I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness

It's episode five of One Tree Hill season 4 and the truth about Peyton's stalker, who poses as her long lost half-brother (as you do), Derek is revealed more so to her than to us.
It's a chilling episode in a way, signalled by the black opening title and no cast credits, in a similar vein to last season's shooting episode.
The episode, I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness, eludes to the way Peyton (left with evil Derek) will choose to handle her stalker's obsession. It's not really surprising.
The ending, where Lucas and the real Derek push the stalker out of Peyton's bedroom window, is a shade predictable as he gets away, certain to resurface later in the season.
The second episode viewed last night, Where Did You Sleep Last Night, is a much lighter affair. It's great how they have mixed it up. After the shooting episode last season there was a much funnier episode, balancing the tone.
This one, while still dealing with Peyton's worries about stalker Derek still being on the loose, focuses on Brooke and her affair with a guy who turns out to be her english teacher. Didn't see that coming. Also at the centre is the basketball team and Mouth's hilarious sidekick commentator Gigi who announces to him that she intends to ask him out.
Slowly getting through them but I'm keen to see where this is heading.

Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End

The third film in the Pirates Of The Caribbean

series `At World's End' sees the series continue its swashbuckling ways providing the humorous entertainment that you'd expect.
I have one large criticism: IT'S TOO LONG!
Clocking at at around 165 minutes, Pirates 3 is far too indulgent length-wise and this detracts from the overall film, as far as I'm concerned.
Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow again steals the film and there isn't enough of him. His first scene is disturbingly brilliant, taking talking to yourself to a whole new level. Geoffrey Rush is again excellent as Captain Barbossa and I'd say without this pair there'd be little to attract you to the series.
Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly (though she looks nice, and far too pristine to be a pirate king) are there for girls and guys respectively to look at but offer little and pale in comparison to the real stars.
I also think I suffered from not seeing the second film, which I will get around to eventually. In all it was enjoying but lengthy. A 7 out of 10.

Jump the shark

I stumbled across this great website Jump The Shark.com that tells you the exact point when your favourite show had passed its peak.
It's a homage to that ridiculous Happy Days moment when Fonzie jumped a shark on a waterski. The show was never the same again.
I'm happy to say that three of my favourites are in the `Never Jumped' hall of fame - The Simpsons, Friends and Buffy.

DDW 2007

This week is Digestive Disorders Week with a conference being held in Washington. At the centre of it is World Crohns And Colitis Day on Wednesday 23 May.
Not sure if there is anything going on here but I'd like to encourage any and all readers of this page to check out ACCA and make yourself aware of these conditions and how they can affect you.

OTH season 5 confirmed

The CW has confirmed that One Tree Hill will get a season 5!
This is obviously great news for fans like me. The series will skip forward four years and by-pass the traditional and usually boring `college years'.
Of course I have only seen four episodes of season 4 so far. But I am looking forward to seeing how the series stacks up with such a bold move.

Broadband

I have now entered the 21st century, having just successfully connected myself to broadband.

A worthy crusade

Next year a guy from Melbourne called Damian Watson is going to cycle the Tour De France course to raise money and awareness for research into Crohns Disease.
You can find out a bit more here. I wish him good luck.

Mad About You

Before Friends, there was Mad About You and it's finally been released on DVD for me to watch again.
I picked up season 1 a few days ago and have been going through the episodes in the spare time. It took one or two to get going but once it did it was a very funny and sweet show.
I always had kind of a crush on Helen Hunt from these days, her character Jamie was sweet but neurotic and passionate. Paul Reiser played his character for laughs but the best actor on the show was the dog Murray.
I just watched the classic where Jamie gets a new job and office and wants to celebrate the same day that Paul's film gets passed on by PBS. His `defeat party' was hilarious.
It's great to get to relive these classic programs.

Noise

Australian movies can be hit and miss - this one is a hit.
Noise is a whodunnit set in Melbourne where the focus isn't so much on working out who staged the gruesome muders at the start of the film - it becomes pretty obvious mid-film - rather it looks at how the people involved in finding the killer interact.
The film centres on Constable Graeme McGahan, played by Brendan Cowell. He's injured when he blacks out while on duty and the boss posts him on caravan duty `investigating' a murder which may or may not be connected to the one at the start of the film.
He's also been diagnosed with tinnitus, a severe ringing in his ears, and is somewhat of a reluctant policeman.
Cowell, who features in the excellent TV series Love My Way, carries this film and for it to work he has to. The good thing about him is he is extremely likeable.
As I said the focus of the film isn't the mystery trying to be solved. This is why the movie works. You see into the characters lives, particularly McGahan, and what makes him tick.
The other star of the film is the sound recorder. The sound leaves you feeling the tension that McGahan feels every second. A subtle ringing can be heard quite regularly.
The performance by Cowell is a revelation (although it surprises no-one given his efforts on Love My Way). The cast isn't perfect and neither is the script but they don't need to be. The flaws are more than made up for by the quality of the story and the acting and the feeling you get while watching it.
The film's end is a tad unresolved in some ways but after more thought I have decided it ended pretty well, albeit a shade suddenly.
A quality film and if you're looking for something a bit different this is ideal. An 8 out of 10.

Ray 101

As most introductory courses (at university) are listed as 101, I shall limit my list to that number. I'll be interested to see how interesting I am by the time I hit the century, so here goes....

1. I grew up in a country town.
2. I thought it was too small when I was younger.
3. Now the size and ease of travelling around (compared to Sydney) are some of the things I like about it when I visit.
4. I dislike country music, despite growing up in the country music capital.
5. One of my favourite CDs at the moment is by an American country band.
6. I have lived in Sydney for almost nine years but I still think of myself as a country boy.
7. I achieved my ultimate career goal seven years ago when I started working in horse racing reporting.
8. Despite that I really enjoy my job.
9. I became a proper Christian in 1999.
10. I'm not perfect.
11. I am far too organised.
12. Spontanaeity is not one of my stronger suits.
13. I can be impulsive at times, though.
14. I am single and most of the time quite like it (but not always).
15. I always thought I would be married by the time I was 26.
16. I am 32.
17. I have one sister and a nephew.
18. My nephew is very cool for a five-year-old and I want him to succeed in life.
19. I am sentimental and a romantic.
20. Sometimes I think I take things too seriously.
21. But I don't know how not to (if that makes sense).
22. I think the beach is something that should be looked at but not touched.
23. I am a self-confessed movie critic.
24. Last year I saw 31 films at the cinema.
25. The last movie I saw was Spider-Man 3.
26. My favourite film and the best film of 2006 was Brokeback Mountain.
27. My top five movies of all time are: Wonder Boys, High Fidelity, The Talented Mr Ripley, Shattered Glass and Good Will Hunting.
28. I am a sucker for romantic comedies.
29. I am a cat person.
30. If I ever own a dog it will be a husky or a german shepherd.
31. I am really good at table tennis.
32. My biggest vice is that I am a collector so I can't just have one CD by an artist I like or one movie or one season of a TV show.
33. My all-time favourite TV show is Friends.
34. I think Homer Simpson is the coolest, strangest, funniest and most offensive character on TV.
35. To me the funniest episodes and segments of the Simpsons are those that contain religious references.
36. My current favourite TV show is One Tree Hill.
37. Because it isn't on TV here the shows I love to watch are Heroes and Brothers & Sisters.
38. People think I watch too much TV.
39. When Friends was on, most people wouldn't ring me because they thought I wouldn't talk to them until it was over.
40. I almost did a business degree instead of journalism.
41. I have a phobia about magpies.
42. My `porn name' is Fluffy Woodwood (I'm sure everyone knows how these are derived).
43. I don't drink alcohol.
44. That is not entirely by choice.
45. I can't ski.
46. My favourite singer is Mariah Carey.
47. I have seen her in concert and her rendition of Hero as the final song almost brought me to tears.
48. That song is very special to me.
49. I think 80s music is great.
50. I think music today is fairly ordinary compared to the 80s-90s.
51. My favourite band is Lifehouse.
52. I have four favourite songs: Hero (Mariah), I'll Be There For You (Rembrandts), Crash And Burn (Savage Garden), Everything (Lifehouse).
53. My music taste is far too broad.
54. I own a New Kids On The Block CD and two Spice Girls CDs.
55. When I was a teenager I was grossly overweight.
56. I never liked that fact.
57. Most people think that number 55 is a an untruth, I assure you it is not.
58. I am idealistic.
59. Even though I really don't want to be, most of the time I am a `glass half empty' person.
60. I love going to and watching the horse races.
61. I think it is awesome that I get to get paid for this and that people pay attention to what I think about the races.
62. Until recently I was a tad ashamed of being good at what I do.
63. Since I have gotten over this I fear I come across as arrogant at times at work.
64. I don't know where the middle ground is with that issue.
65. I am not a competitive person unless it is something I know I am good at.
66. If I care about someone I make sure they know it.
67. I think life is too short for people not to know they are loved.
68. It bothers me that this side of me has been mistaken for something else in the past.
69. I care far too much what other people think.
70. Six months ago I had a breakdown at work.
71. It caused a health crisis and a bad bout of depression.
72. During this time I seriously considered quitting my job and doing nothing.
73. I learned the hard way that work doesn't come first.
74. The bad thing about loving my job is that I can't always switch off from it.
75. I am learning how to say no.
76. As a general rule I think church music is ordinary.
77. I love to feel inspired and moved by music in church.
78. This is why I love Hillsong music.
79. My faith in Jesus played a big role in pulling me out of depression earlier this year.
80. I am trying to read the bible more.
81. My friends are very important to me.
82. Lately I think I talk about myself too much.
83. I don't have a desire to travel overseas.
84. I did that a decade ago and had a great time.
85. When I was younger I wanted to live in the USA.
86. I cried at the end of It's A Wonderful Life.
87. And at the end of Pay It Forward.
88. In 2000 I was carry over champion for four nights on Wheel Of Fortune.
89. I won an island holiday, among other things, and went sandboarding.
90. I think we are far too reliant on email and SMS for communication these days and have lost the personal touch.
91. As much as I believe number 90 I still email and text more than phoning or visiting and I am trying to rectify that.
92. I'm very much a contact person.
93. That means I quite often touch someone I am talking to be it hand shake, pat on back, hand on a shoulder.
94. I'd like this to illustrate that I care about them.
95. I used to collect He-Man figures as a teenager.
96. I have never ridden a horse.
97. The Grand Canyon is the most amazing thing I have ever seen.
98. I have never been to Canberra, the nation's capital.
99. My favourite bible verse is Philippians 4:13.
100. It was sent to me by my best mate during a time of crisis to encourage me and I remember that verse every day.
101. If you want to know anything else just ask me.

First Time

Yesterday I had my first listen to the brand new Lifehouse track called `First Time'. They haven't lost it.
A new album is due out soon and now all we need is to get them to tour...

It's all coming back to me

Some people call it a rough patch, others call it wilderness. However you relate to a difficult period in your life, I've got to say that sometimes I think it is something you have to go through and other times I hope you never have to face.
I have found that a lot of things change, not just within yourself, when you are faced with such times. People react differently, and I know a bit about this.
When a major upheaval happens, and it can be anything it doesn't have to relate to illness or trauma, you change as a person. But the thing is other people don't change and some can't see that you are different, or at least altered.
In my life some people have been revelations. People I didn't really expect anything from have stepped up. Conversly people I did expect something from have disappared. That's a fact of life I suppose but it is never pleasant when you find out who your friends really are.
I don't hold anything against them. We are all faced with a choices when it comes to the people who are important in our lives and I'd much rather know where I stand than wonder.
So where am I at the moment? You know, sometimes I feel really good about things. I enjoy my work and while it still consumes more of my personal time that it should I am more wary of that than before.
Everyone has off days, and I have certainly had some. For me the off days are still hard to take because they remind me of the bad times just past.
At the same time it's not healthy to be always looking over my shoulder. I'm aware of the need to move forward but it isn't as easy at it sounds.
A few months back I thought the world was just going to swallow me up and in the really tough times I kind of wanted it to. Not good I know but that's how it felt.
I don't feel that way now, just so you know.
But during the last couple of months I have changed a few things, some temporarily, in an effort to rejuvenate myself.
I've attended a different church a bit. Looking for, I guess, the joy that is missing. While I won't find it in any building I have found a glimpse of the connection I guess I am seeking. Sometimes I still wonder why all this happened. I wonder whether things just happen at random. This of course clashes with my belief and faith in Jesus but it is something I concede I think about.
I've put a priority on relaxation, stress-reduction and enjoying things. Simple things I know but they are things that we don't prioritise in our lives until they are necessary.
This has been a long road back and one that is having its ups and downs. I sincerely hope it doesn't take too much longer. On one hand it has cost me six months or thereabouts, on the other it has the potential for creating a longer period of good health, not only physical but mental and emotional.
So that's where I stand. A little muddled, I realise, but really who has everything all worked out?

Listening to...

My current favourite songs are as follows...
1. How To Save A Life-The Fray
2. What Goes Around...Comes Around-Justin Timberlake
3. Little Wonders-Rob Thomas
4. This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race-Fall Out Boy
5. Steer-Missy Higgins

Not a lot of change apart from numbers 3 and 5 which are relatively new releases. That's more a reflection of the quality of music these days.
I'm still right into the Rascal Flatts CD I mentioned a while back. There are some great tracks there and a couple of amusing ones.

90210, season 2

I've just picked up season 2 of Beverly Hills 90210 and have knocked over a couple of episodes on my lazy Friday night in.
It is still showing its age a bit but isn't nearly as daggy as the first year.
In other news it was great to see the Building God's People show from Christians In The Media debut on the Christian Channel tonight. Still a shade rough around the edges but I am told that the production picks up markedly after a few episodes.
It didn't detract from the message and stands out among some of the more out there services that get a run on the channel.

Spider-Man 3

The dark side of Peter Parker is revealed in Spider-Man 3.
Beginning with a clever opening credits recap of the story so far, the film picks up with Peter (Tobey Maguire) and Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst)where we left off a few years back. Only unbeknownst to them a meteor has crashed nearby unleashing an alien being onto the planet and the back of Peter's scooter.
Elsewhere, Harry (an excellent James Franco) plots his revenge against Peter and we meet Flint Marko (Thomas Haden Church) who is transformed into the Sandman.
There's a lot going on in Spider-Man 3. The action really takes off when the alien being attaches itself to the spider suit, turning it black and unleashing the dark side of Peter Parker.
As his college professor points out, the black stuff enhances the personality of its host and there are some very funny scenes of Peter and his new found confidence, particularly with the ladies. What we also see is a need for revenge against Marko, who it turns out was the man who killed Ben Parker in the first movie (though we didn't see him).
We meet two new characters in Eddie Brock (a fantastic Topher Grace), a hotshot photographer who is Peter's competition for a staff job at the bugle and Gwen Stacy (Bryce Dallas Howard) who is Mary Jane's competition for Peter's affections.
When the alien, known as Venom, attaches itself to someone seeking vengeance we really have an awesome bad guy.
Like I said, there's a lot going on here. It could have been half an hour longer no problems and hopefully there is a director's cut for DVD.
My problem in rating this is that it was better than Spider-Man 2 (which I gave 9/10) but it's not the best movie I've seen this year.
I still have to give it 9 out of 10. It was entertaining, extremely well made and tailor made for fans, like myself. If you like the first two this doesn't disappoint. Let's just see if they leave it at three. One thinks they might not - if they have to go to four, we need the primary cast and crew back or we don't need another.

Jupiter

Some aweome pics of the New Horizons mission to Pluto, due to arrive there in 2015 by the way, of the amazing planet Jupiter of which the photo of this page is one.

The solar system and the universe are fascinating and mysterious and somehow seem not real, that we can be so unique that life can only exist here and nowhere else.

I like the idea that there could be another planet out there like Earth but if it is 440,000 years away then it doesn't seem worth pursuing.

But that's just me.

Heroes quote

While watching one of the best shows on the box I noticed this quote from my favourite character, Peter Petrelli.
`The people I love aren't distractions.'
Awesome.

Lost

I'm not really sure where I am at the moment.
Things have been shaken up so much in the first few months of the year and it still surprises me that it's May 1 already.
On a general level I think I am doing pretty well, then just when I convince myself of that something goes awry. Whether it was getting the cold a few weeks ago or some kind of small reminder of the panic attack days, there seems to be one thing or another to unsettle me.
This has led, among other things, for me to do a lot of questioning about what's going on.
I am well and truly able to function, this is a good thing, but there are times when, well, I can't. These are the really tough times. The hardest thing is that I don't think I truly understand what is going on and why my body and my mind seem to be at war.
Above everything else I just want to be me again. Happily, some days I am and they are the great ones. But give me a bad day and it will take a few to recover.
It's all getting a shade hard to handle. If you haven't seen me for a while rest assured I am okay, just struggling with `this whole thing'. I know it seems like that's been going on for a while.
Like I said, I'm just not sure where I am at the moment.