There's a scene in the classic film Six Degrees Of Separation where two Kandinsky paintings are featured representing chaos and control.
On one side the painting is geometric and ordered, on the other it is vivid and boundless.
They are meant to be contrasting but in reality the two ideas go together so well.
Chaos, disorder, uncertainty. These can all be exciting or scary situations.
Control, habituality, surety. They aren't all they are cracked up to be.
I should know. I've been trying to control things that are out of my control for a very long time and it gets frustrating.
I don't like the idea of randomness most of the time. Spontaneity doesn't scare me but I've always preferred to be prepared.
Have you ever noticed how people who err on the side of chaos seem to be less easily stressed, worry less and seem to enjoy themselves more readily.
Ever seen the episode of Seinfeld where George decides to do the opposite of everything he normally does? That George is confident and chaotic and gets everything the other George would never have a shot at.
So is it that simple?
I've had a situation at work lately that has bothered me a lot more than I have let on. On the surface it is something that I should just brush aside and forget about but it lingers. I think about it a lot more than I should.
I say I don't care what people think quite readily but, truth be told, I must care a lot more than even I'm aware of. It's part of needing to control things, even if it is subconsciously.
I was faced with a situation today where my phone packed it an and I had the choice of replacing it straight away or sending it away to be repaired. Not knowing if it could be, how long it would take or what it would cost I elected just to replace it. I can't believe that I can't go for a week or two without a mobile phone. Control, see?
I'd love to try chaos as a way of life and see if I can thrive.
Whether the control part of me allows it is another thing.
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