Resolution

I rarely make New Years resolutions but I think that it is important that I start 2012 in the right way and make an effort to change a few things.
I have alluded to this already.
My resolution is to give up all forms of gambling, be they racehorses, machines etc, until Golden Slipper Day which is Easter Saturday this year in early April.
I think three months is a good starting point. It will allow me to save a bit of money and get back onto the right trajectory financially.
When I say save money, obviously gambling has its risks and lately I haven't been very sensible with my gambling. Hence the urge to stop and shake off the reckless spending.
I hope to save quite a deal of money in 2012 and I have even drawn up a budget to help me work out where my money is going.
I have to finalise that in the next couple of days.
I also need to find a couple of extra activities to take the focus off the gambling which is important because of my job.
So, here's to a 2012 that will see plenty of positive growth.

We Bought A Zoo

I guess the title takes away any need to guess what the movie We Bought A Zoo is about!
Matt Damon plays widower Benjamin Mee, a man struggling to move on from the death of his wife and raise their two children Dylan (Colin Ford) and Rosie (Maggie Elizabeth Jones).
Looking for a new start, Mee searches for a suitable new residence and the one house that speaks to him happens to be attached to a zoo.
If he buys the house he buys the zoo and the responsibility for reopening it - and against the advice of his brother Duncan (Thomas Haden Church) he takes the leap.
The zoo has its own motley crew of employees led by the beautiful Kelly Foster (Scarlett Johannson), who isn't entirely certain that Benjamin knows what he has got himself into.
In the wrong hands this could have been a depressing movie - Damon's character spends a lot of time grieving (though not obviously a lot of the time) over his wife - but there's plenty of optimism there as well. His relationship with his two children is a focus and they are very different connections, as you'd expect when one is a teenage boy and the other is an innocent seven-year-old girl who, SPOILER, still believes in the Easter Bunny.
What We Bought A Zoo does right is in the chemistry the characters have with each other, and that includes the animals - the 17-year-old tiger Spar is a major player in the film.
It's a strong cast, Matt Damon playing a father of a teenager makes you feel a bit old, and with Scarlett in there as well there's the added glow she contributes to her movies as well. Seriously, her character is quite sweet.
It's not a drop everything and rush to the cinema type of movie, but it is well done, has an appealing cast and a poignant story. A 7.5 out of 10.

The Adventures of Tintin

Having not been a follower as a younger person I approached The Adventures of Tintin with a fair deal of optimism based on some good reviews and the impression from the trailer.
With Steven Spielberg as the major driving force behind it there was never really any concern and I'd certainly recommend Tintin to those who like a bit of fun and adventure.
Tintin (Jamie Bell) is a journalist who stumbles upon a rare model of a pirate ship called the Unicorn and soon discovers there is a secret behind it as several shady characters seek to purchase, then steal, it from him.
With his trusty dog Snowy (easily the coolest animated dog since Gromit) by his side Tintin follows the trail via all kinds of unlikely means and that leads him to Captain Haddock (Andy Serkis), the lone descendant of the captain of the Unicorn.
Of course there are bad guys. Mr. Rackham (Daniel Craig) will stop at nothing to get his hands on all three models to unlock the secret of the Unicorn and, as we find out, settle a personal score.
Aside from the almost faultless animation, Spielberg has given us a very accessible and entertaining couple of hours and in doing so established a viable series. It's filled with mystery, adventure and comedy and the irresistible Snowy steals a lot of the scenes.
I saw a 2D session, mainly because I think 3D is over rated and has rarely added to the cinematic experience.
I saw this with my 10 year old nephew and he enjoyed it and didn't seem to be over his head at all. So that's a positive and I wouldn't hesitate in taking a youngster to see it. An 8 out of 10.

Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol

I tend to just brush over Tom Cruise movies these days. I can't say exactly why but he just doesn't seem to do it for me anymore, for want of a better way of putting it.
After butchering the talents of Philip Seymour Hoffman in MI3 I did approach Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (don't know why they couldn't have just called it MI4) with a little bit of caution.
Happily, Tom Cruise delivered here going back to the role of super spy Ethan Hunt. What makes him likable is that he doesn't seem to take himself too seriously and seems like he's having a bit of fun.
With movies like the Bourne series and the new James Bond movies surpassing what Cruise did in the first two films, therefore making his effort in the third one look ordinary, he has definitely paid attention and the writers have gone all out to try and at least match those films.
A solid support cast helps and plenty of 'no-way' action scenes (the one on the Burj in Dubai comes to mind) make MI4 quite entertaining.
When the IMF is closed down by the US president Hunt and his team are forced to go rogue to stop a terrorist called Hendricks (Michael Niqvist from the Swedish Dragon Tattoo series) the gathers his small team and travels the globe to fulfil their mission. The team consists of a long time tech-turned agent Benji (Simon Pegg), who provides a lot of the comic relief, and agents Jane (Paula Patton) and Brandt (the excellent Jeremy Renner).
There are a number of spectacular scenes - the aforementioned Burj scene, the sandstorm chase is pretty cool if completely unbelievable, the Kremlin blowing up... to name a few.
I'd have to say even if you have cooled on Tom Cruise in the past few years but enjoyed the original couple of movies then you'll be in for a treat. A 7 out of 10.

Jack and Jill

If I needed convincing that Adam Sandler's laugh out loud comedy days are over then Jack and Jill pretty much sealed it.
It's not that there isn't the odd laugh here and there, it's more that Sandler is still pumping out the same comedy now that he was in the 90s and it is simply not funny any more.
His latest retread sees him play twins Jack and Jill Sadelstein. Yep, he's going drag.
Jack is a family man with a wife and two children and he works, successfully, in advertising. In short, he has it all.
But his blissful life is interrupted on a yearly basis when his twin sister Jill visits for the holidays and always overstays her welcome.
Playing both characters is fair enough but Sandler really doesn't try being even a little feminine when it comes to being Jill.
After a series of embarrassing mishaps Jack invites Jill to the basketball where he has courtside seats and is trying to convince Al Pacino to appear in a commercial for him. Probably the highlight of the movie, the cameo of Johnny Depp, comes in the basketball scene.
Somehow Pacino is taken by Jill and relentlessly pursues her. Jack tries to seize the opportunity to secure his services for the commercial and goes to many lengths to seal the deal.
You can't help but shake your head and wonder why Al Pacino chose to be in this movie, as himself - this is no Being John Malkovich. He comes off looking pretty ordinary, which is a shame.
I need go no further. Sandler's comedies are now on the refuse list until he produces something that gets rave reviews. I just can't believe this is the same guy that produced a stunning performance in Reign Over Me a few years ago. It's not funny and I'd be steering clear of this one unless you really, really must see it.
A 4 out of 10.

The first step

OK, so I have a problem.
It started fairly innocently really. I was at my aunt's funeral a couple of years ago and dad gave me $50 to have a few bets on the horses.
After looking over the race fields I decided to head to the poker machine (or slot machine for anyone in the USA) area and spend it there. Guess what? I ended up with about $150.
They don't call it beginner's luck for nothing.
Technically, I wasn't a beginner. When I turned 18 I decided it was something of a rite of passage if I played the machines - so I invested $20 and played for a while and wound up collecting $20. Harmless, really.
Somehow after that experience in Orange I started to play the machines a bit more. I'd put in $20 here or there. Again, harmless fun if I lost.
Over time it grew to putting in $50 at the start and increasing the wager. I've never gone higher than that as a starting point but quite often I haven't stopped at that initial outlay.
Somewhere in the human brain is a switch that seems to stop the common sense part of your mind and allows you to think that you can win your money back and then some. Even though you know that at best it comes down to random luck and at worst it is geared towards you losing, you still think that.
I don't know how else to explain it. I know you can't win in the long run. The short term you can get some wins but you're kidding yourself if you think it can be sustained.
Out of nothing this habit has become a problem. I vow that it won't have any further negative effect on me, it's not fun and I can see that it has the potential to grow into a bigger problem.
Why bet on pure chance with a machine when it is designed for you to lose? I've spent most of my professional life working in the horse racing industry and I know all about risk. With the horses there are factors that can eliminate certain outcomes, with the machines you have no control - it's all down to pure chance and, as they say in casinos, the house always wins.
So I have taken the first step - this is a problem that can be fixed.
Stick with what you know and back yourself, not a machine.
I must be strong in keeping myself in line and then what has become a bad habit can return to something that I tried once and moved on, once again.
Why is it, though, that a habit (particularly a bad one) is so easy to start but so difficult to finish?

The Ides Of March

If there is an actor who is at the top of him game at the moment it is Ryan Gosling and he serves up another stunning performance in political drama The Ides Of March .
Gosling plays Stephen Meyes, the brains behind the presidential candidate Mike Morris (George Clooney). He's a relative newcomer to the cut throat world of politics.
This is seen pretty early when we meet the campaign managers for the two democratic candidates - Paul Zara (Phillip Seymour Hoffman) and Tom Duffy (Paul Giamatti) - who are both more than experienced at playing the game.
Both know Meyers is good but they are also aware he's a bit wet behind the ears and make use of reporter Ida Horowicz (Marisa Tomei) to prove the point.
It's a bit of who is playing who as each tries to outmaneuver each other.
The pressure is well and truly put on Meyers when he discovers a scandal involving intern Molly (Evan Rachel Wood) that could easily end the campaign for Morris.
Gosling really stands out here and that's a bit of a call considering the company he is in - Giamatti and Hoffman are outstanding actors - and coupled with his performances in Drive and Lars And The Real Girl a couple of years back he's a star well and truly on the rise.
(I also have to confess to a bit of a man crush here too!!)
As far as the overall film goes there are probably better political dramas or thrillers out there but The Ides Of March is well worth a look. There are a few, I wouldn't call them twists, interesting turns and you have to wonder if there really are any winners.
I enjoyed it, and with such a great cast it would be disappointing if I didn't. 8 out of 10 and I'd expect there has to be an Oscar nomination for Gosling coming up pretty soon.

The Inbetweeners Movie

I must admit I had never heard of The Inbetweeners before this movie came along and in some ways that may have helped. I didn't really know what to expect.
So called because they sit in between the cool people and the freaks in the high school pecking order and are left to awkwardly pursue life with that role.
The best comparison that can be given, as far as the film's standing goes, is it is like a British American Pie (quite appropriately the trailer to the new American Pie film, Reunion, was shown in my screening). But be warned as this makes the AP films look PG-rated.
Our four hapless heroes are Jay (James Buckley), Neil (Blake Harrison), Simon (Joe Thomas) and Will (Simon Bird) who take off after graduating for a schoolies-type holiday in Greece. As you do.
Their plan, or maybe Jay's, is for them to basically get as much action as physically possible.
Looking at them you can guess how that is going to go, at least in the short term.
I had no real prior knowledge of the characters from the TV series but I thought Will was a particularly well rounded character and was played with plenty of humility by Simon Bird. He's basically the narrator and despite having possibly the best in the physical stature of the quartet is very much self deprecating when it comes to girls.
I do have to say that there is very little left to the imagination as we go through the movie. There is plenty of coarse language, plenty of nudity (strangely mainly male) and at times it can be seen as quite offensive. But it depends on what you expect and how you take it.
Personally, I haven't seen a funnier movie in quite a while. Sure, it was inappropriate and crass and at times very juvenile but I couldn't help but chuckle just about the whole way though, with several really, really funny moments.
Not for the prudish in any way, The Inbetweeners Movie is very good fun. A 7.5 out of 10.

I won't give a full review of Immortals (3D) but it now holds a new record low score for a movie since I've been keeping scores. A 2 out of 10. If you've got nothing better to do then knock yourself out but if you must see it Mickey Rourke isn't a bad villain and the lead guy, who will be the next Superman, is good in his role but they all had nothing to work with. Avoid.

The hollow man

In the middle of everything that is going on in the world something occurred to me recently that in some way shocked me and in another way came as no surprise.
I can't feel anything.
No, I haven't been suddenly struck numb. I haven't lost my sense of touch but I think my inner sense of feeling has been eroded.
When it comes to myself I can feel all things. When it comes to external things it seems all I can come up with is what amounts to 'meh'. I know when something that is supposed to elicit some kind of emotion happens I can acknowledge it but am rarely physically affected.
It's almost like I've been desensitised to anything outside my existence. It's also a very scary thought.
The best way to describe it is kind of a hollow feeling.
I've discovered this, I guess, through a number of pretty hollow pursuits over the past few months. Among other things.
As I sit here and type I can feel all manner of things going on inside me, some I have become accustomed to and some I am perennially tortured by, but when it comes to the mind and the heart they are seemingly indifferent.
No small part of this has to be a result of a number of years on anti-depressants. These little white pills are very effective is getting you down to a moderate level and keeping you there. But that's the trouble, you're in this seemingly endless pattern of no real highs and no real big lows and it is really ticking me off.
I have tried a couple of times to taper off them but so far they have won. Seemingly I struggle when I reach a certain level and just can't seem to get beyond it.
If one thing is for sure - I don't want to be hollow.

Breaking Dawn part 1

So we're into the final book of the Twilight Saga and it's definitely the one which was going to be the trickiest to translate to a movie.
Breaking Dawn part 1 rejoins the story as Bella and Edward prepare for their wedding.
A lot of time is spent setting up part 2 as we meet a number of friends of the Cullen family who will play a role in the conclusion to the story next year.
The wedding does take up a bit more time that it probably should and we get the warning from Jacob that once she is married Bella will become the enemy. Bella tells Jacob that nothing will change and she isn't planning on becoming a vampire for at least a year.
Things change quickly once the newlyweds reach their honeymoon destination, Isle Esme somewhere off Rio de Janiero. After being warned that consummating the marriage would kill Bella they eventually give it a go, with a few somewhat hilarious scenes.
As the trailer to the movie has given away - and I think they made a mistake there for people who hadn't read the book - Bella miraculously falls pregnant and the baby is a fast grower.
They return to Forks to try and work out what it is that is growing inside her and what threat it might pose. When the wolves decide that the baby poses a threat it forces Jacob to choose between the wolves and the Cullens.
The point in which they split the book was predictable to those who have read it and pretty satisfying really. There is also an extra scene midway through the credits which gives us some direction for the finale.
Look, the Twilight series isn't high art and it has been made with the fans of the series in mind and on that score it is very well done. Like all the other ones there are flaws but with the knowledge of the books you don't notice so much.
A 7.5 out of 10 and hoping that the finale is a 9!

Secret Codes and Battleships

Let me start by saying that this is, without any doubt at all, THE album of 2011.
Being a long time Darren Hayes/Savage Garden fan I was always going to get his new album Secret Codes and Battleships but, to my surprise, it blew me away. Easily the best thing he's done since Savage Garden (though he has made some very good music) and every bit as good as SG's debut album (but just below Affirmation).
Somehow Hayes has managed to find the balance between the slightly electric pop he has been dabbling in and classic SG-style pop - and it works to an extent that all 12 songs on the album proper are brilliant.
It's a rare thing that you can get a CD and not need to skip tracks, happily listening to it from track one to the end. I've done that a lot in the couple of weeks since I bought it.
Standouts? Well, I keep coming back to the opening track Taken By The Sea, closely followed by Hurt, Roses (where he seems to make reference to his 'previous' life and divorce) and Stupid Mistake.
The two songs most talked about are Black Out The Sun, which he originally wrote for Leona Lewis but thankfully kept for himself, and Bloodstained Heart. The latter is quite a stunning song.
I'd say the lead single Talk Talk Talk is probably the weakest of the 12 but I still listen to it without any problem.
Unfortunately, this album is likely to be largely ignored by the music buying public who are more interested in inane, trashy pop by the likes of Lady Gaga and her contemporaries but, take it from me, this is a cut or two or three above that. This is first class, intelligent, modern pop with a hint of a throwback to the Savage Garden days.
As I noted as the start - best album of the year, easily. Well done Darren.

Regression

If there is one thing I don't want it is to go backwards.
Without question I have come a long way in the past few years but what seems clear is that my reaction to certain things seems to be the same.
Or at least very close to the same, the over reaction that allows my mind to run away with itself before considering more logical explanations.
I know I have learned a lot, not only about myself but also practical things that can be used in situations where over reaction is possible. I have pushed myself, tried things I had been afraid to try before and travelled when only a few years ago I had very narrow boundaries.
In some of these things I have gained the confidence to continue - but there were a few moments last Friday where I admit I thought I could be back at square one.
Not only was that a scary thought at the time the prospect of going back there is, quite frankly, haunting. But as I said previously, I am tired of being afraid.

Half living

'A life lived in fear is a life half lived'.

It's a quote from the movie Strictly Ballroom, a classic film in its own right and a line that could not be any truer.
Particularly for me.
I am tired of living in fear. It's easy to say that you should just not be afraid any more but that is far too simplistic.
What am I afraid of? That is something that is hard to define - I am afraid of losing my freedom, that my health scare of six years ago now is just waiting to come back and get me.
I had a startling reminder of this a few days back.
I thought I had passed blood in the bathroom and I kinda went cold and numb for a second at the thought of it and what it would mean.
Long story short it wasn't blood but jam that had been discarded in the bowl and had not flushed completely away. It was a massive relief to say the least but the feeling has stuck with me to an extent.
It was an illustration that what happened there is a possibility, though not a likelihood at this stage, that it could one day be a reality.
A bout of what I think was food poisoning a day earlier didn't help, either.
I fell back to old habits, thinking that if it were real then there were all these things I had planned that I wouldn't be able to do - things I had been looking forward to.
Anyway, I will get a clearer picture on where all that stands at the end of the month when I have my about 2-yearly look through assessing my inner health - you know what I mean.
Now the last two of those have been excellent and, really, there is no reason why I should think that this time will be any different. I could get picky about a couple of small things but, largely, I am doing pretty well.
Having committed myself to go to the gym as much as possible is also helping and I have noticed some differences. Hopefully as my physical body strengthens my mind can as well.
I often think it is funny that what scares me are things from within and not external things. It's almost like my phobia about magpies.
But that's another story.
I have taken some rather large steps this year and another one will be taken later this month, an achievement that I thought impossible a few years ago is now something I am looking forward to with some vigor.

Drive

Here's a film that isn't for everyone but stands right out among a lot of the generic Hollywood films that are pumped out every year.
Drive is not your average movie. And Ryan Gosling puts in a performance that you don't see too often either.
What makes Drive so different is that it requires the viewer to do a bit of work, it doesn't lay everything out in front of you.
Gosling's character doesn't have a name, occasionally he's referred to as 'Kid' but that's the only help we get.
He's a part-time stunt driver who gets involved in robberies as the driver, who gives his accomplices five minutes of help before he takes off and evades the authorities.
His simple world becomes complicated when he strikes up an odd friendship with his neighbour Irene (Carey Mulligan) and when a heist goes wrong a contract is put out on him placing everyone around him in jeopardy.
There's a pretty solid support cast including Bryan Cranston, Albert Brooks and Ron Perlman but Gosling is the star.
His character, while being the lead, probably has the least amount of dialogue. He speaks only when it is needed but you can almost read his mind when he says nothing. There are awkward moments, sweet moments, brutal moments, but it is all Gosling's film.
There are a few scenes that will shock you and will shatter any impression you have of Gosling's character, showing that he is not the detached outsider that he appears.
In some ways Drive is a masterpiece but it also has an unsettling undertone and that makes it a bit uncomfortable.
Having said that this is my type of film and Gosling puts in a brilliant performance.
An 8 out of 10.

The Cup

Making movies of true stories can't be easy, particularly when the true story happened less than a decade ago.
This was the main problem I had with The Cup which is the story of jockey Damien Oliver (Stephen Curry) and the tragic death of his brother Jason (Daniel Macpherson) just a week before the 2002 Melbourne Cup.
Given I still remember the time pretty clearly when all this happened watching it unfold on screen with people who obviously don't look like the real people was going to be difficult. (Although Curry doesn't look too different).
Another tricky element is the fact that horse racing movies aren't easy either - getting the races looking authentic requires a lot of work. In some respects they get the racing scenes pretty close. The bonus though is at times they do splice in some real footage.
Anyway, the story. Oliver is introduced as the top rider of the moment (and he was) and we see the relationship he has with his brother who is also a jockey.
He is asked to ride for Irish trainer Dermot Weld (Brendan Gleeson), at the time the only Northern Hemisphere trainer to have won the Melbourne Cup. After riding Media Puzzle to win at Geelong and qualify for the Cup Oliver's world is rocked when his brother Jason is killed in a freak accident in a barrier trial in Perth.
Overall the movie is well done, there are some errors that racing enthusiasts like myself will notice quite quickly whereas other won't. Some of the casting was a bit odd but, as mentioned, I feel the movie might have been made a bit soon and that made the actors playing real life people who are still active in the racing industry seem a bit wrong.
There are some great moments in the film and it really does pick up as it goes along. Director Simon Wincer (Phar Lap) probably errs a bit in trying to explain a lot of things that might not have needed to be so explicit but, it was still very enjoyable.
The speeches at the end of the film, with the real footage used, add a nice touch. It isn't the greatest racing movie around - that honour still rests with Phar Lap - but it is well done, if just a bit cheesy. A 7 out of 10.

The Smurfs

Recreations of classic cartoons from my childhood have been hit and miss (eg Transformers was awesome, Astro Boy sucked) but The Smurfs is definitely a hit.
Why did I like it? I guess it had just the right mix of adult and child humour and, you have to admit, the Smurfs are so damned cute!
Thanks to Narrator Smurf we are told the backstory, that Smurfs are three apples high and live in a secret village where they are safe from the evil Gargamel (Hank Azaria).
When he attacks the Smurfs run for cover and six of them, thanks to Clumsy Smurf, are sucked through a rare portal and wind up in New York City.
The Smurfs encounter advertising executive Patrick Winslow (Neil Patrick Harris), who is soon to be a 'Papa', and his wife Grace (Jayma Mays) and their presence changes their lives. Gargamel pursues the Smurfs through the portal and sets out to capture them.
I just had a ball watching this. Call me a big kid if you like but it was hilarious, from Gargamel's obsession with emerging from clouds of steam, the Smurfs rocking to Walk This Way, I could go on.
I reckon little kids will enjoy all the blue but won't get a lot of the references.
For example, Smurfette was voiced by Katy Perry and at one point she said 'I smurfed a girl and a liked it' which is a reference to Perry's song 'I Kissed A Girl'.
I also liked a couple of the Smurfs that were mentioned, Complementary Smurf (who 'always has such nice things to say') and Passive-Aggressive Smurf who for some reason Smurfette missed while in New York.

Probably not for everyone, but I loved it. An 8 out of 10.

Ten years ago

Just like most people, I'm acutely aware of what I was doing 10 years ago when the world changed.
It wasn't anything particularly important, so I thought. I was with a friend and we were watching my appearance on Wheel Of Fortune, that he had missed, having spent the earlier part of the evening listening to a talk on 'Significant events of our time'. True.
How could we have known that easily the most significant event of our generation, and I'd say a few before us, was about to unfold before our eyes.
Half way through an episode of Wheel my friend received a phone call - 'turn on the TV' was the message. We didn't turn it off for hours.
Part of me wanted to rush into the newsroom to watch it unfold but, of course, you couldn't look away and a 40 minute drive wasn't going to happen.
I still don't know how I feel about the whole event even 10 years later. It has been called 'The Day Reality Changed Forever'. Certainly the world is not the same place. People feel less safe, like there is always something around the corner waiting to strike again.
I sincerely hope nothing strikes.
I'm afraid of a number of things but I can't imagine what was going through the minds of the people stuck in the towers - some of whom chose to jump out of windows - and if they even got a chance to comprehend what was happening.
I hope I never see such a callous act of inhumanity again.

Ultimate Roxette set list

Been listening to a lot of Roxette lately, since I bought tickets to their Sydney concert coming up in February.
It got me thinking about what songs I'd like to see them play, bearing in mind they will play a number of tracks from their latest album.
I know there are a few that they are very unlikely to play but this is my ultimate set list....

Joyride
Dressed For Success
Way Out
She's Got Nothing On (But The Radio)
It Must Have Been Love
Dangerous
Speak To Me
Fading Like A Flower
Listen To Your Heart
Almost Unreal
Sleeping In My Car
(Do You Get) Excited?
Dream On
Spending My Time
Crash! Boom! Bang!
How Do You Do
Only When I Dream
Milk And Toast And Honey
Come Back (Before You Leave)
After All
Love Is All (Shine Your Light On Me)

Encore
The Look
Salvation
The Sweet Hello, The Sad Goodbye
Sitting On Top Of The World

Interpretations

I was having a conversation with someone recently relating to following what the Bible says.
While I am very much on the other side of the church fence at the moment it's always been my belief that, while some interpretation can be made, if you are a believer then you follow the word of God.
What surprised me was the view that just because it says something in there you can interpret it pretty much to suit yourself.
What puzzles me is if that is true then what importance does the word of God have to you?
If you believe the Bible is the word of God but that it can be twisted to suit yourself then what are you actually believing in - some kind of user-friendly deity that makes you feel better that you can say you follow without having to commit to it?
Sounds a bit dodgy to me.
Now I must say that I don't think the person I was talking with about this believes in this way and I think I made a valid point.
If the Bible says you shouldn't steal and you believe the Bible is the word of God then it follows that you shouldn't steal. You can't get around that.
Sure there are plenty of contextual things in the book but if everything is open for interpretation then what are you actually supposed to believe?

Cowboys & Aliens

It's the genre clash that I guess was always going to happen.
Cowboys & Aliens brings together two widely used film genres and asks: what would happen if they met?
Jake Lonergan (Daniel Craig) wakes up in the middle of nowhere with a thick metal bracelet attached to his wrist and no memory of who he is. After beating the crap out of three guys who try to rob him he rides (on one of their horses) into town.
After causing the town spoilt brat to be arrested he also winds up in jail and the kid's father Woodrow Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford) arrives to get him out.
At the same time aliens attack. As they do.
This isn't rocket science, and it is hard to take it too seriously given the ridiculous mismatch between the cowboys and the aliens, who quite amusingly lasso their prey.

Basically, it's up to Lonergan and Dolarhyde to team up and take on the aliens, and rescue those taken in their attacks.
If you get past the fact that this is a silly premise you find it has been pretty well done, a bit tongue in cheek and obviously done for amusement - even though the script is fairly straight.
I enjoyed it but my expectations weren't overly high. The casting of Sam Rockwell also helped, he's always good value.
A 7 out of 10 and not bad considering everything.

Green Lantern

Yet another superhero film comes off the Hollywood production line and it's an acceptable piece of escapism and a chance for Ryan Reynolds to show off in more ways than one.
Green Lantern is not up there with your Spider-Mans, Supermans, Batmans, X-Men or Avengers flicks but it does entertain.
We meet the Lanterns on the planet Oa and discover that they are battling a force fuelled by fear, Parallax, and have just lost several Lanterns in the fight. One, Abin Sur, is mortally wounded and releases the ring to choose a successor to carry on the fight.
The ring chooses fighter pilot Hal Jordan (Reynolds), a man whose best attribute is his ability to walk away when things get tough. Yep, he's the perfect anti-hero who is actually a real hero underneath - he just hasn't discovered it yet.
Abin Sur is discovered by the government and his body is taken away to be studied. Scientist Hector Hammond (Peter Sarsgaard) is chosen to examine the alien and he becomes infected with a secondary piece of the alien's DNA and he becomes Parallax's man on earth who must rid the planet of the Lantern in order for Parallax to consume it.
Blake Lively plays the obligatory love interest, Carol Ferris, and she does get one of the better lines in the film. When she realises that Hal is the Green Lantern that saved her and he tries to deny it she says - ''I've known you since I was 11, I've seen you naked, do you really think that because the mask hides your cheekbones I wouldn't know it is you!'. Great call and an obvious nod to the Superman story.

Green Lantern relies a lot on CGI, which is pretty impressive on the whole, and the charm of Ryan Reynolds. It's a bit cheesy but overall it is good harmless fun.
Beware that there is an extra scene after the first half of the credits. A 7 out of 10.

Holidays

After a whirlwind trip to Melbourne I have a couple of weeks off which is great.
Decided to catch the train this time up to visit the family for close to a week instead of driving - which should be relaxing.

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

As a general rule, prequels are pretty ordinary but I was very pleasantly surprised by Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes particularly since I didn't really like the original or the remake of the original.
Set in present day San Francisco, Will Rodman (James Franco) is working on creating a cure for Alzheimer's, which his father is inflicted with, and is testing his drug on chimps.
One particular chimp is showing amazing signs of cognitive development but in a frenzy escapes from the cage and runs amok before being killed.
It turns out the chimp was only protecting her baby, and Rodman ends up taking the infant home.
It quickly becomes apparent the young one is very smart, a side effect of the drug testing on his mother.
As he grows, Caesar keeps learning and becoming more intelligent.
Unfortunately, Caesar intervenes in a scuffle involving Rodman's father (John Lithgow) and is impounded - something the chimp takes very hard and, in the end, very personally.
In an effort to escape from his prison Caesar goes to extraordinary lengths to mobilise his fellow apes and march towards freedom.
Setting the movie in the present was a masterstroke. The original Planet Of The Apes wasn't as accessible or easy to relate to, but you can't help but feel for Caesar.

My expectations were about medium because the trailer did look reasonable, but I have to say I can't recommend this highly enough. It's cute, entertaining at times, but also very clever, very unsettling and very ominous.

Most of the apes look pretty realistic and the face work with Caesar is amazing, you can really tell what he's feeling. Fortunately the film does give you a direction as to how things progress (naturally being a prequel we know where it is heading) and it is a very interesting development indeed.
Thoroughly enjoyed it, one of the best films so far this year. 9 out of 10.

Captain America

Chris Evans was always going to be Captain America when you really think about it. He's built like the all-American hero and in some ways it's just not fair.
But that's really got nothing to do with the film.
The story of the 'First Avenger' is the last movie to be made before next year's Avengers movie, and if you stick around through the credits we get a taste of what to expect.
In 1942 Evans is Steve Rogers, the little man with a big heart who is desperate to join the army but keeps getting knocked back. (It's a bit weird to see how they imposed Evans's head onto a much smaller body double for the first half hour or so).
After being selected for an experimental procedure Rogers is transformed into Chris Evans as we see him on the posters, a strong, buff, perfect specimen but also enhanced in every way. He's fast, ridiculously agile but retains the heart of a little guy.
There are other areas of plot but basically he goes out on his own to rescue soldiers, including his best friend 'Bucky' Barnes (Sebastian Stan) from the clutches of Red Skull (Hugo Weaving, who can play a bad guy). We also have the token love interest in Agent Peggy Carter (Hayley Attwell).
Considering this is set in World War 2 there is a lot of technology around at the time - some of which is being pioneered by Howard Stark (Dominic Cooper) who happens to be the eventual father of Tony Stark, better know as Iron Man.
I think Captain America is very enjoyable, sure it is a bit corny but you'd expect that (especially when Rogers becomes chief recruiter for the army and dons a silly costume that he grows a bit fond of).
The question I had was how were they going to bring a character from the 1940s into the present day to be part of The Avengers movie, and we get than answered fairly implausibly but, hey, this is a universe of superheroes.
Can't wait for the Avengers movie in May. The Captain gets a solid 8 out of 10.

Experience

Sometimes you need to do things that aren't exactly smart or out of your comfort zone.
I get noticeably nervous, at times, when I try this.
I've accused myself of playing it too safe a lot of the time so by stepping away from the norm should, theoretically, alleviate those nerve.
So far no good though.
Now I haven't gone out and become a daredevil. Or reckless. I would never do that.
But I have become more comfortable with travelling and exploring new places and meeting new people. In those 'new people' I have met some truly awesome new friends.
Experiencing a few new things is proving to be interesting. I also don't want to regret not getting out there a bit. Sooner and hopefully rather than later I'll be less nervous in these situations.
I guess when you're used to playing it super safe for so long stretching the boundaries can be easier said than done.
But I'm doing it.

Adventures

I've tried a few things lately with mixed results.
Overall I have to say that I have learned a lot, and not only about myself.
Sometimes when you attempt to improve yourself you don't expect things to be difficult - I'm not naive enough to believe that significant change is easy but when there are chemicals involved you have to take things steady (I am talking, in part, about prescription medication).
On the plus side I've become used to heading to the gym a couple of times a week and am almost comfortable there. That is something I didn't think possible.
Also a plus is that I have noticed the difference this type of regular exercise is having.
Perhaps a bit short sightedly, I decided to try and reduce the medication and this was a shade premature I think. So I had to stop and concede that I'm not ready yet, even though in some way I am very ready.
I'm not giving up on that quest, just postponing it.
I've also been a little more adventurous lately and, among other things, finally decided to book a trip to Perth which is something I had in the 'want to do but too hard basket' for quite a while.
That's happening in November and I have a couple of trips to Melbourne coming up before then. Who would have thought a few years ago that I would become such a jetsetter!

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2

Well, this is it....

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2 hits the ground running as we rejoin Harry and co in their search for Voldemort's horcruxes.
Those who have read the books will know where the story heads so explaining the plot is redundant - especially as it is a continuation of the previous film (hence the Part 2).
As someone who hasn't read the books and didn't know how it ended I found it a satisfying conclusion to a series that has spanned 10 years on film.
Amazing, to think I can recall heading off to see the first one. Overall the eight films were very entertaining with only one or two of them being a bit below par (Half-Blood Prince was one).
When Harry finds his way back to Hogwarts, via Albus Dumbledore's brother, the final battle looms quickly. Along the way we reacquaint with several characters and find that many things have changed, particularly with Neville Longbottom (Matthew Lewis).
We also lose some beloved characters.
As someone who is a fan of Alan Rickman (I love his dry manner) I was pleased to get plenty of background into Professor Snape which allowed Rickman to shine.
I can't go without mentioning Helena Bonham Carter, as Bellatrix Lestrange. She's at her wacky best here and adds further class to the cast which is already pretty impressive.
We've watched Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson grow up over the last 10 years and that's one of the great things about the Harry Potter series - they had continuity of cast throughout the 8 films (aside from having to replace Dumbledore due to the actor dying).

SPOILER

The end is a little cheesy but it also wrapped things up nicely. An 8 out of 10 - Part 1 was a better movie overall I thought, but Part 2 was a very good ride.

Mr Popper's Penguins

As a huge Jim Carrey fan I was always going to see Mr Popper's Penguins but savaging reviews did make me hesitate just a little.
Then again, Jim Carrey has rarely received rave reviews which is an occupational hazard when you make as many outrageous comedies as he has.
MPP is not in the 'outrageous' category - it is not Dumb & Dumber, Liar Liar or Yes Man - it is very lightweight and family friendly (note the G rating) but it is still pretty funny.
Carrey is Tom Popper, a career obsessed businessman who is the product of a father who was never at home and communicated with him via shortwave radio from all over the world.
He's divorced and sees his two kids on alternate weekends. Just as he is about to attempt to buy a prime piece of real estate a package arrives that contains a live penguin, a bequest from his father.
A mix-up in trying to get the penguin returned sees five more arrive and they take up residence in Popper's apartment, much to to delight of his children.
As he tries to fend off a creepy zookeeper who has sinister plans for the penguins he finds their presence the key to winning back his family's love.
There's not much more to tell. The penguins are largely CGI (though apparently some scenes use real ones) and there's a funny disclaimer at the end saying 'no penguins were harmed in the making of the movie but Jim Carrey was pecked mercilessly - but he had it coming!' Nice.
It's an enjoyable, kid friendly, movie with some good clean laughs and a pretty solid cast to help it along.
Angela Lansbury pops up as Mrs Van Gundy, the owner of the business Popper is trying to buy, and Ophelia Lovibond (who looks an awful lot like Melissa George) is quite amusing as Pippi, Popper's assistant with a penchant for popping the letter 'P'.
This isn't high art but if you're a Carrey fan it's a nice distraction for a while. 7 out of 10.

Take a chance

Take a chance
Let down your guard
Try something new
Trust in a stranger
Believe in chance encounters
Satisfy a longing
Give in to temptation....almost

Misled and cheated
Confusing and messy
What to believe?
Distraction, disruption, disinterest
Picture of deceit
Shattered dream of future life
All from taking a chance

First or second

There is something to be said for knowing when you should put your needs first or consider others before yourself.
This is the dilemma du jour.
I guess I have felt this way for a while but chose to ignore, for want of a better description, the thought.
It keeps returning. Every now and then something will happen and I wonder why I don't just bite the bullet. It would require a fair bit of diligence and care to actually make that change but I have done it before, many years ago now.
I'm not in any danger of making any snap decisions about it but there is nothing wrong with keeping my options open a bit on the subject.

Wounded

I think I really hurt someone this week.
It was the right thing to do, I am certain of that, but I don't feel good about it. And don't get me wrong, I feel hurt too.
When it comes to another person's feelings there is no way to cushion a blow if it hits them right in a sensitive spot. I know this now. It was something I guess I suspected but when you don't allow yourself to expose the sensitive spot it can't get hit.
Distracted doesn't go far enough to describe how I was yesterday. I had one subject on my mind and it just wouldn't relent, it wouldn't let me go.
Even having dealt with the issue it still lingers a bit.
I get easily haunted and at the moment there is a song that is haunting me and it is somewhat related to what's been going on.
The trouble is, it is an amazing song and I don't want to stop listening to it.
I have learned a lot from the experience of this week.
I have learned about myself and I have discovered that there are things I might have to offer that I didn't credit myself for.
Still, I don't like the fact that out there in the world is someone who is feeling angry, a little I'd say, hurt and disappointed.
I couldn't help but feel cheated so that's why I took the action I did. I don't regret it because it was undoubtedly the best thing to do.
Like most lessons, this one has been learned the hard way but at the same time it has opened a door or two and that's both exciting and a bit scary.

Words and Pictures

If I were to say this isn't real it wouldn't make it true
If I tried to deny that something has changed
You could call me a liar
If I could separate thoughts from feelings
If I didn't want to take a chance
You could call me a fool
But I don't see what you can see
And you can't tell when I'm afraid
And you can't see what I see
And I can't help but wonder

What am I supposed to do when words are all I have
How do I explain it to myself let alone the whole wide world
Would a picture make a difference or would it all get confused
Are the words in my head pushing me forward or back
Would a picture tell me something I don't already know
If a thousand words are worth a picture
Then why are some things so unclear?

Transformers 3: Dark Of The Moon

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon is not as bad as the reviewers will have you believe - it is just silly.
While the second film was very poorly edited, Dark Of The Moon seemed to flow a lot better but they really ramped up the corny-ness factor and very much overdid the American patriotic thing.
Anyway, we rejoin Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) as he searches for a job having finished college and been given a hero medal by President Obama (in quite a funny scene). He's also ditched, or been ditched by, Megan Fox's character from the previous two films and shacked up with Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) who is far too glamorous to make going out with Sam even remotely realistic but, hey, we're talking about a film with alien robots.
It seems the Decepticons have been in hibernation for a while as the Autobots have taken to helping America in the Middle East.
Sam finally finds a job working for the very odd Bruce Brazos (John Malkovich) and is made aware of a plan by the Decepticons to take over the world by the screwball Jerry Wang (The Hangover's Ken Jeong) who was involved in a cover up of an incident on the moon in 1969. Or something like that.
Cue the return of the Decepticons and all hell breaks loose.
This isn't Shakespeare but it is a great deal of fun. The casting helps a bit, with Frances McDormand, Alan Tudyk and Patrick Dempsey particularly good in their roles and the aforementioned Malkovich is just a genius.

It's not as witty as the first film but it does run rings around the second. So sit back, laugh and enjoy the outlandish destruction of Chicago and the probably-not final battle. (You just never know with Hollywood and their sequels). A 7 out of 10.

Cars 2

It really, really pains me to say this but I think Pixar have made their first stumble and it couldn't have been with a more unfortunate franchise.
Cars 2 is not a worthy follow up to the original and I really have to wonder what the people at Pixar were thinking.
We pick up after Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson) has won yet another Piston Cup and has returned to Radiator Springs to relax and reconnect with his friends. Mater (Larry The Cable Guy) is particularly keen to get up to no good and have some fun.
McQueen wants some of that and also to hang out with Sally at the diner. It's there that he's coaxed into participating in a world racing championship.
While all this is going on secret agent Finn McMissile (Michael Caine) has uncovered some weapons he suspects will be used to attack the races in the WDC and meets up with agent Holly Shiftwell (Emily Mortimer) at the championship launch to gather further evidence from an American spy Rod Torqueline. Yada yada yada the evidence ends up attached to Mater.
There's also a sub-plot about a clean alternative fuel which doesn't really help the overall story, depending on who they are trying to appeal to.
The main beef I have with Cars 2 is that it is far too serious. It's about spies and plots to blow up race cars and there's far too much of Mater taking centre stage. If you look at Cars it's a simple, whimsical story that's fun and entertaining and accessible to all ages.
Cars 2 is none of those things. It's a complex story and I don't see how kids will follow it, though they will enjoy the animation which is top notch.
It wasn't a terrible movie, it certainly had some fun moments and as mentioned it was very well drawn and scored. But it's not a great movie either, nowhere near the standard I come to expect from Pixar and I really hope they do a Cars 3 to right this wrong.
A 6.5 out of 10, by far the lowest a Pixar movie (which tends to get 8s minimum) has scored.

Learn to live

'The hardest thing in this world is to live in it'.
It's a line from the musical episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer - it sounds so very true, doesn't it. But we all know that it shouldn't be the case.
The world is amazing place and we shouldn't let our trials crush us, and lead to the perception that life is tough. We all have troubles, we all get sick, we all get injured in some way, we all go through periods of happiness and sadness.
Yes I am being very philosophical - it probably isn't my nature which tends to be more negative I guess (to my detriment).
The challenge for me is to acknowledge that I have troubles and to do my best to deal with them. My troubles are mine and it is up to me to live the best way I can. I let them dominate my thinking and that is wrong.
Like any habit, the more you do it the easier it becomes. Cruelly, bad habits get easier very fast and good habits always tend to be harder to form. Probably because they require more effort and willpower.
I know that I am costing myself plenty of enjoyment at times by letting the negative thinking get inside the head when it does it tends to go for a pretty long run.
I am trying, but I guess not quite hard enough at this stage.

Super 8

I will admit to being very negative towards Super 8 based on the trailer but gave it a go anyway.
Happily, I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought it would - though it did have a bit of a cheesy ending.
The film is set in 1979, a time when kids had to find constructive things to occupy themselves, and centres on a group of teenagers who are making a film (on a Super 8mm camera, hence the name) when a train spectacularly crashes around them.
From there all manner of strange things start to happen and when the US Airforce turns up to clean up the mess people start to wonder. Particularly Joey (Joel Courtney) and his film-making friends.
As Joey's dad Jackson (Kyle Chandler), the deputy sheriff, investigates the kids make the most of the situation to make their movie and work out what is going on.
It's definitely in the sci-fi genre as something begins picking off residents and soldiers. In a style not seen often in similar films in recent years, you don't get a good look at what is attacking the town until very late in the piece. I think that's a great thing. I remember Alien 3 having very little suspense because you saw the alien pretty early on so had nothing to creep you out like in the first couple.

Anyway. if Super 8 is similar to another film I'd have to say it is The Goonies. It just has that feel. A bunch of kids on a quest to save the town run into an extraordinary situation. There's no Truffle Shuffle, but that's the basic feel.
As said I enjoyed Super 8 quite a bit, though I felt they needed an extra couple of scenes to tie things up a bit bitter. It ended abruptly and quite cheesily.

A 7 out of 10.

Trust

There comes a time when you have to believe some things to be true and some things to be false.
I wonder, when it comes to myself, why I can't seem to trust what I know to be true because I feel a few odd things?
I can feel quite good in general yet have some little thing going on somewhere else and that dominates. Whether it is a twinge in a muscle (I get back issues now and then) or an odd feeling in sensitive areas, I just jump off the cliff before considering that the cause is likely to be minor, transient, and not worth getting worked up about.
But, no, to me it can be this huge, life threatening danger and it overtakes me, distracting me from whatever I'm doing, or supposed to be doing.
I think I've said it before, it's almost like looking for something to be wrong.
How much panic or anxiety contributes to what I feel is hard to measure - so I will say to myself this....all the tests you've had recently have been excellent.
That is something I need to trust in.

Spooked

One of the things that bugs me about myself these days is how easily spooked I am.
I'm not talking about scary things like walking down a dark alley in Redfern in the middle of the night with a wad of cash on me....though I probably would feel pretty uneasy doing that.
What I'm referring to is how I have this tendency of jumping to bad conclusions.
Particularly when it comes to health issues. Medically, it would be referred to as 'health anxiety'.
That problem to the side, the troubling this is that when I am 'spooked' I can shut down a bit and not want to do things - just in case.
Committing to doing CBT to try and overcome it is not as easy as it sounds either. I don't know why, though.
The solution could well and truly be in my worksheets and CBT book yet it doesn't get the workout that I should be giving it.
OK, so I admit I have a problem here.

Progress

I'm happy to say there has been progress in the challenge of getting to the gym.
Unfortunately I didn't get there today but have been three times in the past 10 days. The plan is to be there tomorrow just for a bit of a lighter session as my shoulder blades feel like they have a steel bar shoved through them.
More stretching is required to ease that issue.
I have to say that in general I feel a little better having been more active in the past couple of weeks. I still get troubled by little things that my mind can turn into larger things but that is a work in progress as well.
So the plan is a cardio session for Friday with a bit of weights then a similar session on Monday before hopefully getting back into the routine this time next week.
Also looking forward to another trip to Brisbane in a couple of weeks time. Haven't been there properly since I was a teenager and the two times I have been there since then I saw the airport and the racecourse and Moreton Island.
So it will be cool to have a look around and hopefully meet some new people and catch up with some new friends up there.

It's a start

I am rather proud of myself for making it to the gym twice in the past week.
That probably doesn't sound like much to some people but my history has been go once then don't go again for months and months.
My arms do feel like they could fall off! A lot of stiffness there from using muscles I'm sure I didn't know I had (and still don't have just yet to be honest). A big plus has been finding a buddy to go along with and that's encouraging, plus I have someone who knows what they are doing a lot more than me.
The big challenge coming up for me isn't so much to keep going - it is the fact that I will inevitably lose a bit of weight from actually working out properly a couple of times a week. And while that is something I very much want (a few kgs, not 10), losing weight is a bit of a tricky subject for me because it has been embedded in my mind that weight loss is bad.
Long story.
Feeling fitter and better about myself is a big positive so hopefully I can keep the crazy thoughts about dropping a kilo or two in perspective.
But anyway, I'm off to a good start.

X-Men: First Class

'Origin' movies are interesting because they presume the audience knows a bit about the characters.
X-Men: First Class is no exception and while it isn't as action-packed as the other films in the series it is a quality introduction to the X-Men.
A large part of what makes this one watchable is an excellent cast and, particularly with the two leads, you could see them growing up into the characters of the original trilogy.

James McAvoy, one of my favourites, is Charles Xavier who is a rather cocky character and an expert on genetic mutation. We also see how he ended up in a wheelchair.
Michael Fassbender, who I admit I wasn't familiar with, was excellent as Erik Lehnsherr (Magneto).

We're shown how Erik came to be such an angry and vengeful character and why he adopted his 'us and them' mentality about mutants. Xavier had a much more prim and proper upbringing and it was interesting to see that it was he who befriended Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) before she turned to Magneto's side.

We're introduced to a number of new mutants (and a couple we already know, including a juicy cameo) on both the good and bad side of the equation.
Kevin Bacon seems to relish playing Sebastian Shaw, the man responsible for Erik's anger while Mad Men's January Jones does what she does best as Emma Frost.

I thought Nicholas Hoult was exceptional as Hank McCoy (Beast), who we saw in X-Men 3 played by Kelsey Grammar. Hoult of course is the kid from the fantastic film About A Boy.

It seems likely that there will be more X-Men films to follow from this cast so where they head will be of plenty of interest.

I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would when I first heard about it, the cast does help it along when there is a lot of plot and less action than you'd expect from an X-Men film. An 8 out of 10.

Gamblor

It's been in the news lately about the Government attempting to cap the amount people can lose on poker machines and I'm starting to see why.
A couple of years ago, while at the wake from my aunt's funeral my dad gave me $50 to spend and after looking at the horses I decided to throw it in the pokies.
As almost always happens when you do something like that which you don't normally do, I won about $100. They call it beginner's luck.
After that I started throwing $20 in now and then. Eventually this rose to starting at $50.
Yada yada yada, you get the drift.
Now I need to get out of the habit of doing it. I know that you can't beat the machines, you might get lucky and have a win now and then but in the end you will lose.
That is why there are so many of them around.
I love having a bet on the horses and that is a lot more a game of skill than the pokies. While surprises to happen in racing there are elements you can take into consideration to rule horses in or out and make educated gambles.
There is an episode of The Simpsons where Marge gets hooked on the pokies and Homer describes to the kids that she has been consumed by a monster called Gamblor. We all laugh but it is so true that this can take you over.
I don't know what it is about them, the flashing lights, the cool features that promise the chance to win large-ish amounts, the jackpots that are attached to the machines. Again, I don't know.
Whatever the reason people get addicted I need to stop using them - it's not even fun any more, it used to be just throw in 20 and hope you come out with 30 - before it gets to being a big issue.
So here I go - I know it will take a bit of willpower but I vow to stop playing them from this moment.
I like to think I can keep a promise to other people - now I need to prove I can keep a promise to myself. Money is far too important these days to be throwing it away on pure chance.

The Hangover Part 2

What do they say in Scream 2 - sequels are never as good as the original. That is certainly the case with The Hangover Part 2 but that doesn't mean it isn't funny.
We pick up the action two years after the mayhem in Las Vegas where Doug (Justin Bartha) was misplaced following his bachelor party.
This time it is Stu (Ed Harris) that is getting married, properly, and all are well aware of avoiding another night like they had in Vegas. So much so that Stu invites Doug and Phil (Bradley Cooper) to what looks like a Macca's type restuarant for his 'bachelor brunch'.
He even covers his juice with a napkin so nobody can spike it.
Doug and Phil are invited to the wedding but Alan (Zach Galafinakis) is not, until Doug's wife urges him to secure an invite for her brother.
Reluctantly Stu agrees and everyone jets off to Thailand for the wedding.
After some awkward speeches the guys retire to the beach for one beer before hitting the sack and they take Stu's soon to be brother in law Teddy (Mason Lee) with them.
Then they wake up in a strange hotel room, Doug is safely back at their resort but Teddy is missing and the only trace of him is his finger.
Further mayhem ensues and this time it is a lot more R-rated than the original.
As I said this sequel is quite funny but when you have a film as original as its predecessor it was always going to be hard to top. Unfortunately they didn't try to top it, they just basically copied it.
In some ways it's not a completely bad thing - you know what to expect right down to the inevitable bunch of photos taken explaining what happened on that wild night.

If you enjoyed the first movie then you'll have a laugh. Nothing new here, a 7 out of 10.

Commitment

OK, it is getting to the end of another month and I haven't gone a lot forward. Going to Brisbane for the first time was a step, I will admit, but it seems a lot more manageable than perhaps I thought it might.
Gonna test that one out again.
The gym clothes are in the bag for tomorrow so I'm going to commit to going after work and hopefully get the ball rolling. If I pull up well I'll go again Thursday or Friday.
Here goes....

Air of change

Snap decisions aren't really my forte so this is something I'll mull over for a while...
I've been getting the sense for a while now that things need to change in some areas, not necessarily internally because we all know that's gotta happen as well.
There isn't any particular reason for these thoughts and it's not the first time I've considered them either, but maybe this year is the year to act.
Again, I'm not really sure.
I could easily change my thinking on it, that can happen as well. Which is why snap decisions aren't a good idea.
Definitely need more of a positive aura around me.
Maybe it could be counter-productive, maybe it could be exactly what I need.
Perhaps the first thing to do would be to work harder on changing my way of thinking because that's screwing me around more than anything else at the moment.
I seem to be all over the place and at the whim of my (usually unhelpful) thoughts.
Around in circles is the usual pattern, if only I reach the day when I can break out of the circle.

Snowtown

A fairly good knowledge of the true story behind Snowtown is a must if you are going to even come close to repeating some of the phrases on the poster.
While I was aware of the story, I guess I wasn't quite as well versed as the movie requires you to be.
It's the story of South Australian serial killer John Bunting (Daniel Henshall) though it is told through the eyes of 16-year-old Jamie Vlassakis (Lucas Pittaway) who became involved through John's relationship with his mother.
I'm not going to delve into too much detail here. The cast is made up of largely unknown actors and it does show a bit.
More of a concern, though, is the disjointed nature of the film. It attempts to build the tension but doesn't have the substance on the screen to match the music that pumps through your mind.
There are also a number of very graphic scenes from disturbing nudity to rape, child exploitation and the gruesome murders that I'm told were watered down quite a bit for the screen compared to the detail in real life.
It's all fine to tell the story from Jamie's perspective, or focusing on him, but he is hardly an accessible character and you get no sense of what he is feeling or going through, for the most part, as he is subject to and witnesses some of the confronting scenes.
I feel there is a really tense and gripping movie in this story but for me it just didn't work. It was not accessible at all and in the first half, when it wasn't bordering on boring, things seemed to happen randomly and for no apparent reason.
Can't go any higher than a 6 out of 10 and I'm disappointed because it was a film that received rave reviews.

The big H

We all have things that irk us from time to time, call them pet peeves or those little things people do that rub you up the wrong way.....
Well, one of mine is hypocrisy.
Particularly when it comes to a person's core beliefs or public persona. In politics they often call it a 'conflict of interest' to make it sound a bit less severe.
Most of the time it is related to actions that are highly acceptable in general but when compared with the public profile seem against one's perceived agenda.
Like white lies, I guess, some hypocrisy can be meaningless. I have to stick my hand up and say I have erred on the side of the big H. For example, I was actively against Facebook but eventually fell under its spell and quite enjoy using it.
Sure, it was a shade hypocritical but nobody was hurt.
But this isn't the pot calling the kettle black. More like apples and oranges.

Your Highness

Sometimes there is a place for the silly comedy.
Films like Dude, Where's My Car, Road Trip and even The Hangover fall into that category and, done right, can be very entertaining.
Your Highness is in this vein and I have to admit to having a pretty good laugh despite there being some very crude and inappropriate scenes, even for the type of film it is.
The always likeable James Franco plays Fabious, the celebrated Prince, who must lead a quest to rescue his bride to be Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel) from the evil Leezar (Justin Theroux) who is bent on creating a dragon through a union with the maiden (yep!) and taking over the kingdom.
There's also the younger brother, Prince Thadeous (Danny McBride) who is very much in the shadow of his brother and has never been on a quest to earn the respect of the people.
Thadeous is required to accompany his brother on the quest to rescue Belladonna and he does so reluctantly.
Along the way they encounter the beautiful Isabel (Natalie Portman) and they set out to defeat Leezar.
It's all very silly, there's ridiculous dialogue at times but it seems to fit well, Franco has a silly lisp, there's robotic bird sidekicks, three evil witches, an arena fight with a five fingered snake monster and an even sillier encounter with a minotaur (I'll leave that one alone).
I didn't expect an awful lot from Your Highness but I must admit to enjoying myself. Possibly not quite as much as, say, Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle, but it was fun.
I wouldn't necessarily say rush out and see this on the big screen but if you get a few of the guys around it's good for a laugh.
A 6 out of 10.

From one side

From one side you are perfect
Wide eyed, strong and pure
I'm blinded by the light
Stopped by your gaze
When you look and smile and wink
When you give me secrets
Trust is absolute
From one side it's an image
An ideal
Too good to be true but it's very real
It's right there in front of me
Granted definitely not taken
But there's never enough time
Never enough space
From this side I need to get into the race

Power of fear

It's become a pattern over the years and it has really just only occurred to me.
Fear has been the ruling power in my life for the most part and stopped me from doing all sorts of things. Some of those things I may have regretted, sure, but I've reached the point where I almost regret not taking the leap.
Even back in high school I was afraid of one thing or another - whether it was the kid trying to get me into fights I didn't want to be in or things as semi-serious as relationships. I remember backing out of the date I'd asked to the high school formal because I just wanted to go 'as friends'.
The solution isn't completely clear but going out and doing things I will certainly regret definitely isn't the answer.
I know that I can't continue to be ruled by this general fear - is it a fear of living or a fear of failure or rejection? I don't know exactly.

Insidious

Points for trying, but in the end Insidious fails to get off the ground as an old school scary movie. In the tradition, I guess, of the likes of Poltergeist, Insidious is focused on the Lambert family, particularly their son Dalton (Ty Simpkins).
After exploring the attic and having a fall, Dalton fails to wake up in the morning. It's assumed he's in a coma but months pass and he's unresponsive.
Parents Josh (Patrick Wilson) and Renai (Rose Byrne) struggle to come to terms with it, particularly Renai who begins hearing and seeing strange things around the house. Eventually she refuses to live in their new house any more and the family moves. Trouble is, the same things continue to happen.
Eventually we find out that Dalton isn't in fact in a coma, his spirit has left his body and is trapped in a realm called The Further with all sorts of nasty parasites trying to inhabit his vacant body and cause trouble in the world.
Yep, we're talking about the same movie.
Look, basically this is a real good college try at a scary movie and I will admit it made me jump once or twice and left me with that uncomfortable rippling feeling in the body now and then.
There was no gore but old school shocks and surprises and lots of suspense.
I think the trouble was the second half of the film was far too different from the first half and it just doesn't always work well that way (From Dusk Til Dawn did but that's an exception to the rule).
On the positive side, the cast is likeable and that will take you a fair way into giving it a go. Can't go any higher than 5 out of 10. Nice try, but meh.

Source Code

Captain Colter Stevens (Jake Gyllenhaal) wakes up on a commuter train heading for Chicago but the woman sitting across from him calls him Sean.
In an interesting twist on the time travel theme, Source Code is a kind of PG thriller where Stevens must relive eight minutes as Sean in order to find the bomber of the train.
At the end of his eight minutes the train will explode and Stevens returns to his own body inside the Source Code, a piece of technology being trialled for use in preventing major disasters.
It also messes with his head quite a lot - being blown up repeatedly - and trying to make sense of who he is and how he came to be inside the Code.
Everything isn't as it seems.
As he repeats his eight minutes trying to find the bomber he becomes attached to Christina (Michelle Monaghan), so much that he eventually wants to try and save her, even though he is told that he can't change the past.
We'd all love to change the past and Stevens, torn between his military training and his growing affection for Christina, is no different. He has a past that is slowly revealed and a big reason for wanting to influence it.
I loved director Duncan Jones' first film - Moon - and Source Code is a worthy follow up. A bit Groundhog Day (though not as funny!) and with clear influence from recent films like Inception, this is an entertaining film, just on 90 minutes so not overly long, and definitely worth a watch.
A 7.5 out of 10.

Stocktake

At least I have made an effort in some respects to change things.
I actually went to the gym last week. It's a completely foreign environment to me but fortunately the other people that were there at the time (in the work gym) were people I know to a reasonable extent so it wasn't so bad.
It was a good start. The bad thing about the gym is that you feel great for the rest of the day then sore for a day or two afterwards! No pain no gain, hey.
I am also trying to rein in a couple of other habits that are becoming troublesome. One more than the other.
The big issue remains the same - fear. Though, I am still not sure what the fear is of exactly.
I once described it as a fear of living.
I don't know whether it is this general feeling of unease that is actually causing more issues than anything else. It's clear that my tolerance for some things is very low.
Whenever I feel something strange it's usually in the stomach area and then I'll jump to a conclusion that it has to be something serious and, potentially, life threatening.
As you can see this is not a very helpful way to think.
Like most people in our world today, I want things to be fixed straight away. We're an instant gratification society and patience is hard to grasp.
It's not only that I need to change. I want to change, I want things to be different.

Thor

The latest in the Avengers series is Thor and it is one of the more accessible despite being about a legendary Norse god cast out of his own realm and banished to Earth.
Aussie Chris Hemsworth plays the ample bodied Thor who must learn humility and other attributes of a ruler after his father Odin (Anthony Hopkins kicks him out of Asgard for starting a war.
His brother Loki (Tom Hiddleson) assumes the throne when Odin falls ill and, after being overlooked all his life as heir, sets out to fulfil his own agenda.
On Earth, Thor is discovered by Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) who is studying strange occurrences in the sky. Thor's arrival is one such occurrence.

If you enjoy the Avenger movies to date - Iron Man, Incredible Hulk etc, then this is your cup of tea.
Like a lot of 'origin' movies, it feels like Thor is a bit short because we have to get through the context before we get to the guts of the movie. But the back story is interesting in itself. I also enjoyed seeing the bonus scene from Iron Man 2 fit into the story nicely too.
It's a movie I feel like I need to see again, which is a good sign I enjoyed it. Next up in the series is Captain America then it is on to The Avengers next year.
An 8 out of 10, and stick through the credits for an important extra scene.

Fast & Furious 5

Say what you like about the franchise but it pretends to be nothing more than a bit of fun and action and fast cars.
Welcome to Fast & Furious 5 and easily the most entertaining of the five films.
Probably not the best, I think that has to go to the original.
Fast 5 as it is known in the USA brings together major and minor characters from all the movies to date (that was a masterstroke by the way) as Dom (Vin Diesel) and Brian (Paul Walker) attempt to take down the ruler of underground Rio.
They are fugitives, though, as they were wrongly accused of killing three police officers so the FBI has dispatched Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) to round them up and put them away.
Of course Mia (Jordana Brewster) is there and is now pregnant while we are reacquainted with Roman (Tyrese Gibson) and Tej (Ludacris) from 2 Fast 2 Furious and Han (Sung Kang) from Tokyo Drift).
And, of course again, there are hot cars and hotter chicks.

Some fantastic action comedy and completely ridiculous chase scenes ensue as they try to outrun Hobbs and take down Reyes (Joaquim de Alimeda) at the same time.

I'm not really 'into' cars as such but for some reason I really dig these movies. I don't know what it is. They are just really entertaining and largely mindless fun.

So if you are a fan of the series you are going to have a ball. If you aren't then why are you bothering to watch it?

One word of warning. If you stick around during the credits there is a bonus scene. Having seen it I'm not sure whether it was a good thing or a bad thing. You'll know what I mean, and you might be looking back at the fourth movie afterwards as well. An 8 out of 10.