80's greats

During my flicking while having breakfast I came across the top 25 songs of 1986 (I didn't watch all of them). But one clip caught my eye. It's Samantha Fox's Touch Me (I want Your Body). If you want a flashback then watch the video.
Others in the countdown were We Built This City by Starship, Funky Town by Psuedo Echo and Addicted To Love by Robert Palmer.

Ikea

I had my first experience of the Ikea store down at Rhodes today.
And, excuse me I need to buy a vowel because O my God! I'm sure most people have been into an Ikea store, you know where you have to walk around in a particular direction. And there's all this amazing stuff that looks too good to go at your place.
It kind of reminds me of Fight Club where Edward Norton, talking about how he has bought everything out of this trendy catalogue, says `you start to think about what kind of coffee table defines you as a person' (or something like that).
Anyway, my amazement aside, for the record I bought a DVD cabinet and a rug.

All in the mind?

I'm beginning to wonder whether a lot of my troubles at the moment are all in the mind.
The strange thing about it is there doesn't seem to be a reason. Am I worried/stressed/anxious about the fact that I feel run down and tired?
Does that cause the occasional tight feeling in the chest or sporadic rushes I feel in that area.
I saw a Chinese doctor today and he concluded that there was unlikely to be any structural problems but said my pulse was fast and a shade weak. He suggested movement and I might well go for a session of acupuncture in a couple of days.
He also suggested getting an ECG just to make sure there's nothing wrong, while I haven't had one for quite a while I would have thought the blood tests and physical check I had about 10 days ago would have raised a flag if there was something there.
The thing about anxiety is that it can be a vicious circle and you can become anxious about being anxious. This is what is leading me to believe it's all in my head.

Coming home

It's hard to believe it's been a week but tomorrow I head back to Sydney.
It has been an interesting time, filled with ridiculously hot weather (about 39 degrees yesterday), not a lot of activity and what I think has been several bouts of anxiety.
I have done a few things to try and curb the anxiety including a couple of really good sessions of remedial massage. The first one was on Friday and made me feel really good for about a day and a half until Sunday's unpleasantness.
Another session today hopefully will see some improvement. I was told that I probably needed a third to see things improve even more. So I'll look into that when I get back.
The weather has been the hardest to handle, it's such a dry heat and it saps the energy right out of you. Fortunately the nights haven't been as bad as they can be with the temperature cooling off a bit, at least enough to get some sleep.
I've watched all but one of the 12 season two episodes of Love My Way and the standard is as I expected. I've also watched four more new episodes of Lost, which just leaves me wanting more but I have to wait until next year to see what happens. The other show that I have sampled has been Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip, which stars Matthew Perry. It's not a comedy exactly from what I have seen but looks promising, although the first episode was a bit slow.
I can't say whether I have fully recovered yet, probably not, but hopefully the improvement can continue and I can get a handle on the pesky anxiety symptoms. See ya soon.

Love My Way

I've just purchased season 2 of the outstanding Australian drama Love My Way for my viewing pleasure in the coming week.
If you haven't seen it, it is probably because Love My Way isn't shown on free-to-air TV and is exclusively housed on Foxtel. This is one of the great oversights by Australian TV, that easily the best drama series since The Secret Life Of Us isn't available to everyone.
I won't spoil the plot of season 1, which was amazing, and I can't spoil the the plot of season 2 because I haven't yet seen it but I am very much looking forward to it.
I have been challenged to give The O.C a go and I'm not entirely sure. This is mainly because I am so convinced I won't like it.

The good news

Well the good news is that the blood tests showed nothing seriously wrong that we didn't already know about. So I've been instructed to go and enjoy my break and I should be back to 100 per cent.
That is excellent. I wasn't particularly worried about these tests but it's always good to get an all clear. I've just been advised though to ensure I don't go so long between breaks next time.
Anyway I'm heading out of Sydney tomorrow for a week. I may well go somewhere else as well but first priority is to get away from the madness here and into a much quieter environment.
There's something to be said for being able to go all the way across a town without hitting a traffic light - that is the sort of serenity ahead.
Also it is my nephew's fifth birthday on Wednesday so it will be great to be there for that since the only other time I've been around on his birthday was the day he was born. Man they grow up fast!

Mixed blessings

I had rather a pleasant day over at a friend's place for most of the day, chatting, having lunch outdoors and watching some classic Friends episodes for a laugh.
Just what I needed. Despite feeling like I'd been hit by a bus when I got up this morning the day turned out to be good on the whole.
I called into work late in the day to tidy up and stuff at my desk and had an unpleasant conversation with one of the guys I work with. I can't believe all he could think about was how me not being there affects him. When you've worked in the same place for a long time you'd think some level of care would be evident in the people you work with. I wasn't happy to say the least. The last thing I want to do is be made feel bad about needing a break.
Then I went to church. I can't remember the last time I went and left smiling and not feeling frustrated and uncared for. It's hard enough dealing with everything that's going on. Maybe I should have went to Hillsong, while the sense of being uplifted from there tends to be artifical I'd have been happy to accept that.
I just get the sense people are sick of hearing about the health issues, and I definitely got that sense tonight. That was disappointing. I'm certainly not having fun living with these things and would give anything, almost, to not have to handle it.
Perhaps all this is coming out of the frustration of feeling worn out and will pass in time.

A Trooper

Stuff me mushrooms! Over at Urban Stone Jono has started his top 5 crap movies with a doozy.

By the way, I have comment moderation turned on. Feel free to comment on anything and everything and be rest assured I am not that picky, just a couple of bothersome contributors have forced me into taking this action. I'll advise if and when I turn it off.

How to get your groove back

As of today I am on enforced leave. Enforced by my doctor who concluded much of what I suspected a while back, that I am exhausted and run down and need a break.
So he gave me one. I've never taken sick leave before but as of now I'm on two weeks leave which overlaps with my annual leave that is supposed to start in about 10 days.
I'm not sure where I stand with that and will find out on Monday but I am assuming that means I have three weeks to recover, relax and recharge.
I've got to say it is a big relief. I feel physically exhausted and mentally/emotionally I'm just about at the end of the rope. There has been too much stress, both from external forces (i.e. work and other issues) and from inner forces (like health issues and anxiety).
So I've been told to stop.
Well being is by far the most important thing and hopefully now I can start to unwind a bit, sleep properly and heal.
I've acted quickly and planned a trip away for a week starting in a few days time after some things are taken care of (blood tests and signing off on the sick leave at work).
I don't think I have gone so long (it's been about seven months) without getting out of Sydney for a while and it's important that I get away from the rat-race. It really does get to me some times.
I usually feel bad about being away from work, even when I am unwell, so I have to let go of that. Priorities have to be looked at and plans put in place to ensure this doesn't happen again.

Trusting in tough times

The question was posed over at 10,000 Words about how can we resolve to trust God when times are tough.
I think I know something about this subject.

Times have been tough for a while now. There have been some good times but the hard times seem to be always lurking. It's easy to point the finger at God and say `you did this'. It's so easy I reckon I could confidently say we've all done it at some point. It's at the heart of the question most non-Christians, and some believers at times, can't help but ask - why would God allow bad things to happen?
I did my share of finger pointing a while back but at the end of the day God didn't cause my problems. In every way though he offers solutions. They aren't always easy to see though.

1Peter4 says `do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ'.

Most of the time I'm in pretty heavy denial about the trials I have faced lately. I won't always admit that but it's all too true. I guess that hasn't made it easy to overcome them. But if I don't trust that God is working in my life then what point is there? That's the way I see it. Giving up is not an option. It's tempting but if the alternative to fighting is losing then you have to fight.
That's way easier said than done though, and don't let anyone try to tell you it's easy.

Trusting God isn't as easy as trusting a person, I think. You can tell, eventually, if a person isn't trustworthy. God is there for the long haul and is ultimately working for your good so I have to have a bigger picture view of God as opposed to a friend. God gives you strength beyond what you believe capable, and he has shown me some amazing things during my times of trial. Things that you could put down to coincindence I guess but that were certainly not chance events, in my view.

I like reading James when times are tough. I don't always turn to it like I should.
James 1:2-6a`Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverence. Perseverence must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks he must believe and not doubt...'

I don't claim to have all the answers. I don't even claim that I seek God's help first. I wish I was that disciplined. But I am human and am flawed. There are a few songs I like to play to remind me about God's grace and how we should depend on him at these times. Songs like My Saving Grace and Hero by Mariah Carey, Chris Tomlin's Indescribable, Made Me Glad by Hillsong (you are my strength, my shield, my portion, deliverer etc), and several Jeremy Camp songs In Your Presence, Nothing Else I Need and a couple of his recent ones Beyond Measure and When You Are Near. A couple of Delta Goodrem's songs, Be Strong and Electric Storm and Shannon Noll's Lift, Savage Garden's Crash And Burn also have that effect even though they aren't Christian artists.
If you just trust God when times get tough though you're only giving him half your heart. God wants to rejoice with us in good times as well.

Disappearing

It's all for a good reason
That's what I tell myself
It's hard not to listen
When you're the only voice around
All in the mind
Out of reach, protected
Disaffected
They come and they go
You learn to adapt
It comes down to what you believe
People always leave
Give it time
Have some patience
They always come back
When all is well
Sometimes it's so hard to see
Even harder to believe
I know I'm not invisible
But am I disappearing

The Simpsons movie

Caught the trailer for The Simpsons movie the other day.
It didn't show you much but what it did show was pretty funny. The release date isn't until July 27 next year so it's safe to assume there's a bit to be done yet.
The bar is awfully high for this film, given 18 seasons of hilarity on TV. I note season 9 is close to being released.

Time out

The last few days have been interesting.
I still don't feel 100 per cent and am beginning to think it's not just a bug. While the system seems to be working properly again I'm not convinced it has passed. Perhaps that is just me being overly cautious and too worried.
Unfortunately with this kind of thing it is a little hard to tell most of the time, unless there is some obvious sign. At least today I have been able to eat somewhat normally.
Tomorrow will tell me a lot, I think, as I go back to work (touch wood). I'd like to believe that all this is because of burn out, exhaustion. I've only got a week and a half until my holidays and hopefully I can hold out until then.
In the meantime I have been trying to relax. Today I had massage, which was awesome, and I watched Cars again. It's a really great movie and very touching as well. I've also rediscovered Joey, which will never be as good as Friends but I still find it pretty funny.

Snow Patrol

On the recommendation of a friend I picked up the latest Snow Patrol CD, called Eyes Open.
I don't usually buy music sight unseen, or in this case unheard, but I've got to say I like what I hear. Until recently I'd never hearc of them but apparently they have been around a while and Eyes Open is far from their first release.
They're from Northern Ireland and have been described as somewhere between U2 and Coldplay and while I won't buy into that I think that is the ball park we're talking about.
On first listen I love the song `Make This Go On Forever', it's very anthemic. I suspect this CD will get better with more listens.

Coming soon...

Thanks to my US correspondent, season 3 of One Tree Hill (and its attractive blue cover) is on its way to me. Hopefully I should take delivery by midweek or so. Can't wait to get back into it, it's addictive.
I've gone back to season 1 as far as viewing in my downtime, since I've finished 90210's first season. (Just on that, it was great going back to the mother of all high school drama. Bring on number two).

Just for a laugh, the Simpsons of course

One of the funniest clips from the Simpsons, from the epsidode `Lisa Gets An `A'', where Homer makes a grave discovery involving his pet lobster, Pinchy.
What unfolds is classic Homer. Enjoy, I think we all need a laugh!

Sad day

I was saddened to hear of the death of Belinda Emmett, who was just 32, from cancer.
It shakes you up when you realise that people around your age aren't invicible and that these sort of things do happen. It still doesn't seem real.
I didn't know her but she was a public figure and seemingly a very good person. It's an immense shame that this has happened.

On another gloomy note (gee aren't I full of good news today), my mother is back in hospital from what appears to have been angina.
I won't find out the results of a few tests that she had until tonight but when I spoke to her this morning she seemed in good spirits. I don't like getting late night phone calls with this sort of news but I guess it is better than finding out the next day, which has happened a couple of times. I think she went back to work too quickly after the last time.
Please pray that she recovers well and can relax a bit. And that I can relax a bit, I'm not liking all the stress at the moment.

Everything: you've heard me rave about it, now listen for yourself

Thanks to the wonderous YouTube you can now listen to the song, Everything by Lifehouse, that I have been going on about on this blog for a while. It's not a video clip as such but the lyrics do scroll across as the song plays.
So if you've got six minutes to spare, sit back and be drawn into what I see as one of the most powerful worship songs I've ever heard.
And let me know what you think.

Downloads

I've just finished listening to last week's sermon from 1 Peter 3, that you can find here having not been able to make it to church last weekend.
It's one of the great things about technology though it doesn't quite make up for being there in person.

Too much detail

I've just returned from the doctor after being struck down by a bug - and I feel pretty crummy at the moment.
It's the kind of bug that has me concerned about the possibility of a relapse.
Fortunately, at this stage, it appears to not be that. I raised the question with the doctor and she said, after some examination, that it was her view that it is just a bug. Hopefully it can settle down quickly, I hate feeling like this.
I suspect I will know in a day or two whether it is one or the other.

Revelations

Something occurred to me the other day.
I was reading an article about climate change and global warming and it struck me that the things I worry about are nothing. Nothing, that is, compared to what people might have to deal with in 50 to 100 years time.
In some areas of my life I am so afraid of change, despite having denied that fact at least once this year. I have become so accustomed to life as it is now that it seems like I've moved myself into this comfortable little corner. The problem is that it is suffocating.
That's a gloomy description, I know. But I have spent far too much time in damage control. Something has to happen and happen soon. I can't allow myself to be dominated by, if you know what I mean, internal (physically) stuff that I have very little control over.
So while I am sitting around just making sure that everything is under my control another year has slipped by. 2006 has only six or seven weeks to go and, at this stage, 2007 is looking pretty much the same as the last.
Surviving is no good if you aren't living and I've allowed my boundaries to get so cramped that most of the time that is all I am doing. Make no mistake proposing any kind of alteration to the status quo is very much easier said than done.
I can't just all of a sudden become reckless.
But it's a little tough to think about stepping off a ledge when you're not sure that someone will be there to catch you.
I just don't want to be sitting at my computer in November 2007 and wondering what happened to the year and why I didn't do one thing or another.

Beyond Measure - the review

Jeremy Camp delivers his new CD, Beyond Measure, and it doesn't disappoint. Personally, I didn't think it would be below par because everything he has done to date has been awesome.
On his fourth album he delves into some personal material, particularly on the title track Beyond Measure, a song that reminds us that we should be grateful for all God has given us.
`I've faced a great tragedy, but have seen the works of what you bring, A display of faith that you give, I don't know if I will ever understand the depth of what it is you've done inside, but I know I won't find any worth apart from you''.
On one and a half listens my favourite tracks are Beyond Measure, Everything, Tonight, What It Means and When You Are Near, which very interestingly was co-written by Jason Wade of Lifehouse.
Once I saw that writing credit my expectation shot up and the song didn't let me down. I was kind of hoping that the track Everything was a cover of the Lifehouse song, I'd love to see someone like Jeremy Camp, a recognised Christian artist, do a take on my favourite secular Christian song.
The verdict is simple, if you like Jeremy Camp you'll definitely like this CD. If you haven't heard of him before you've got to start with the Stay album, it's a ripper. (Not that this one isn't a good example it's just hard to vigorously recommend something you've only heard once all the way through, at this stage).
Now all we need is an Australian tour....

The Manamana song

This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. We all know how it goes, just sit back, sing along and have a laugh.

Melbourne Cup

With just a couple of days until the great race I present my thoughts on who will win, in my opinion.*
Having tipped the last three winners of the Cup (the same horse each year) there is some pressure to make it four in a row. This will no be easy task because I think it is one of the most open Melbourne Cups in many years. I also think there is a good chance an international racehorse will win.
So my tips are:
1. Yeats
2. Delta Blues
24. Efficient
18. Art Success
Yeats is an Irish horse who is rated as a much better racehorse than Media Puzzle and Vintage Crop, the only two foreign horses to win the Cup and both Irish horses. I think if he has settled in well and gets away okay he should be in the finish, he is too good a horse not to show up somewhere.
Delta Blues is a Japanese horse who ran third in the Caulfield Cup. His 3200m form is excellent and I think he should run very well.
Efficient is a three-year-old and will be having only his seventh race start on Tuesday. He won the Derby on Saturday like a potential champion and even though the last of his age to win the Melbourne Cup was in 1941 I think he has an outstanding chance.
Art Success is my longshot. He won the Brisbane Cup this year and has been going fairly well. I don't think he can win the race but almost every year a longshot runs a place and he could be the one this year.

* I don't actually know who will win, I'm neither a psychic or any kind of visionary, and if I did I wouldn't tell the whole world or need to have a job!

The Diva

"Go and find the smallest child on this course and there will be the only example of a person who will live long enough to see that again. '' - Lee Freedman

I've been fortunate to see some great racehorses over the last 10 years or so but count myself even more fortunate to have seen Makybe Diva.
The above quote was from the trainer, Lee Freedman, who said those words when interviewed shortly after the mare won her third consecutive Melbourne Cup.
He was spot on. But he could have gone further because that will never, ever, happen again.
The Diva: A Champion becomes a Legend is the DVD telling her story and having just finished watching it I can say she was truly something special.
Non-racing people wouldn't really get it, but for me seeing a horse like her do what she did on the racetrack is breathtaking. Every time I hear the race call of the 2005 Melbourne Cup I almost choke up, it's where the DVD's title comes from - `and a champion become a legend'.
The DVD is actually quite good, although it doesn't have the interview with Freedman where he makes the remark I have quoted or the announcement of her retirement in the acceptance speech. These are small things but I think they would have added to the story.
Tuesday (that's Melbourne Cup day) won't be quite the same without the Diva.

The top five crap movies I love

This is an interesting concept started over at Urban Stone where the challenge is to name the top five movies that you love but can admit are crap.
Now according to some people I should have many movies to choose from as apparently I see a lot of crap films. Then there's the theory, which sounds better to me, that I don't see crap movies.
You decide for yourself (in no particular order).

1. Dude, Where's My Car? - Two dimwitted guys go on a ridiculous quest for their missing car after a huge night out. With Ashton Kutcher and Sean Willianm Scott as Jesse and Chester this is a really awful film but one which I found so funny I can't tell you. Included are `hot chicks', weird sci-fi geeks, transsexual strippers and gift breast enhancements. I really shouldn't like this film at all but, what can I say - shibby!


2. Dumb And Dumber- Even though Jim Carrey is in this and he has done quality films, this is easily the most ridiculous. Lloyd and Harry go on a cross-country journey to return a suitcase to a woman. That's basically the plot. Like Dude, this a really a dodgy idea but it is brilliantly played and does have many roll in the isles moments. My favourite is the `I'm going to kill you, Lloyd' scene. This is also one of my favourite movies.


3. The Pirate Movie- I love musicals and I really enjoyed this one but it's a very crap film. Kristy McNicol and Christopher Atkins star in this loose remake of the Pirates Of Penzance and it was actually filmed in Australia. The songs are corny, especially Atkins' `How Can I Live Without Her' and the `Happy Ending' bit but I'm a sucker for these type of films. Grease had much more class, as did Chicago and The Producers.


4. I Know What You Did Last Summer - One of the early slasher flicks (I was going to include Scream but have been convinced that it was way too classy) notable for, if nothing else, Jennifer Love Hewitt. A bunch of teens run over a guy on a remote road and leave him for dead by tossing him in the ocean. A year later someone is out to get the foursome, one by one, with a fisherman's slick and a hook as the scary elements. I'm not sure how it holds up now as I haven't watched it in a while. An ordinary film but strangely fun.


5. Spiceworld - yes, it's the Spice Girls movie. It's really, really bad. The movie follows the Spice Girl and their entourage as they go on a quest to become pop stars, or something like that. Meat Loaf is actually in this film as their bus driver. I can't really explain myself here, I guess it's just one of those inexplicable things. I actually own this on video. Go figure.

Beverly Hills, 90210

My favourite show as a younger person and still the benchmark for the high school drama, despite my love of One Tree Hill, is Beverly Hills 90210.
Go on, admit that you used to watch it!
Well season 1 gets a DVD release today and I'll be heading out to get a copy later today. I can't wait to get back into it. The void of decent TV actually on TV will no longer be there.
I always thought 90210 was unparalelled for about the first six seasons until Shannen Doherty left, then it started a downhill slide. But up until then it was compulsory viewing and you didn't care that they in no way looked like teenagers (particularly Luke Perry).

Also out today is `The Diva: A champion becomes a legend', the story of three time Melbourne Cup winner Makybe Diva. Out just in time for Cup week.