Stocktake

At least I have made an effort in some respects to change things.
I actually went to the gym last week. It's a completely foreign environment to me but fortunately the other people that were there at the time (in the work gym) were people I know to a reasonable extent so it wasn't so bad.
It was a good start. The bad thing about the gym is that you feel great for the rest of the day then sore for a day or two afterwards! No pain no gain, hey.
I am also trying to rein in a couple of other habits that are becoming troublesome. One more than the other.
The big issue remains the same - fear. Though, I am still not sure what the fear is of exactly.
I once described it as a fear of living.
I don't know whether it is this general feeling of unease that is actually causing more issues than anything else. It's clear that my tolerance for some things is very low.
Whenever I feel something strange it's usually in the stomach area and then I'll jump to a conclusion that it has to be something serious and, potentially, life threatening.
As you can see this is not a very helpful way to think.
Like most people in our world today, I want things to be fixed straight away. We're an instant gratification society and patience is hard to grasp.
It's not only that I need to change. I want to change, I want things to be different.