Lost

I'm not really sure where I am at the moment.
Things have been shaken up so much in the first few months of the year and it still surprises me that it's May 1 already.
On a general level I think I am doing pretty well, then just when I convince myself of that something goes awry. Whether it was getting the cold a few weeks ago or some kind of small reminder of the panic attack days, there seems to be one thing or another to unsettle me.
This has led, among other things, for me to do a lot of questioning about what's going on.
I am well and truly able to function, this is a good thing, but there are times when, well, I can't. These are the really tough times. The hardest thing is that I don't think I truly understand what is going on and why my body and my mind seem to be at war.
Above everything else I just want to be me again. Happily, some days I am and they are the great ones. But give me a bad day and it will take a few to recover.
It's all getting a shade hard to handle. If you haven't seen me for a while rest assured I am okay, just struggling with `this whole thing'. I know it seems like that's been going on for a while.
Like I said, I'm just not sure where I am at the moment.