Nothing much has changed in the last couple of weeks and I'm not really any closer to settling on what I want to do and what I should do.
It's a little surreal actually that something that was a big part of life, and something I devoted a lot of time and effort to, isn't there anymore. More to the point, I'm not there anymore.
I think it had to be that way.
With a couple of notable exceptions I kind of feel excommunicated or at least fall into the out of sight out of mind category. That's okay I suppose. In some cases I have made a concerted effort not to disappear and some people I need to catch up with and offer an explanation. With one or two people I almost feel an apology is in order for not keeping up.
Everyone has their own crises, I know that, and I'm sure everyone struggles with how to weigh up their own issues with those of others.
This is one of those decisions that can't be taken lightly.
Sometimes I just push it to the background for a while and just cruise but it's always there and must be dealt with. Trouble is, I'm not sure I want to. Not just yet anyway.
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