Talk hard

Communication isn't as easy for some people as it is for others.
Unfortunately, despite the fact that is the industry I work in, outside of work I find communication to be very difficult.
I don't know whether it is that I think I have nothing to say, or whether I don't know how to express it, or if I'm too concerned about what's going on inside my head to be able to articulate it.
Sometimes talking is just not that simple.
I know people who can just talk to anyone. I don't know if it is an innate confidence thing, a personality thing or what it is. Whatever it is it seems I don't have it. Or at least I'm not willing to see if I have it.
There's a move from 1990 called Pump Up The Volume, it stars Christian Slater as a teenager (who looks well and truly in his 20s) who has moved to a new town and has no friends, finds it hard to connect with people and comes across to his parents and depressed and detached.
He starts broadcasting on short wave radio and his on air persona builds up quite a following.
It's easy to talk when you think nobody is listening.
I think this quote from the movie sums up a lot of us:
''We are all really scared to show who we really are. I am not perfect, I have just been going through the motions of being perfect, and inside I am screaming.''

The problem for me is that I'm not a teenager struggling to fit in.
It's true, though, it is the fact that I'm scared that is holding me back. Scared of all sorts of things that make seemingly simple things that much harder.
Talking is hard, even when I try to explain how I am feeling. Even when I am comfortable with the person I am talking with.
It has occurred to me that it might not be external things that are holding me back, but rather an internal fear that changing something is a bad thing. I don't know exactly.
Talk hard. It's a phrase used in the movie that I think is meant to say that you have to just get it out. Here goes.....

Unscheduled outage

I had intended to do this regularly but have been side tracked for one reason or another.
Will get back to it shortly, in the meantime enjoy some valuable silence for at least a few days.

127 Hours

There has been a lot of attention on the gore on screen in the scene where Aron Ralston cuts his arm off to save his life. Yes, we all know this is central to 127 Hours but it is in no way the whole story.
I became aware of Ralston's tale a few years back when he was a guest on Andrew Denton's Enough Rope (easily one of the best interview shows ever made in Australia).
It's not a surprise in the least that it has been made into a feature.
Ralston (James Franco) is your typical carefree soul who heads out for a weekend of adventures canyoning in Utah.
Of course we all know the story - he slips and his arm is wedged tight by a boulder and it isn't budging.
As the realisation sets in that he is going to die in this remote canyon Ralston uses his video camera to record his thoughts, some of which are a hilarious attempt to make light of his situation but also give an insight into the man.

He tries to chip away at the boulder crushing his arm and eventually comes to a gruesome conclusion.
James Franco is absolutely amazing as Ralston. Much like Ryan Reynolds in Buried, he has to carry the film, you have to sympathise (well you don't have to) with him, you have to believe in what he is going through.
OK, some of the setting does look a bit fake and constructed - but this isn't a major surprise. And in the end 127 Hours is not a story about a guy who cuts his arm off. It's a story about the human condition, the human spirit, and the precious nature of life. It's about people and it is bloody good.
Yes, you have to stomach a bit of blood and watch a guy sever his arm. That isn't easy. But it is in no way gratuitous and every bit vital to Ralston's character.
If you can handle it this is a must see. Brilliant, gripping, funny at times and very moving. A 9 out of 10 and take a bow James Franco.

Thoughts for the day

I'm not very good at helping myself out when it comes to thinking constructively.
On and off over the last few days I have had some odd stomach aches, not pains and not sharp ones and maybe it is some bloating. That's the best I can come up with. I'm not sure exactly how to describe it.
When it comes to tummy issues I am super-hyper-sensitive and it really screws with my thoughts. As a regular thing I will jump to the worst possible conclusion first.
Like a lot of people the thought of any type of cancer is a scary one.
However, I have no symptoms of anything even remotely like that yet it still crosses my mind a few times a day at least.
By worrying about that at times it can do my head right in for a while.
What I have felt this week is not unlike something that occurred about five months ago and it came and went after a time. There is nothing to suggest that this isn't similar.
I have little tolerance for illness - it's like I think that I am not supposed to be unwell at all ever. I'm no different to anyone else, and will contract bugs and colds etc from time to time. Maybe it is all compounded by being a guy - we're apparently sooks when we get sick.
So instead of dealing with the minor issue at hand I seem to have to try and deal with a major issue that is a distant, remote possibility at the very, very worst.
How is this helping me? It isn't. Changing the way you think is not an easy one - I have been trying for a few years now and am obviously going to have to work harder and be much more vigilant.
It's like that add that describes building willpower as being like building muscles. The more you exercise them the stronger they get. I must exercise correct and more positive thoughts if I am to get any stronger.

Willpower

I've recently demonstrated to myself a high level of willpower in one aspect of life but now I am failing in a related area.
So now it's up to me again to refocus that willpower and rectify a potentially harmful trend that is occurring. The good thing is, having already won a battle I can move on to this one knowing it can be done.
Challenge extended....

How Do You Know

Expectations weren't super high for How Do You Know but thanks to a largely likable cast it is definitely above average.

Reece Witherspoon plays Lisa, a pro-softballer who finds herself in unfamiliar territory when she is cut from the team. She's casually seeing Matty (Owen Wilson), a baseballer, who is self centred but fun.

Not far away George (Paul Rudd) discovers he is the centre of a federal legal case into fraudulent activity within his firm - while he is calling Lisa to organise a blind date after being given her number.
George's dad Charles (Jack Nicholson) attempts to control the situation and protect his own interests at the same time.

It turns out that Charles and Matty live in the same building and Lisa and George meet following a disastrous first date and he starts to fall for her.
Thus begins a love triangle.
The story isn't a new one really but it is the cast that brings it to life. Witherspoon and Rudd are very likable while Wilson is a bit annoying and may be miscast. Nicholson, as always, commands your attention and steals every scene.
Rudd is the centre of the movie and his character is perfect for him, and you've really got to feel for him at times.

A couple of the side characters are fun and add to the light hearted moments.
This is probably more of the sort of film you'd watch at home rather than in the cinema, it's not a must see but I enjoyed it. A 7 out of 10.