I'm no closer to settling the issue I railed a couple of weeks ago.
On one hand it is a source of some frustration and on the other, I guess, I'm happy not to feel bound to anything. That may be a little over the top.
The really busy period at work, which has run for the last month, should ease from tomorrow and hopefully I can take it a bit easier. I'm feeling a shade frayed. Ultimately how much I dive into work is up to me and it is very hard to resist getting completely immersed. That's the occupational hazard of loving what you do. And things have been going very well at work lately.
I'm a little spooked at the moment as well. Had a few off days here and there, most likely due to a cold or something like that, and that always raises my alertness. With only six or so months passed since I got better from the last time I really don't want to go back there anytime soon.
It makes me wonder if I actually learned anything from the last experience.
While I've had some really great times lately, and it's awesome to wake up and not feel tired and run down, I think I still fear returning to the times around Christmas at least as much as I did before. The mind is a much more powerful thing than we give it credit for.
I know there is no point in worrying about something that is largely out of your control, aside from everything that I am already doing, but somehow it's always there. In the back of my mind and at times it creeps forward.
The bible says to offer all your anxiety and worry up to God. Maybe I haven't been doing that enough. I try not to pray for myself too often and when I do I try to make myself last.
At the moment one of the things I'm asking God for is to help me make up my mind.
No comments:
Post a Comment