You'll never know

I went to church tonight for the first time in a while.
Fortunately, it was a very positive experience and I met some very nice people. That's encouraging to start.
I was quite taken by the guy leading the music in the way he was so open and just poured his heart out with the words he said. I admire that and took the opportunity to tell him that and how he responded was significant - we're all broken, there's no-one here who is perfect, but he's with 'family' and that love is brought out in various ways.
It wasn't a long conversation but hopefully there will be more.
Why did I go to church? It's been on my mind for a while now and I hope tonight can be the start of some change for me.
The message was an excellent one, about how you'll never grow if you don't push yourself (termed as 'go') and I think I only yawned once during the sermon (which would be a personal record I'd say).
I'll consider going again next week. I need some stability in certain areas and from what I experienced tonight I think there is a chance I can find it in this way.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

After what I regard as a disappointing sixth instalment, Harry Potter is back to its best with the penultimate film in the franchise - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 .
With Hogwarts now fading into the background following the death of Dumbledore in the previous movie, Harry and co are thrown into the real word (somewhat) as Voldemort increases his attacks.
If you didn't know they had split the final book (I have read none of them) into two movies you'd be hanging on the edge of your seat at the climax of part 1.
A lot of the focus is on the three young characters Harry, Ron and Hermoine and the dynamic between the three of them has never been so tense, in a number of ways.
Much of part 1 is about the search for the Horcruxes which must be destroyed to bring down Voldemort. There is infighting between the trio, some sexual tension and a number of light moments.
I even didn't mind Dobby in this film, though his third person talking is hard to listen to at times.

Possibly the highlight of Hallows part 1 is the animated sequence depicting the story of the Deathly Hallows and the realisation that they are what Voldemort is after to defeat Harry Potter.

With six months to wait and find out how the series concludes, I was a little disappointed that there wasn't a 'to be concluded' segment at the end a la Back To The Future III to give us a taste of what is to come.

One of the better Harry Potter films and a solid 8 out of 10.

Numbness

It's amazing what a good TV show can do to you.
I felt a strange sense of numbness as I watched Packed To The Rafters tonight, in the wake of the death of a major character last week.
For quite a while I wondered what it was about the episode that felt wrong. Different. And it wasn't until the end I realised it was because I felt the same way Ben Rafter (Hugh Sheridan) did throughout the episode. Numb. It was all surreal and the producers and actors did an excellent job of portraying that. And Hugh was a standout.
It was uncomfortable to watch. I really wanted to give Ben a big hug.
From the trailer for the season finale next week it looks like the emotions are going to be running high again.
To recap, last week we had shock (albeit a predictable one as it went on), this week we had numbness, it looks like next week we're going to have an emotional explosion.

I wondered....

There's a line from what could be considered an obscure movie from 1994 called Threesome, which starred Lara Flynn Boyle, Josh Charles and Stephen Baldwin, that has always stuck with me.
It seems that the older you get the truer it gets.

'I wondered how some people can be such a necessary part of one's life one day, and simply vanish the next. Isn't it supposed to last?'

I always suspected it would be like that with certain people I've come across and that's generally pretty easy to accept. Things change, people change and people move on. We all do that. But some people also stick around.

Red

I'm sure there are a lot better movies out there at the moment than Red but for what it is, this movie is very enjoyable.

Red focuses on a bunch of retired CIA agents, principally Frank Moses (Bruce Willis) who are considered dangerous and are being hunted by the government.

He's struck up a relationship over the phone with Sarah (Mary Louise Parker) and, much to her surprise, arrives in her house and kidnaps her (to save her life) as he is being hunted and sees it as a threat to her.

It does take a little while to get going but from this point Red really hits its stride.

Moses tracks down his old comrades Joe (Morgan Freeman), Victoria (Helen Mirren) and Marvin (John Malkovich) and, as Joe says 'gets the band back together' to take on the current CIA led by William Cooper (Karl Urban).

There's a fair bit of entertainment going on here but you can't ignore Malkovich who completely steals the show as the paranoid 'everyone is out to kill me' Marvin, who we meet in very silly circumstances.

Malkovich has always been a classy actor and this performance is no exception. You just have to laugh every time you see him, whether it is from a wisecrack or just a look on his face.

Overall Red is pretty standard action/comedy with the twist that all the main characters are 'retired' and in Joe's case a rather unbelievable 80 years old.

But you're going to have fun. A 7 out of 10.

The Pros and Cons of Change

We all like to think that we can adapt to change when it happens, but sometimes I wonder when it comes to the really big changes.
Continuity and consistency is hugely under rated, I think.
But what happens when you wake up one day and realise that the comfortable little world you exist in is actually slowly suffocating you?
I reckon that when it comes to life's big changes I an horribly unprepared. Sure, it is hard to prepare for something that you don't know is coming but I think you know what I mean.
My reflexes tend to take a bit of time. When I hit a speed bump it can slow me down. There are times that I feel like a deer staring at the headlights, stunned, when something comes up.
Rarely do I take things in my stride. Minor things, changes of plan for example, are no issue at all.
We all like to think things will stay the same forever, particularly if life is just swimming along nicely. That is an incredibly naive outlook, though.
What if you actively want to change something? Initiating change is still a bit scary because even though you may desire something to be different once it is different how often do you want things back the way they were? I know that's happened to me a few times.
But if you don't do something how are you going to experience a whole bunch of wonderful things out there in the world?
Makes you think....

The Social Network

What is really ironic about The Social Network is how disconnected Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg) is when you consider he established a social networking website.
It's actually very unsettling, even from the first scene where he is dumped by his girlfriend and told girls won't like him ''not because you are a nerd, but because you are an asshole''.

Yes, The Social Network is the story of how Facebook came to be and as lame as that sounds on face value this is a really enthralling and entertaining movie.

Zuckerberg and his only friend Eduardo Saverin (Andrew Garfield) co-found the site after Zuckerberg, spurned by being dumped, unloads on his ex and decides to create a site that rates girls against other girls. This eventually morphs into an idea about a site where you can socialise.

Ths Social Network is essentially the story, told in flashbacks, of Zuckerberg being sued by Saverin and also by some Harvard boys who claim had the idea first and had it stolen from them.

The revelation of the movie is the performance of Justin Timberlake as Sean Parker, the man who established Napster and who befriends Zuckerberg and gets involved in Facebook, much to the disdain of Saverin. What the heck was he doing singing, this guy can act!

This is not a movie about Facebook, despite what appears on the surface.

This is a movie about friendship and betrayal. Zuckerberg is extremely annoying yet mesmerising, no doubt due to an amazing performance from Eisenberg. I sat there wondering how someone who has no idea what it means to be a friend came up with a site connecting people and made it work. He is an absolute jerk and you kind of want to punch him.

But at the same time you kind of feel sorry for him because he had a friend in Saverin who was there for him but totally couldn't see it. He could only see himself. It's actually kind of chilling. Plus I think he's too smart for his own good.

The Social Network is a high quality film and one worth at least another look. A solid 8.5 out of 10. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Buried

At a time when there are far too many remakes and sequels and no originality it is refreshing when a film like Buried comes along.

Having said that, its originality is the only refreshing thing about this tense, disturbing and harrowing thriller with only one person on screen for the entire 90 minutes.

Ryan Reynolds is Paul Conroy, a truck driver who has been working in Iraq who awakens bound, gagged and buried in a wooden box that is slightly longer than he is tall.

His memory of what happened to him is sketchy and time, aside from being buried in a box, is his biggest enemy.

All he has on him is a lighter, a flask and some anti-anxiety pills. Soon he discovers there is also a mobile phone in the box and he uses it to try to raise some help from the world above him. He soon also realises the phone is there for a reason.

The mood from the opening scene, which is black, is very tense and claustrophobic and the lighting is excellent, and largely very believable, considering the confined space.

Reynolds is brilliant, and he has to be, in carrying this movie. He's the only character in the film with the plot moved by voice actors as he makes contact with the phone.

Without going any further with the plot I'll say this is outstanding, it's so good to see something original even if it is uncomfortable to watch. In a way it reminds me of Moon from last year where Sam Rockwell is pretty much the only actor on screen for the whole film.

It just goes to show that risks can be taken with movies, it doesn't have to be all formula, 're-imagining' and sequels. This works through a tight script, a stunning performance and the fact that for the entire movie you're grateful you aren't in that box.

A 9 out of 10. Must-see - if you can stand it.

Circles

I've just been reading some things I wrote a few years ago now and it struck me how, for a large part, things are still the same.
Going around in circles again.
This has got to stop, I have got to find the right way to break the cycle.
I know all the theory, pretty well too, but I have (obviously) found it difficult to put into practice.
It's incredibly frustrating to know that after all this time I may only be a few steps forward from where I was, instead of miles ahead.

Things change

I've noticed a change in dynamic lately.
Whether I like it or not I'm not completely sure at the moment.
Some things remain the same.
Other things have changed.
More thought is required.

The Other Guys

I was really looking forward to seeing The Other Guys based on what looked a promising trailer.

While I'm not a fan of Will Ferrell, aside from his awesome turn in Stranger Than Fiction, I am partial to what Mark Wahlberg does and I was anticipating a witty action-comedy.

I didn't get one.

Sure there was action, especially brilliant early on with the ridiculous antics of hero cops Highsmith (Samdel L. Jackson) and Danson (Dwayne Johnson). But once the two police idols met an untimely, and pretty ridiculous, demise the comedy didn't really continue.
Ferrell plays forensic accountant and reluctant cop Allen Gamble while Wahlberg is his desperate-to-be-a-real-cop partner Terry Hoitz. Despite having all the skills of a competent cop, Hoitz's career stalled when he shot a pro baseballer, leaving him frustrated and eager to get his chance.

When Gamble stumbles upon a 'real case' involving a conman billionaire (Steve Coogan) and a plot to embezzle a fortune he brings Hoitz along for the ride.
The closer they get to some hard evidence the more reluctant their Captain (Michael Keaton) is to help them out as all sorts of heavyweights put pressure on him. The Captain also has an inexplicable habit of quoting TLC lyrics.

Anyway, it's all pretty much a shemozzle from there. You meet Gamble's wife (Eva Mendes), whom Hoitz slobbers all over and pretty much hits on in front of him, and find out that Gamble was once a pimp at college and that's why he such a straight lace these days.

There are some laughs, but it all seems disjointed and someone, I'm not sure which one, is miscast. It looks good on the trailer but I can't go higher than 5.5 out of 10.

Hiatus

Time for a break.
A week should be long enough.

Definitions

It occurred to me today that I've been working really hard to ensure others don't define me in a particular way and, in the process, have ended up defining myself in that way.
It's not helping.
It relates to something that has been an issue for the past five years and one that I have spent a while in denial about. I'm sure most people will know what I am talking about.
Those who don't we're not talking about orientations of any kind, in case you were thinking that.
So I discovered that by defining myself by this particular issue is a good part of what is holding me back, I'm sure of that.
How do I get around it?
Of course I have to stop looking at myself as a fragile, like glass if you will, and toughen up. Mentally as much as physically.
It's all easier said than done but a big part of making progress is defining what the problem is.

Salt

Dear Angelina,

I am so sorry but I can't give your action film Salt much of a rap as it lacked a little something that is important to a movie. Credibility.

Sure you played a CIA agent accused of being a Russian spy but it doesn't mean I'm going to buy a petite woman, trained as she may be, can overcome the entire secret service, the president's aides and her own company as well.

And still come away looking relatively hot.

I wanted so much to like what I was watching but my interest waned far too early for that. Sure, it was okay but really can't cut it when it comes to the genre.

Better luck next time, maybe the script's holes will be plugged up first.

Cheers.

As I said I really wanted to like Salt but after she went on the run, despite already checking my brain at the door, it kept losing me as the story went on and begun its twists (which were fairly predictable).

I read that Salt was originally meant to have a male lead and Tom Cruise was lined up to play the role. I can see him in this kind of movie but I reckon, given the derivative nature of most of his action films of late, Angelina couldn't have done any worse. Having said that she didn't make it a whole lot better.

A 6 out of 10. Just.

Curiosity

At what point should the past stay in the past?
Is it as simple as just leaving it there?
I've been tempted to contact someone from many years ago but know it's not such a good idea.
Needs to stay where it is.
A part of me is a bit curious, who wouldn't be.

Why

Simply an awesome song, this is Why by Rascal Flatts from the album Unstoppable.
Have a listen and try not to tear up, it's a pretty tough job to keep it in.


It must've been in a place so dark you couldn't feel the light
Reachin' for you through that stormy cloud
Now here we are gathered in our little hometown
This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd

Oh, why? That's what I keep askin'
Was there anything I could have said or done?
Oh, I had no clue you were masking
A troubled soul, God only knows what went wrong
And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song

Now in my mind I keep you frozen as a seventeen year old
Roundin' third to score the winning run
You always played with passion no matter what the game
When you took the stage, you shined just like the sun

Oh, why? That's what I keep askin'
And was there anything I could have said or done?
Oh, I had no clue you were masking
A troubled soul, oh, God only knows what went wrong
And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song

Now the oak trees are swayin' in the early autumn breeze
The golden sun is shining on my face
The tangled thoughts I hear a mockingbird sing
This old world really ain't that bad a place

Oh, why? There's no comprehending
And who am I to try to judge or explain?
Oh, but I do have one burning question
Who told you life wasn't worth the fight?
They were wrong, they lied, and now you're gone, and we cried
'Cause it's not like you to walk away in the middle of a song
Your beautiful song, your absolutely beautiful song

Where am I now?

One hand says don't second guess
Everything else has already done it
Again and again and again
You're a shot in the arm and a poison arrow
I'm lost in awe and wonder and overcompensation
Sometimes once is too much
Often it is far from enough
My direction has changed so often
In the mind, the heart, the soul, in other ways
It doesn't need to be raised
If I'm not in the game then where am I now
Standing on ground that is shaking
Need you to hold me firmly
Don't send me away
Arms wide open close around
It's warm and comforting but hard to explain
Where am I know if I'm not in the game?

Scott Pilgrim vs The World

There's so much going on in Scott Pilgrim vs The World it's hard to know where to start - like my friend Simon noted you almost need to have A.D.D. to watch it.
Or maybe be drunk.

That may be going a bit far since neither of us were affected by either issue while watching the film. That said, you've got to keep up with what's going on because it's so busy.

Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) is a 22-year-old bass player living in Toronto and dating (though they've never kissed or held hands) a high school girl Knives Chow (Ellen Wong).

Constant updates on the screen tell us all about Scott's friends and disposition. He lives with (and strangely shares a bed with) his gay best friend Wallace (Kieren Culkin), who seems to have a habit of turning Scott's sister's boyfriends.

Anyway, Scott meets the striking Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) and after an awkward conversation about the origins of Pac Man and an internet order they hang out.

Once it is established they are now dating, much to the dismay of Knives, Scott must fight Ramona's seven evil exes to win her heart, or something like that.

The exes are an eclectic bunch and include an actor (Chris Evans), a chick, a vegan with superpowers (Brandon Routh), twins and a grown up geek (Jason Schwartzman).

The only place where this movie falls down is they drag out the battles between Scott and the exes for far too long. We get the point early, it took away from a few far more interesting subplots having to get through the increasingly strange fights. It's a good thing, though, that Scott is an expert at video games since the fights don't seem to take into consideration the fact that Scott is a wiry deep with no obvious upper body strength yet he can defeat much more athletic opponents.

It's a very busy film but it is wonderfully weird, funny and innovative. It just goes on too long and that takes away from the brilliance. Good fun if you like the likes of Kick-Ass from earlier this year.
An 8 out of 10.

Kang vs Kodos

It doesn't really matter who we vote for tomorrow.
Call me overly cynical but do you see sunshine and rainbows if the Coalition is elected? Everything isn't going to become affordable all of a sudden, the boats (the biggest non-issue I've ever seen in an election campaign) aren't just going to stop and the economy isn't going to boom and interest rates aren't going to suddenly drop.
Same goes if the Government is re-elected.
Politicians are all the same - the party's self interest comes first, the people come last. That's why they get hundreds of thousands in pensions when they retire or are booted from parliament and everyone else gets pittance.
Any politician who says that it wrong should speak up and donate their pension to public works or reducing national debt or something else useful.
I bet you none of them do, though.
So in this election it's pretty much like the Simpsons episode where Kang and Kodos take over the bodies of Clinton and Dole and run for president. It doesn't matter who you vote for, you're screwed either way.

Preferred customer

Ever seen the Jim Carrey movie 'The Cable Guy'?
Not everyone's cup of tea, I don't know whether its the black comedy, but as a character he was very interesting.
Underneath everything he was just looking for a friend. OK, so his method was a little over the top and forceful but at the heart that was his simple quest.
He had a saying when it came to some of the people he 'hooked up' with free cable - he called them preferred customers. This was his way of saying he considered them special friends, in his own deluded way. He thought he could buy friendship.
Anyway, why the Cable Guy recap?
Lately I get the feeling that I'm not going to be a 'preferred customer'. As much as I try it just doesn't seem to happen.
I have some good friends, I'm not doubting that, but just when I think there's one that's out of the ordinary it hits a wall. I know I have issue with expecting too much at times but I really hadn't thought that was a problem.
It just gets harder.
Being a priority would be nice sometimes, not just being accommodated.
Maybe the Cable Guy character isn't so far fetched after all.