Grinch

When it comes to Christmas, which scarily is just over a month away, at times I've been a bit grinchy.
I'm not sure why. I always loved Christmas.
So, I'm going to make a concerted effort to enjoy the festive time this year. Last year was my first Christmas I was able to spend with family for almost a decade as I've always had to work the next day and 500km of driving each way within 36 hours isn't appealing or safe at that time. There have also been other reasons.
Anyway, what's not to like about Christmas? It's all about fun, you get to watch one of the greatest films of all time (It's A Wonderful Life) and it's great to watch the kids enjoying their presents.
So while I still think Festivus is a great idea and one I will note I'd like to give Christmas a proper try this time.

Good as new

Aside from a bit of obvious landscaping still to be completed the house is finally finished.
It was an odd feeling staying there last weekend. The same address but a different house.
Essentially the house is the same dimensions but there are significant changes inside and it is much more modern - and much nicer.
The days of long hot summers and sleepless nights should be well and truly over in that house from now on with all the refurbishments.
Sleeping in my old room, well the new version of it, was also strange. It's slightly bigger than it used to be and has proper windows, the lounge room is big enough to incorporate a dining area and the kitchen is pretty schmick now too.
I'd been at my parents for many years about getting a new house and while I'm sure everyone didn't want to get it the way it happened, they are happy enough with the results. As I said there are a few little things to be finished and finalised but it looks good to me.

In other news

It's been a pretty big week but happily I have tomorrow off and am heading away for the weekend.
I had quite a nice lunch on Tuesday at Otto in Wooloomooloo, pretty swanky joint and I'd hate to think how much it cost. Whether it was worth it or not it was a media lunch so I didn't have to worry about that. Had some unpleasantness there but I'd rather not go into it, as it has passed.

Over the past few weeks I've had kind of a sore throat and I got it checked out a couple of days
ago. To my surprise I found out I have ulcers in the throat and have to go on antibiotics. Hopefully they will clear up without much trouble.

My parents have moved into their `new' house and I'm told it is a bit weird to be back at the old address in the new house. It's been more than a year since the fire so I can understand how strange it must be. It will be odd going there and it not being the same house.

Recap

A lot has happened in the past week and a half, mostly positive, a few challenges and maybe a lesson or two.

Starting at the start, last week I was thrust into the position of acting editor.

I guess they don't call it a baptism of fire for nothing. With little experience in the everyday (and more crucially the deadline day) running everything fell onto me for a week while the boss was away. You see we have had cutbacks, as most workplaces have, and that has left us a lot shorter than we are used to - particularly when someone is on holidays.

One advantage I had was that I paid a bit of attention to what was going on over the past couple of years when it came to how the paper is operated. So at least I had some idea. But when the boss neglects to tell you a few things here and there it can leave you on the hop a bit.

Fortunately it all went pretty smoothly. I was busy, for sure, and it seemed that any time I tried to get something done the phone would ring and I'd have to deal with something.

What I learned was that I'm not ready for that responsibility just yet but that I can handle it. That was the only issue as I approached the week. I wasn't sure if I could pull it off.

By the end of the week I was a bit drained but otherwise fine. I took the attitude that I wasn't going to let anything stress me out too much, I wasn't going to panic if something went wrong. It was a good plan but one that ultimately went untested.

After a cruisy Friday night I went to a bucks party (that's most of the crew in the photo) at the Lowenbrau in the Rocks. For those who don't know it is a German theme restaurant and beer house and the scene for many a bucks party over the years I'm sure.

Whether the night actually counts as a bucks night is debatable being a second marriage but we thought we'd kidnap the guy and treat him to a night out.

Largely it was a good one. After several hours there we pressed on in search of something that was ultimately unattainable - a live band.

This meant wandering around the Rocks for a while then onto Surry Hills where we traipsed around the streets frustratingly and came up empty handed.

We then crammed six people into my car and drove to Botany to a 24-hour pub where we played a bit of pool and put old songs on the video jukebox until about 2am.

Then I drove most of them home with all sorts of antics going on. I was breath tested on the way home. I always find this amusing. One time when asked how long since my last drink I replied `about three years'. This time I was more restrained. While I was never in danger there were a good dozen cars pulled over whose drivers had obviously exceeded the limit.

It had to be the latest night I've had for a long time. I was able to sleep in until about 9 in the morning but it takes an effect.

On other topics, later that day my sister and nephew dropped around for a while. I had to postpone a catch-up with a new friend that I was looking forward to, hopefully that will happen this weekend. It's great when you meet someone new and kinda click.

I'm almost finished reading The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn (will review upon completion) and have bought A Midsummer Night's Dream for my next read.

Yeah, I'm going for a bit of culture in my reading at the moment.

Things that matter, things that don't

This week promises to be a strange one, possibly an emotional one, but hopefully a good one.
In a couple of days I have to go out of town for a funeral and I can't say I am looking forward to it (you never look forward to these things but I think you know what I mean).
It's going to be one of those occasions where a lot of family will gather and most of whom I haven't seen in years for various reasons. It has been a bit of a bad run with losing people lately and that is weighing on the mind a little.
Someone said to me the other day that when this happens it is a `reality check' and that is true. But it is a pretty dramatic way to shake you up and make you remember how valuable life is.
I honestly don't know how I feel about the coming trip. It isn't like I'm going to a town I've never been to before (though it has been a while) and I reckon if I can handle going to Melbourne where I don't know anybody I can handle this. Maybe I am just over thinking things.
There is a song I have been listening to called Things That Matter, by Rascal Flatts, and it has really struck a chord with me in the light of what has been happening.
We spend so much time and energy worrying about trivial things like work politics, traffic, delays and the like when what really matters is people and relationships. I'm more guilty than most of worrying about things that are out of my control and I know that I should expend more energy living rather than being afraid of life.

Rebuilding

Almost a year after it burned down the old house is starting to look like a house again.

It's supposed to be finished by July and that may happen, weather permitting, if the speed of the rebuilding I saw last week continues.

I spent almost a week up home and in that time the house went from just having the base to having its frame erected.

Overall I had quite a good time while I was away. Caught up with a few friends, both of whom are not far off having children (it's easier for one as he, obviously, doesn't have to carry the child).

For some reason I had some kind of hay fever or allergic reaction to something up there, which is weird because I never used to. But for the last few days I couldn't stop sneezing, well you know what I mean.

I also had to attend a funeral, which is never a good thing. I met a lot of family I hadn't seen in many years, most since I was a teenager at best. So you get the whole `I remember when you were `this big'' reactions.

Body balance

Most of us aren't used to stretching in ways illustrated by pilates and the like.
Tonight I attended a class called body balance, which was a mixture of pilates, yoga and stretching but with also an emphasis on relaxation.
I must admit I was rather negative about it before tonight, having been pestered into going, but I have to say that it was pretty great.
That's despite being a rank amateur. I'm sure I stood right out in my red shirt (won't be going so bright next time) and with my occasionally uncoordinated movement.
I also sweated heaps so that probably means it was doing some good. Afterwards I certainly polished off a bottle of water fairly nicely!
It's now a few hours since the class finished and I feel fairly good, though the body knows it's been through a workout.
So it was a pleasant surprise.
On a sad note, my dad's aunt died yesterday of cancer. It's amazing how quickly it has happened.
I remember seeing her at Christmas and she was pretty good, in fact I don't think it was known then that she had it. She was a lovely lady, she used to live next door to my grandmother and was quite an active person.
I do know she was a fairly strong churchgoer and that's great.

Paying respects

I was told a short time ago that my uncle Barry, who is one of my mum's older brothers, died today.
It would be a good three years at least since I saw him but I have to say he was a very good man who for many years ran a boarding home for aboriginal children.
As far as I know he wasn't sick with anything we knew about so it's obviously been sudden. It looks like my mum won't be able to go to the funeral as she has been in hospital recovering from a hernia operation.
I hope she handles it reasonably well. I don't really know what to think about it, I know that sounds really bad. It's naturally very sad and I hope my aunt and cousins hold up.

Construction

I had a call this morning from my rather excited mum to tell me work has commenced on building a new house.
Given the old one was only demolished a couple of weeks back this movement is encouraging and perhaps they will be able to move back in around July. Given holds up that can happen with weather and such perhaps August might be more realistic.
On another topic, I had a visit to a chiropractor today for the first time and it seems, no surprise to me mind you, that there are some posture created issues that are causing discomfort. So I was sent off for some X-rays which were done straight away (one of the great things about a metro city) and hopefully there will be progress next week.

Demolition

It's hard to believe it has been about nine months since the family house burned down but now there is progress on the site.
Demolition crews arrived on Thursday and the old house is no more, making way for a new one to be built. My mum was a bit sad about the place coming down, myself I'm not so attached, but I did point out that it was a worse day when it burned.
Also, I think they will benefit greatly from having something a bit more modern and something they can build to suit them now.
They're telling us that July is the time the new house will be finished.
You'd probably have to allow another month or so for weather interruptions but it will be interesting to see what it looks like when complete.
The pictures are a before and after of the demolition.
Well, sort of a shortly after starting the job (I thought the ominous positioning of the bulldozer was a good effect) and pretty much done shots.

Be still

Somewhat inspired by driving past my previous church a few days ago I decided to actually go to church on Sunday near my place.
I'd been there a few times before so I wasn't a complete stranger and had a friend who goes there to meet up with. The service still takes getting used to but the style is accessible and that's great if you're not a regular.
A couple of things struck me from the sermon and the general feel of the meeting.
The first was about being still on the inside. I found this very interesting and relevant because a lot of the time I don't feel that there is stillness underneath me.
The second was about growth, personal growth through spiritual growth.
So I guess it was timely making a visit to that church. You get the feeling you've heard messages that you needed to hear, or that God was wanting you to hear.
I haven't made a firm commitment to go back straight away but I possibly will soon. I don't get the feeling that this church is suitable long term but that's not something you can know after one visit.
I settled on my next trip to Melbourne and that's taking place in a couple of weeks. Looking forward to it again and this time around I am going to keep my long term well being in mind and make sure I don't overdo it like last time. Not saying I didn't enjoy last time but it definitely contributed to some unpleasantness last week.
The other thing worth mentioning is that my parents' new house will be built shortly and they expect to move back in mid-year.

Christmas recap

It's been a few days and I largely stayed away from email and other computer technology for them. Now to get up to speed.
On Wednesday after a rather short day of work and several hours of doing not much I flew home for Christmas, the first time I'd been there for eight years as I've normally had to work Boxing Day which rules out any visits.
I had some trepidation about the flight and to some the reason would be obvious. I wasn't nervous about flying as such as I have done that a number of times before including once to the USA. Anyway the flight went without any hitches and was only a 40 minute trip in the air anyway.
The whole unwrapping presents ordeal takes on a different meaning when there is a child involved and with an eager seven-year-old distributing presents at record pace it was quite a blur. For the record I received Mad About You season 2 and It's A Wonderful Life on DVD, the book Eclipse (from the Twilight series), a bathrobe, a business shirt and some casual clothes.
We had Christmas lunch at my aunt's place as is the norm and after eating settled in for some serious Singstar sessions including the classics How To Save A Life by The Fray and Alone by Heart duly butchered by myself.
The other couple of days away were your standard and were taken up a lot by watching the horse racing, cricket and my nephew tormenting the cats.
The drive back to Sydney was uneventful except for the consistent and not as annoying as I thought it would be inquiries of essentially `are we there yet' from the back seat. The young guy is staying in town for a couple of weeks with his dad before going back home.
So there's an abridged version of the last few days. A good Christmas, a milestone achieved and a reasonably relaxing time. Hope yours was good too.

The spare wheel

So it is 10 days until Christmas and I have managed to avoid that fact for the most part of the month despite the tree going up at work a day after the Melbourne Cup.
I don't know what happened with me and Christmas.
As a kid you always love the anticipation of the presents and the magic of the time and as you get older it takes on a different meaning. You start to realise that, aside from the important celebration of the birth of Jesus, Christmas is about joy and family (whatever your definition of family is).
In the past decade I have had little of either of those things at this time of year. I've never disliked Christmas but I have always felt a bit on the outer. Work kept me from travelling home many times and a couple of times health got in the way. So after being ditched by my uncle I started having Christmas with my housemate's family. I always felt like the spare wheel.
Likely it is something in me stopping me from getting into the spirit. I've never liked being the one who is invited somewhere `because you have nowhere to go at Christmas'. I always appreciated the offer but felt awkward.
So over time I kind of ignored Christmas and treated it like any other day. I'm going to try not to ignore it this year, I feel I need to drag myself out of that way of thinking. Instead of enjoying spending time with people I do care about I have at times ended up feeling sorry for myself - why am I alone at Christmas, why is there no family, no wife or girlfriend etc etc.
That I think is a whole different story.
So I am giving it a go because I truly love Christmas and everything (non commercial) that it represents. I've even hired It's A Wonderful Life to watch this week.

Tonight I watched The Bucket List, finally, and am happy to report that it is enjoyable and thought provoking. Jack plays Jack and Morgan plays Morgan pretty much but neither are bad things but it does leave an impression.

Debrief

I noticed a lot of things when I was home over the last few days about my family and the town.
One thing that is great about rural towns is that when there is a crisis people jump out of trees to help out. That's certainly what happened when our house burned down last Thursday week.
I arrived a week after it happened and people were still approaching my parents offering help in various ways, just amazing to watch.
In a way I wasn't surprised as they are reasonably well known through a few different avenues.
Still, it was great to see and it really does give your faith in people a boost.
I can't imagine how it was for my family who had around one minute to get out of the house or put themselves at massive risk.
Dad handles it by joking about it which I don't think is that great, Mum's more visibly affected an she has become quite touchy about power points being turned off at night.
My sister has, more than anyone else, taken the loss of things harder than the others from what I've seen. She was more attached to photos and other items. My nephew is a bit jumpy about fires which isn't surprising. We were walking to the shop last night and when he saw smoke coming out of a chimney he started calling out about a fire in that house.
As far as I'm concerned, I still don't really know how I feel about it. It was surreal walking through the house and seeing it as basically a shell.
Unsettling is the best way to describe it I guess. I haven't lived there for more than a decade but I guess it was always home. However, as time went on after I left home all that time ago I liked going there less and less as the house appeared to age and became less comfortable to live in. Even to the stage where from a few years ago I was telling mum and dad that they needed to upgrade their living situation. From then I guess I became more detached from the house.
If there is a good thing to come out of it then it is that my parents will be able to build a more modern and more livable home.
The house is being demolished in the next week but I reckon it will be Christmas at least before they have a new house. In the meantime they are living in a rented property which isn't bad but they don't see it in the same way.
I was trying to tell them that a home is not a house it is the people, but perhaps it's still a bit too soon for that. And perhaps it is a lot easier for me to see it from that perspective right now.

Gone in 45 seconds

I took these pictures back home of my parents' house, the one I grew up in. It took just around 45 seconds for the fire to take hold and rip around the house. Scary, and I wasn't even there.

The first is obviously the front, the second is the back verandah and the third is my old room.

Visual imminent

Tomorrow I am off back home for a few days and it is going to be a strange trip.
The fire notwithstanding just seeing the place after being told about it is going to be a experience. I don't know how I feel about it exactly but the fact I have felt a bit off now and then over the last few days is a good indication of how I feel about it.
The good news is that everyone is in a new house for the time being so this trip will be going home without really going home.
See what I mean, kinda strange. Hopefully once I see it and everyone things can settle back down again.

The pool guy

For the first time in at least half my life I went `lap' swimming tonight.
It was actually a very good time though I only did six laps (hey, when you haven't done something like that in years and years you don't do 50 straight up!) it was a good experience.
I swum in an outdoor heated pool and it was a very pleasant experience. After being pestered for weeks to try it I am glad I did, and since I bought a pair of goggles I'd say I will be going back.

In other news, it appears there won't be a lot left from inside the house though my family isn't yet allowed to enter the shell yet as it is considered dangerous. Apparently there was an appeal on the radio at home today and people came from everywhere to help out which is great and I think a little overwhelming for mum and dad.
Someone even offered to let them stay in an empty house they own. Not sure what the long term situation is other than they intend to rebuild but those decisions won't be made until next week. Personally I have been a little shaken today but in a weird way, I still don't know how I feel about it all just yet. Maybe that will come when I see it.

It's all a bit surreal

Fairly normal Thursday night then I get a phone call.
My mum doesn't usually call me on the mobile so it was strange to hear her, then she says the house had burned down.
I still don't know what to think, obviously it is a bad thing, but I don't know the extent of it. Following the initial disbelief the term `burned down' doesn't mean the house was completely gutted but it may be safe to say a good portion of it has been significantly damaged.
The good news is that everyone got out in time and no-one was injured at all. Thank God it didn't happen while they were asleep.
So the house I grew up in is effectively no longer. I'm not sure how I feel about that, on one hand I spent 19 years or the best part of living there and on the other I've been telling my parents for several years they needed to upgrade.
So now they will have no choice. I really didn't want it to happen that way and at this point I don't know what possessions can be salvaged, if any.
Like I said it is all a bit surreal and hard to fathom from 500km away.

The digital age

It's been great getting out of Sydney for a while but now I'm back, still with a couple of weeks holidays up my sleeve.
Among the things I got up to was, wait for it, attending a 6-year-old's birthday party. And I can safely say I don't want to be in a room with that many kids for a while. It's quite amazing how much noise they can make. Perhaps I'm just getting old.
Speaking of getting older, I was given a digital camera for my birthday (which is not for a few days yet) by the family. So I have been dragged further into the digital age but at least it allows me to post photos that I take and such.
I took a few good ones of the nephew (who was rather naughty while I was home) which I am happy with and since it has been about 3 years between new photos it is a long time coming.
Now I'm into the third week of my break I think I have begun to relax properly and that's awesome. With Easter coming up and of course the dreaded GST birthday (that's 33 for those who don't know: 30 plus 10 per cent) coming up, roughly at the same time, the week ahead should be a good one.

Die Hard and other random things

After almost 20 years I have finally seen Die Hard, yes the original action film starring Bruce Willis that has been sequalised three times (and funnily enough I have seen the three subsequent films).
And I've got to say it holds up pretty well despite being a product of the tragic late 1980s. That's largely due to Willis and Alan Rickman's character (he's a seriously under-rated actor).
So I enjoyed it and that blight on my movie credibility is now gone.

I was given the first series of The Chaser's War On Everything on DVD for Christmas by the family (yes I know Christmas is another 12 days away but I won't be there for it) and it is a very welcome addition to the collection. I haven't seen most of the first series as I only discovered the show on repeats earlier this year. The Brokeback Mountain - Christian Edition and Twenty20 Lawn Bowls were some early highlights and I'm sure there will be more.

My week off has flown by and it has been a good one. Caught up with a good mate I hadn't seen for a while on Monday, which was nice, and discovered he's planning to be part of a short term mission to Cambodia next year.

I bought the book Into The Wild, which the film I saw recently (and loved, reviewed further down the page) is based on. Have just started it so can't make any further comments yet. If you haven't seen the film, you're missing out on one of the year's best.

Plenty of festivities happening this weekend, hope there are enough hours in the days....