Making a change

It's not a matter of just want, or even need. I must change.

To put it very broadly, I'm 39 shortly and I'm not particularly happy with things.

Being a bit more specific, though, I need a whole change of attitude, of outlook and of shape.

It was actually last night when I looked at myself that it occurred to me that I'm not getting any younger and I'm starting to look it.

I've met a few people along the way, around my age and even a little older, who seem to have it right and I have to admit to a certain amount of envy and - to put it a weird way - desire.

And let's face it, sometimes I don't feel desirable.

There are no fountains of youth, I know that. But by looking after myself more I am certain I can turn some things around. It's not about age, by the way.

So the most immediate thing I can do is to make sure I am getting a decent amount of exercise every day. Be it simply by walking to the train station instead of driving or getting to the gym more (though that has proven tricky at times as I tend to keep getting an injury which stops me from going thus adding to the problem) it is a must.

I have done it before as well, eating a bit less and more of the good things plus consistent exercise and I should see results semi-quickly.

So that's one part.

I must have a different attitude when it comes to a number of things. Given I work in a largely negative atmosphere it is easy to let that slip under your skin.

It's hard to keep my mouth shut when I, quite regularly, encounter incompetence or just apathy. That too can get the better of you.

I've become a little reckless - or at least careless - in other more intimate areas and that's an issue at times. And I wonder what will happen when I fix the first problem - will it actually cause this one to snowball.

Probably a risk worth taking because health is important and it should go double for me. It's funny that during a period of a few years not too long ago I was not once concerned about weight increases and was focused on making sure I wasn't losing it (long story, genuine reasons).

I must ensure gambling isn't hampering my lifestyle. I very much enjoy a flutter and I know that one side of it is very much in control. Another side has proven problematic at times but someone said something last night that hit home a bit for me and, as much as I do enjoy the odd machine play (especially when you win) life would be a lot healthier if it can go.

My outlook isn't always great. Sometimes I feel like things go around in circles and while consistency is excellent it can also hold you back. There have been several consistencies in the last decade or so and I often wonder what might happen if one or two changed. Not that I've instigated any, though.

I know I can be better, have more vitality and enjoy myself.

This was the first step. 

The second step happens tomorrow morning.