We feel like it is protecting us from the bad things of the world. In the end worrying just makes us less surprised and more frightened of the unknown.
I've been through that. Am I out the other side?
I don't know. Some days I am sure it is behind me. Other days I am back at square one. Perhaps not square one but maybe square two or three.
I haven't been standing still completely. There has been definite, irrefutable evidence of steps forward. Not fast enough though.

* Standing Still is a song by Jewel