Where am I now?

One hand says don't second guess
Everything else has already done it
Again and again and again
You're a shot in the arm and a poison arrow
I'm lost in awe and wonder and overcompensation
Sometimes once is too much
Often it is far from enough
My direction has changed so often
In the mind, the heart, the soul, in other ways
It doesn't need to be raised
If I'm not in the game then where am I now
Standing on ground that is shaking
Need you to hold me firmly
Don't send me away
Arms wide open close around
It's warm and comforting but hard to explain
Where am I know if I'm not in the game?