It's funny how you can look back at what you've written previously, promised yourself I guess, and you realise that you did nothing about it.
All talk and no action.
So it seems I'm on a vicious circle posing as a merry-go-round.
This. Must. Stop. Here.
I've identified a few areas that have to change and, surprise surprise, they aren't new.
Thanks to an adverse reaction recently to trying something that was ill conceived in some ways I've gone back a few years. If only it were possible.
1. Attitude.
I've become a little grumpy, easily angered or annoyed, short fused if you will and it frustrates me greatly. Ultimately it is my reaction to outside forces that is responsible, not the forces themselves. Whether it is incompetence, apathy or ignorance of others it is up to me as to how I react.
And I react wrongly. I react in a way that only gets me flustered. This is not going to be an easy fix but I think it is the most important.
2. Focus
There are so many distractions out there. Quite often there are distractions from the things that distract us. Over the last year or so I've found my ability to focus on one task has diminished a bit and I feel it is the rise of many distractions that is contributing. Again this is not going to be an easy fix. Little things like taking the time to read the paper, read a novel will help.
3. Purpose
Am I interested in what I do? Sometimes I ask myself this question as it often seems like a real chore even though what I do for work is also a major hobby. Yes, I'm lucky in that respect and, given the number one problem, sometimes it is easy to forget that. But am I interested in anything else?
4. Straight and narrow
I've been battling a particular issue with gambling and at a time when I thought I had it right I ruined all the hard work I'd done and am back at square one with it. It serves no good purpose, and is one of the aforementioned distractions.
5. Don't be so afraid
Part of being in that vicious circle is it never lets you go until you force your way out. I haven't been good at that when it comes to particular worries/fears and it's proven costly in some respects.
That's a good start point. It's not easy to change but it's time to stop talking and to start some action.
