Mateship

An interesting article caught my eye in the Sunday Life magazine (in the Sun-Herald) today about what mateship, or male friendship, means today.
It says (paraphrased a bit) `as most men would surely attest, mates are not only good for their cheer and a stubby of beer but they will come through for you when the chips are down. But how many male friendships, when stripped of such cliched idealisation, stand up to closer scrutiny? Men show affection to their mates by taking the (mickey) and putting them in headlocks after closing time. If this is true what does it say about the nature of mateship? Is a mate all he is cracked up to be if he's not someone with whom a man can genuinely upend the contents of his heart?'
I take every friendship I have seriously and have had to depend on my `mates' to get through some hard times. Who hasn't? Admittedly, at times it is hard to open up. But behind any facade there is a genuine desire to connect.
It's probaby a part of the Aussie tradition that you have fun with your mates and you keep everything you're feeling to yourself. This, however, is 2006 and things are changing. You read all the time that it is becoming acceptable to be open and frank about things.
I'd like to think that any friend of mine can come and talk to me about any topic, and there are several people whom I know I can approach as well. I suppose as Christians we should be looking at this topic in a different way to the article I read. I mean, they are writing from a non-Christian perspective and to an audience of similar disposition.
The article explores the topic of intimacy in male friendships and I think this word is unhelpful. I think this because intimacy is something I feel is reserved for romantic relationships. I could be wrong but it just sounds bad. I get what they are saying though, that there isn't a sense of closeness, or brotherly love, among men in general.
The article concludes that men seem happy with the status quo. `While he concedes his friendships are devoid of conversational intimacy, one 32-year-old says ``this doesn't mean we don't support each other or care for each other''.
I think that's a bit of a cop-out. I'd feel horribly isolated if, during a tough time, a mate wanted to hang out but didn't want to address the issue at hand, regardless of whether I wanted to talk or not. As Christians we are encouraged to spur each other on, build each other up and encourage in our daily lives. If we're not there for each other, who will be?

The top 10 Friends episodes

This is a really difficult exercise, to pick between 216 excellent episodes of my all-time favourite show. But I've managed to cull them to a top 10, with highlights of the top five including a best quote.
1. The One With The Blackout (season 1)
I kept coming back to this one as the standout episode. Mainly because it goes a long way to establishing the characters and they stick through all 10 seasons. Chandler is trapped in an ATM vestibule with model Jill Goodacre and produces the big highlight: Chandler: You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. [thinking]'Gum would be perfection'? 'Gum would be perfection.' Could have said, 'gum would be nice,' or, 'I'll have a stick,' but no-no-no-no-no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.
Elsewhere, Joey tells Ross he is in the `Friend Zone' with Rachel and will never be with her.
2. The One Where No-One's Ready (season 3)
This episode is done in real time, in that it starts 20 minutes before they leave for a dinner where Ross is speaking. Chandler and Joey fight over who was sitting in the chair, Monica obsesses over a message from an ex-boyfriend, Ross and Rachel fight over what she should wear.
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is: You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!
Joey: Look at me--I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando!
3. The One Where Everybody Finds Out (season 5)
As the title suggests, everyone has discovered Monica and Chandler's secret relationship in one way or another. But instead of telling them they know, Phoebe and Rachel decide to play a game with them which results in Phoebe hitting on Chandler with an hilarious climax where Chandler declares he's in love with Monica.
Phoebe: They thought they could mess with us! They're trying to mess with us? They don't know that we know they know we know! And Joey, you can't say anything!
Joey: I couldn't if I wanted too.
4. The One With Chandler In A Box (season 4)
Joey is angry at Chandler because he was the guy that his girlfriend, Kathy, cheated on him with. So, as punishment Joey decides Chandler should spent time in a box to think about what he has done and to show him how much of a friend Joey is. This stemmed from when Joey was tricked into getting into a cupboard by a would-be robber who then stole all their belongings. Very funny and touching at the same time.
Ross: Hey, you know, Mon, if things works out with you and Richard's son, you'll be able to tell your kids that you slept with their grandfather.
Monica: Fine, judge all you want to, but (pointing at Ross, then Rachel, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler, in the box)... Married a lesbian; Left a man at the altar; Fell in love with a gay ice dancer; Threw a girl's wooden leg in the fire; Livin' in a box!
5. The One With The Male Nanny (season 9).
Ross and Rachel are looking for a nanny and a guy called Sandy (Freddy Prinze Jr) applies and is successful. But Ross remains uncomfortable that a guy could be a nanny. The really funny part is where Joey and Sandy strike up a friendship based on Joey's desire to learn life lessons. There's a great scene where Joey wants to be (hand-puppet) Mr Wigglemunch while Ross should play The Grumpace (much to his disgust). Well I liked it anyway.
Sandy [as unnamed puppet]: And what's the one kind of boat they can never, ever sink?
Joey [as Mr. Wigglemunch]: What kind?
Sandy [as puppet]: A Friendship.
Joey: Wow, you blow my mind.
6. The One With The Embryos (season 4)
7. The One With The Halloween Party (season 8)
8. The One Where Monica And Richard Are Friends (season 3)
9. The One With Phoebe's Husband (season 2)
10. The One Where Ross And Rachel...You Know (season 2).

Attack of the mind

A couple of nights ago I had a bit of an anxiety attack.
It caught me by surprise as it had been a while since the last one.
The strange thing about anxiety is, to me, it's not rational or it doesn't seem to be. I've had times when there isn't anything happening for me to be anxious about yet I feel the symptoms. That's when it gets really confusing.
In my situation the other night I knew there was little likelihood of what was going on in my mind actually happening but I felt powerless to stop it.
As a consequence I couldn't sleep.
My mind was racing and as much as I tried to control it things spiralled. My awareness of everything was raised, I could feel strange sensations in the chest (not pain) and I was very aware of my breathing.
Eventually I kind of broke down. Sometimes I border on stoic but when you're like that things tend to build up and I guess I reached the threshold. I'm also a lot more emotional that I let on most of the time.
Anyway, after all that I slept quite well.
It was nowhere as bad as last time suggesting I might have a better handle on things now. Still, it's not pleasant. I was more prone to bouts of anxiety last year when things were much, much worse.

Jindabyne

Ray Lawrence had a lot to live up to. His first movie since the acclaimed Lantana, probably the best Australian movie ever, was probably on a hiding to nothing.
He gave it his best shot with Jindabyne, but he just slipped up somewhere along the way.
I can't quite put my finger on what was missing.
Before that I should say the movie is about four men and their wives/girlfriends and how the events of a weekend fishing trip changed their lives and the town of Jindabyne.
The performances are outstanding but you wouldn't expect any less from the likes of Gabriel Byrne and Laura Linney, who are the leads. The only strange thing about them is he's playing an Irishman and she's clearly American, yet the film is distinctly Australian.
Any movie based on a short story is risky because there isn't much to work with and I think that is where Jindabyne suffered. It was too long, or it took too long before the mystery of the movie began.
Of course there is the divide between men and women being explored here as well. But it's not so explicit, and even though it is arguable whether it needs to be I didn't feel that was what the movie was about as such.
In Lantana you were hooked fairly early in the piece and while Jindabyne does borrow from the style of introducing you to what has happened before the characters find out it's far less effective. The scenery is exceptional and the soundtrack is haunting but the on-screen action doesn't have the same pace.
A good film, very well acted and shot but it suffered from focusing too much time on minor characters that went nowhere and too little time on the real story being told. There was plenty of racial tension, which I haven't seen in many Australian films, and it was well handled but could have been a larger part of the story.
Maybe I was expecting too much, based on fairly wholesale praise for the film, but I was a shade let down. A 7/10.

Tipping comp climax

This coming weekend is the last in the racing season and, thus, our office tipping competition will come to an end (with a new one starting up next week for the new season).
I currently hold a six win lead over the nearest competition. I also hold a four win lead over `most favoured' which is the sum of everyone's tips from our office (about 15 people).
So it looks like I'm home, for my fourth title in the last five years (everyone's allowed an off-year).
Anyway, my tips for the final race meeting of the season, at Warwick Farm on Saturday are:
Race 1 - Striking Victory
Race 2 - Stormpede
Race 3 - Rosecutter
Race 4 - Megabucks
Race 5 - Fire Song
Race 6 - Intramuros
Race 7 - Laylia
Race 8 - Hippona

Some more stories

I've been busy, and as a consequence have had a few more articles published.
The first one is about a young jockey and you can find it here
The second is about a racehorse with a funny name which is part owned by Ian Thorpe, it's here

OTH: The beginner's guide

OK, so I'm not proud of myself but I snuck a look at the next episode of One Tree Hill season 3 today (episode 5, still have episode 6 to tide us over until early October when the box seat will be available).
Titled `A Multitude Of Casualties', the episode answered at least one of my questions from a while ago: it seems that Ellie does really have breast cancer. And apparently Whitey's first name is Brian, I can't believe that hadn't come up before.
Anyway, since at least one person has expressed some interest in watching OTH (hi Lairdy!) I present a short beginner's guide.
The show centres on two half-brothers Lucas (Chad Michael Murray) and Nathan (James Lafferty). Lucas has been raised by a single mother Karen (Moira Kelly). Nathan is the star of the Tree Hill Ravens basketball team. Lucas is the star of the local park basketball players. Their worlds collide when Lucas is recruited to play for the Ravens. Their father Dan was the Ravens' star back in his high school days and is reliving those days through Nathan. The pilot episode introduces Peyton (Hilary Burton) as Nathan's girlfriend and Haley (Bethany Joy Lenz) as Lucas's best friend. We also get introduced to the wonderful Mouth (Lee Norris), who commentates on the basketball games for his podcasts. Brooke (Sophia Bush) isn't introduced until episode two.
That's about all the background you need.
I haven't been this into a TV show since Friends became appointment television from 1996 and OTH would also be categorised as appointment TV if it was actually on TV here. Thank God for DVD!

Issues

I had an interesting chat with a new friend last week that raised a few things for me.
First off I wondered whether I think too much and act too little. I've often worked out the worst case scenario for just about anything and worked backwards from there to try and avoid it. Smart, hey!?!
Of all people, I heard some words of wisdom from Brian Houston the other day. He said that bad things happen to everybody. What makes some people different from others was that some let the bad thing rule their life while others seem to adapt and step forward.
I definitely am falling into the former category at this point.
Anyway, the guy I was speaking to said that the way he looks at things was, basically, that he just got down on his knees and asked God to guide him. And he does it any time something gets tough. I think that's the messge (it was several days ago now and I don't remember word for word what he said) that you have to allow God to rule your life.
I found it very encouraging, in fact every time I speak to him I feel encouraged and, to date, only two people in my life have that affect on me. Hopefully that number continues to grow.
Which brings me to another topic. It appears I have trouble connecting with people. I'm hoping my friends out there will let me know their thoughts on this. Do I seem disconnected sometimes when I talking with you?
This came up a couple of weeks ago. I often feel that there is a divide between me and other people, sometimes it seems tangible, and I can't work out whether it is me being defensive sub-consciously.
During the big struggle of last year I felt and thought seriously that there must be something wrong with me because it seemed that I was untouchable, even when it was clear I needed some comfort. I find this has spilled over into the present.
Trying to overcome all of this is part of my attempt to become a `real boy' as it were.
Oh, and the issue with a friend I was concerned about a few days ago has been resolved. I still feel a little bad but I have realised that I wasn't being as good a friend as I should have been. That won't happen again.

A good story...

Sometimes my job can be difficult and I don't enjoy it. But sometimes you get to do some great stories. I was lucky enough to get one of those this weekend.
Check it out here

CD's revisited: Lifehouse's Stanley Climbfall

We go back only a few years to 2002 for the latest in my series on `classic' CDs to Lifehouse's second album `Stanley Climbfall'.
It's unfortunate that when you have as massive a hit as they did with Hanging By A Moment that the next CD is largely ignored. That was the case with this one even thought the band did tour here briefly with the M-One concert series.
The title track is an intruiging one and is derived from a song which I believe was originally titled `Stand, Climb, Fall' and is one of the better tracks on what is a pretty good follow up to a flawless debut (in my view). Lyrics include: `Quiet, a sound you know so well, you're living just to make it through another day, stand climb and fall, carry the world, you can't carry on your own...And I'm at the end of myself, anything you want, and nothing seems to satisfy me, take anything you want''.
The opening track `Spin' is about the ups and downs of life, the song `Anchor' really surprised me and it's about God being your anchor, what keeps you grounded.
In keeping with the tradition of No Name Face, Lifehouse ends this CD with the best song, called `The Beginning'. It's a simple song but also a complex one. It describes a life journey and looking forward to heaven, I have come to believe.
`Hello from the world below, I'm watching the sun burning, as the load is slowly turning, I know that in letting go, I'm learning how to live, through a life I have to give.'
On one hand it's a shame this CD wasn't a huge commercial success because it deserves to me, but on the other hand I'm priveliged to own it because it's great. Come to think of it, I could say the same about their third CD and I probably have somewhere along the way.

Random thoughts and comments

I'm feeling a little out of sorts tonight.
I'm trying to keep a lid on the stress from work that has been toying with me for the last three weeks and that, hopefully, will fade away later this week when my job returns to `normal'.
I fear that I have alienated a friend who I consider a very good mate, and someone who really gives me a lift when I need one just by speaking to him. It's not really a long story but he called me a couple of days ago and I was really distracted and wasn't concentrating on what he was saying. I think he may have thought I was disinterested and my housemate often says I have a `cold' phone manner at times. I have apologised for it by way of a voice mail message but, as yet I haven't heard back.
I am frustrated by recurring feelings of alienation from my church family.
I'm disappointed that I can't go on the church weekend away, thus making me feel more removed. It doesn't help that I have to work but given the weekend is a good few hours away it makes dropping in unrealistic.
I feel fairly good, health wise, but still feel damaged. This makes the prospect of such trips away a much bigger deal.
I know that I'm feeling out of sorts because I find myself listening to songs that I shouldn't, that don't do good things for my mood.
Some of those songs are: Weathered by Creed; Untitled (How Could This Happen To Me?) by Simple Plan; I Don't Know You Anymore by Savage Garden; The Freshmen by The Verve Pipe; Close My Eyes by Mariah Carey; Unlovable by Darren Hayes; Bring Me To Life by Evanescence; and All I Want Is Everything by Def Leppard.

Brokeback Mountain

A lot has already been written and said about Brokeback Mountain but after viewing it for the second time this week I decided to post my review.
We know the story - although it had been bubbed the `gay cowboy movie' - but it centres around Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal), two fairly typical 1960s Amercian lads (on the surface) who seek summer work herding sheep.
What unfolds when they are on Brokeback Mountain is first a friendship then an unlikely relationship, something that takes them both by surprise. The story follows their lives over the next 20 years.
It's easy to see this was based on a short story, there's four minutes before any dialogue.
I was just as moved the second time around as when I saw it at the movies. Nothing is lost on the small screen. The performances all round were excellent, though I though Anne Hathaway's character was a shade two-dimensional. I suppose when your husband keeps ducking off on `fishing trips' all the time it's understandable that some distance can come between you.
OK, the gay thing. If you can't see past it and look at the story being told I'd say don't bother seeing it, you won't like it anyway. That's just common sense. There is a sex scene and, as uncomfortable as it is and a couple of other scenes are, it is absolutely necessary to the story.
It's clear that both Jack and Ennis want different things from their relationship, which was clearly doomed from the start, and they have several clashes, all of which are brilliantly played out.
Heath Ledger is just amazing. Ennis is so tortured emotionally and there's a scene early on when he breaks down after he and Jack go their separate ways. His line `if you can't fix it you've got to stand it' sums Ennis up so well.
I could go on and on. This is a very emotional movie if you get drawn into it, I certainly did. And the final scene is a heart-breaker and had me well and truly welling up.

Reading update

OK, so I'm about 40% of the way through Roaring Lambs. I can see why it's so highly recommended although some of the emphasis on participating in media discussion has already been plugged at church a bit.
I'm nine chapters into Man And Boy and I'm loving it. Just the way it is written is engaging and you feel like you're part of the story a bit with the narrative style. Enjoying it immensely.

The story

This is the main text of the feature I was working on this week. I can't post a link to it as it's not up on the Daily Telegraph's website. If you like what you read have a look at today's Tele, because I reckon the layout and look of the story is amazing - if I do say so!


Joe's full of pride - Now with stables next to Cummings and Waterhouse, this is a young trainer going places
By: RAY HICKSON
SOMETIMES you have to take one step backwards to go two steps forward.
Trainer Joseph Pride has moved into his plush new Randwick stables, but with fewer horses than he had on his first day of training five years ago.
It's easy to forget that it was only five years ago that Pride joined the training ranks after four years working for one of the great modern-day trainers, John Size.
As he moves into a new phase by returning to Randwick, Pride revealed he had to make some tough decisions in order to enter the next phase of his career.
In making the move from Warwick Farm, where he was based for 4 1/2 years, Pride,34, has taken a calculated risk in halving his stable size.
``I've only moved in with a dozen because I just want to get a routine into place,'' Pride said this week.``It's going to take a week or two to settle in. The actual move has been a bit difficult, especially having to pack up everything and deciding which horses we'll put in the stable.
``I had between 24 and 28 out at Warwick Farm but that was built up from the start of the season. Cutting the numbers hasn't been an easy thing, but I'm getting better at it.''
A rising star among the Sydney training ranks, Pride is currently seventh on the premiership table with 23 wins, including seven stakes wins, after finishing 17th last season.
While he can't compete with the likes of John Hawkes and Gai Waterhouse on a week-to-week basis, the move to Randwick is all part of a master plan aimed at matching it with them when it counts --in the spring and the autumn.
``At the start of this season my goal was to finish top 10 and to train two city winners a month and I've done that, but I didn't have any plan for how many Group One winners I'd train,'' Pride said.``Reducing my numbers to start with is done with the best intentions for the owners and for the sake of my stable.``Not every horse is going to be profitable, but if after two or three preparations they can't win a midweek race then they probably don't belong in town.``If I want to continue to grow and move to the next level I have to make these decisions.''
It was around this time five years ago the one-time psychology student trained his first winner, a horse called Ireland at Wyong.
Right from day one Pride was a hands-on trainer, just like his mentor. That hasn't changed.
While he was given a head start with horses from Size and prominent owner Bob Ruttley, he's now a Group One trainer in his own right with two headline horses -- Doomben 10,000 and TJ Smith Stakes winner Red Oog and Coolmore Classic winner Regal Cheer.
``Group One races are the pinnacle of our sport and I can only hope to win more, but I am grateful to have horses capable of winning them,'' he said.``I'm not sure that's how trainers should be judged, because there are plenty of good trainers out there who don't get the opportunity with a good horse, but it's fantasticto win them.
``I was fortunate because I started out the right way and I have to thank Bob Ruttley and John Size for that.``I can see now that I was very much in the dark about what to expect when I started.``But I'm a lot wiser now and I hope in five years time I'll be wiser again.``I take my job very seriously and wear my heart on my sleeve.''
Shortly after Red Oog won the TJ Smith this year, Pride was asked whether he ever tired of being known as John Size's protege. He's quick to say no and even quicker to credit the now four-time Hong Kong champion trainer for all he has learned.
``John's an absolute champion trainer and any association with him I'm proud to have,'' Pride said.``I've got so much to thank him for and I'm very fortunate to have worked for him.
``He was never one to talk for the sake of talking.``Whenever he had something to say it always had substance to it.
``My first five years have been exciting.``I'm very grateful for the rewards racing has given me so far.``Not many jobs have such defined moments when you feel gratified for what you've done, like winning a big race.''
Because of his smaller team heading into the new season, Pride stopped short of setting a goal of making the top five in next year's premiership.Some new owners have come on board and eventually the 24 boxes Pride has at Randwick will fill up.
In the meantime, it's up to horses like Regal Cheer and Red Oog to keep the stable's flag flying.
``What I really need to do in the next year is repeat what I've done this year because the success of Regal Cheer and Red Oog has only paid back what myself and partner Kylie have poured into the business,'' he said.
``I'm going to need a bit of luck.``My numbers aren't going to be huge but hopefully the quality will be better.``People have big hearts to spend the money they do on horses.
``It's the dream of getting a good horse that keeps you going.
``Some people die without ever getting a good one so I have been very fortunate. Hopefully we'll train a champion one day.''

Work in progress

Even though today is a day off work I've spent a lot of time working on a story for publication later in the week. I actually conducted the major interview last night and then had a brainstorm when I was driving to my friend's house to watch OTH.
When I got there, barely after saying hello, I immediately sought out some paper to write down my thoughts and ideas for how it's going to look. I just couldn't turn my mind off.
Anyway, I'm pretty happy so far with how it's looking and I'll get someone at work to have a look at the rough product. It's always good to get someone else to look over your work because you tend to get biased about it.
I'll post it once it's finished and been published.

Extractions

I've just returned from the dentist and it turns out I have to have a couple of teeth pulled in a couple of weeks. It can only be good, I think, because it's quite crowded in there.
Thank goodness for health insurance otherwise this exercise would be a lot more expensive than it is.

Information Overload

The long awaited resumption of watching One Tree Hill happened last night with two crackerjack new episodes. So much information to take in and myself and my fellow devotees were left with so many questions.
What was unanimous, though, was that season 3 is going to be awesome. It just sucks that we can't watch this, like say The O.C. which is way inferior, weekly on TV.

Anyway, some of the questions that need answering are:
If it wasn't Lucas who tried to kill Dan, who did?
What will Deb do to get revenge on Dan for supergluing the phone to her face?
Where is Keith and when is he coming back?
Will Nathan and Haley get back together?
Will Haley go back to her `tutor girl' look (I hope so)?
Why the heck did Nathan call Chris and was it Chris and not Nathan wearing the Batman suit when `Batman' kisses Haley at the costume party?
How awesome did Peyton look as the angel of death?
Does Ellie really have breast cancer or is she trying to get Peyton's sympathy?
When will we see some basketball and will Whitey really retire?
Can Mouth get any funnier?
Will Brooke and Lucas ever get it together?

I could probably go on, it's just so exciting....

Acupuncture

As part of trying to maintain good health, I tried acupuncture this morning for the first time.
It was definitely a wierd experience.
I didn't know what to expect, even though I knew basically what was going to happen. I didn't feel the needles much at all and while I thought it went a little too long I think it was positive. I was told that I wouldn't notice much change for 24 hours so I'll be interested to see how I feel tomorrow.

Am I ashamed...?

What a great night all round at church!
We had a different preacher to our usual (not that they don't do a great job) and it was refreshing to have someone else's take on the bible.
Of particular interest tonight was the issue of grace. But I was struck down well before Con began talking.
I've already thanked him privately, but what Nathan said in his interview during family news really blew me away. It made me think things like: am I ashamed of being a Christian; do I not take the commitment I have with God seriously; can people notice that I am different or do I mask that under politeness.
A couple of minutes after Nathan finished talking my mobile rang with a call from someone I had spent much of the afternoon at work attempting to get hold of for a comment. Once I told him I was speaking quietly because I was in church he said `what are you doing at church, what are you looking for?'. I'm not proud to say I replied by saying `I don't know'. I immediately went onto the back foot. I don't want to be like that, hiding something that is so important.
(It's probably a good thing that I'm a few chapters into Roaring Lambs at the moment).
But hearing Nathan talk like he did really affected me. We all need wake-up calls, at times we all take things, including God, for granted.
Perhaps I'm a little bit like Will Hunting (back into Con's talk now) and it hasn't really got through properly?
There's probably more to come, as I think about this more.....

Countdown to Continuum

Good news all you great music lovers!
I have just discovered that my favourite solo artist (male) John Mayer has a new album coming out in September.
Titled `Continuum' it's Mayer's third CD if you don't include the Inside Wants Out EP and the Any Given Thursday live CD. I've sampled the first single called ``Waiting On The World To Change'' and I like what I hear.
I'm also ignoring the Try! recording of the John Mayer Trio which, although it had its moments, was largely disappointing.
From early indications I'm going to receive Continuum very warmly.
Welcome back John Mayer, you have been missed.

About to start reading.....

Man And Boy by Tony Parsons. It was recommended (and loaned) to me by a mate (Tom) from my work. He said that if I liked Nick Hornby books then I'd love this one. Below is a description of what the book's about. Unless you've read it, you know as much as I do at this point:

``Set in London, this is the not-to-be-forgotten saga of Harry Silver, who has it all: a beautiful wife, a wonderful son and a great job in the media. But in one night of infidelity, he throws it all away. His wife leaves to take a chance on a new life, leaving Harry at home with the daunting and exhilarating task of raising his son by himself. How Harry Silver discovers parenthood, learns to love his own father, finds a new love and makes the hardest decision of his thirty-plus years provides the magic and tension of this novel.''

I'm told it's a book that will move and affect me, which I love. Just like seeing a quality film that stays with you once you've watched it. The bar is high on this one...

The mid-year review

So it's just past half way through 2006 and I thought I'd list all the films I've seen (at the movies) this year to date and their rating, in reverse order (latest to earliest).
Feel free to disagree with my opinion, most people do.

21. Superman Returns 8/10
20. Cars 8.5/10
19. The Fast And The Furious 3: Tokyo Drift 7/10
18. The Break-up 7/10
17. Candy 7.5/10
16. X-Men 3: The Last Stand 7.5/10
15. The Da Vinci Code 7.5/10
14. Two For The Money 7/10
13. The Squid And The Whale 7.5/10
12. Mission Impossible 3 5.5/10
11. The Weather Man 8/10
10. A History Of Violence 8.5/10
9. Capote 9/10
8. Match Point 8.5/10
7. Derailed 7.5/10
6. Walk The Line 7/10
5. Brokeback Mountain 9/10

4. Underworld: Evolution 6.5/10
3. Good Night And Good Luck 7.5/10
2. The Producers 8/10
1. Fun With Dick And Jane 7/10

I reckon I'm a chance of breaking my record of 34 films set in 2004. I think the top few films of the year have already been decided, as highlighted, unless something unexpected comes along and blows me away. See you at the movies....

Business as usual, though I'd prefer it wasn't...

It's been a busy week and, as a consequence, I haven't been posting much.
So here's a link to one of my stories, so that you know I have been working as most people I know don't read the racing pages : http://foxsports.news.com.au/story/0,8659,19793661-32343,00.html
(I haven't as yet practised the art of the cool way to add a link)
I've been keeping a bit of a low profile as work has been incredibly stressful. I thought I was going to have a meltdown a couple of days ago but managed thanks to a relaxation tape and plenty of sleep.

Season Three draws near

At the risk of sounding like and obsessive, crazed fan, I'm excited today to discover the artwork for the release of One Tree Hill: The Complete Third Season!!!

(My blog is named after the show, so no-one should be surprised that the show gets a mention now and then.)

Set for DVD release in the USA on September 26, season three is being very hotly anticpiated in my house, having sampled the first two episodes already. On TV we're up to half way through season 1 so I'm not holding my breath about seeing them on TV first.

I know I could easily log onto the website and find out what happens in season 3 but that would ruin the fun, intrigue and suspense of watching it play out before you and discussing it afterwards with the few devotees here in Sydney.

By the way, I know it's just a TV show.

My 1996 USA trip - the soundtrack

When I was a second year Uni student I went on a month's trip to the USA taking in much of western America. It was during this trip that I saw my first episode of `Friends', saw snow for the first time, tried and failed badly at skiing, saw a sitcom being taped and many other things.

It started off in LA and took in Las Vegas, Colorado (particularly Steamboat Springs), the Grand Canyon (awesome) and Mexico. Two weeks were spent in LA where I saw a couple of Ice Hockey games (the Mighty Ducks were playing), went to a dinner theatre (next door to Medieval Times which was featured in the Cable Guy), Magic Mountain, Disneyland (pictured is me with Goofy, I forget which one I am), and a 20 mile bike ride along the beach.

The music that captured my attention and which always reminds me of the great time I had in the States is as follows:

1. I'll Be There For You-The Rembrandts
2. Name-Goo Goo Dolls
3. Breakfast At Tiffany's-Deep Blue Something
4. (What's The Story) Morning Glory-Oasis
5. One Of Us-Joan Osbourne
6. The Voice-Roxette
7. El Amore Que Sone (Open Arms) -Mariah Carey
8. Waterfalls-TLC
9. Down Under-Men At Work
10. Good Intentions-Toad The Wet Sprocket

According to the diary I kept I saw my first Friends episode on January 25, 1996 in Rosarito, Mexico. Among other things I almost got my ear pierced, saw San Diego Zoo, went on a road trip to San Francisco (love the place) and, also according to my diary saw a woman who looked like Pamela Anderson at the TV show taping. But I doubt it was her.

CD's revisited: Maybe Dolls `Propaganda'

The latest in my `CD's revistited' series takes us back to 1991 and the debut (and only) release by the Australian band Maybe Dolls. `Propaganda' was the name of the CD by Annalisse & Chris Morrow and it was a damn fine one if I do say so.
Maybe Dolls kind of came and went a little unnoticed (well I noticed). I recall seeing them live supporting I think it was Diesel on his Hep Fidelity tour. It was either Diesel or The Badloves. They were pretty much the only artists you could see in Tamworth if you're under 18.
You might recall their major hit `Nervous Kid' but the album, if you looked a bit further, had a few hidden gems.
What prompted me to revisit this CD was when their great ballad `Only Love' played at random on my computer from the wide selection that currently lives there.
Other tracks of note are `Cool Jesus' (which some of you who are around my age might remember), `Real Love' and one of my favourites `Never Look Back'.
Perhaps it's that I'm a sucker for nostalgia or perhaps there's just no really great music around at the moment (with a few exceptions), particularly on the Australian scene with far too many Idol also-rans clogging the market. Bands like Maybe Dolls, good honest soft rock/pop music, don't stand a chance.
I don't know why they only released one album. I did an internet search for the band and it only came up with one site and it was under construction. Perhaps this means there might finally be more from this excellent band. It would be a shame if there wasn't. Although, at least it can be said they never made a bad recording.

Everything

I've already written about Lifehouse's Everything once before among my 13 Songs but I felt compelled to post all the lyrics here as it's just such a moving and amazing song. It was playing while I was working away on the computer and it stopped me in my tracks. It always does.
If you haven't heard it, seek it out. Sit back, darken the room if you can, close your eyes and prepare to be moved.
Jason Wade writes some awesome lyrics on Lifehouse's three CD's so far but this is his supreme moment, I feel.
By the way, I found the picture at http://www.napruszewski.com/ashley/musicart.htm

Everything by Lifehouse
Find me here speak to me
I want to feel you I need to hear you
You are the light that's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.
You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, you're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Roaring Lambs - part 1

I'm about to start reading `Roaring Lambs' by Bob Briner. Church is pushing this book as something we all need to read and has been doing so for some time.

Until last night I was a little indifferent (I guess you could say it was one of those things I might get around to at some stage) about reading it but after a conversation with Andrew and Nathan (thanks guys) I decided that this book was one I had to have straight away.

So I left myself a reminder on my mobile to go and buy the book this morning. And I did. I don't really know exactly what to expect. All I know is that these guys said it was a life-changing book in many ways and so I was inspired to read it.

It's interesting that the recommendation on the back of the book, from a guy called William F. Buckley Jr, says `...bound to arrest the attention of the thoughtless Christian and the thoughtful non-Christian.'' I don't think, at this pre-Roaring Lambs stage, that I fall into either category. But that may well change once I finish it. If it's as good as everyone says it is, I'd say there might be some back-pedalling on this page sometime soon. Also, if it is so good and so inspiring (and I'm not doubting that it will be) I'm sure I'll knock it over pretty fast.

So, OK lambs let's hear it....

Further thoughts on Hillsong

It's been about a week since I purchased the new Hillsong live CD `Mighty To Save' and I think I'm going to stand by what I said earlier about its quality.
There are, in my estimation, three outstanding songs on this CD. The rest don't rise too far above ordinary and not really inspiring. I hate to say this about Christian music but I'm left with no other opinion.
The three great songs - `At The Cross', `From The Inside Out' (though it is a rehash) and `Mighty To Save' move, inspire and uplift me. The rest I just skip past. That's a big shame given there are 14 songs on the CD.
This has been a trend over the last few years with the Hillsong recordings. They take the best songs from the United recording, which is just lazy, manage one or two crackers among original songs then the rest seem like fillers.
The 2005 release had three or four memorable songs, the 2004 CD `For All You've Done' again had about five good songs and the best of them `More Than Life' was taken from the United CD of the same year. Then you go back to `Hope' which had an awesome title track `My Hope' and some solid back-ups. In 2002 it was `Blessed' which I still play quite a bit and includes the title track, `One Desire', `Through It All' and `Made Me Glad'.
Gone are the glory years (so to speak) of `Everyday' and `Shout To The Lord', which is still unparalleled in Christian music in my opinion.
So I've got into a few other artists, most notably Chris Tomlin and Jeremy Camp. Both of whom do great P&W songs and just great general pop-rock. Check them out if you haven't already.
It's time to stop now. You'd think I don't like Hillsong music from much of this. I really do. It's just, like any fan of any musician, there's more potential than product these days. Kind of like the U2 Zooropa/electronic period. It's OK but you know they can do better.

Party Of Five

A very welcome blast from the past with the release on DVD of one of my very favourite shows (and that is not a broad category) of the 1990s - Party Of Five.
It was weird watching the first couple of episodes today but also good because I used to always make time to watch. For the uninitiated, Party Of Five is about a family who are orphaned and left to fend for themselves as family services try to split them up.
It starred Scott Wolf as Bailey, Neve Campbell as Julia, later Jennifer Love Hewitt as Sarah (Bailey's on-off girlfriend) and Matthew Fox (Jack from Lost) as Charlie, the eldest of the group.
OK, so it was at times a bit depressing to watch. They were always having troubles of some kind but it still also made you feel good because at the heart of the show is the importance of family.
I'm going to enjoy reliving this show and I hope they hurry up with season 2 and beyond (I do note that season 3 is out in the USA but they get everything first).

Spider-Man 3 sneak peek

A couple of hours ago I saw the first trailer for Spider-Man 3 - is it wrong to be excited about a movie that is still 10 months away from release? OK, it's probably not wrong but maybe unfortunate as I can't very well speed up time (the years are going fast enough as it is).

The picture released from the film shows a darker Spider-Man, most likely a reference to the villain (hey, I spelt it right this time) Venom. Comic book nerds will know all about Venom so I won't try to explain him here other than to say it is my understanding that Venom is some kind of spirit that envelops the Spider-Man suit, turning it from red to black.

Like X-Men 3, there's a lot riding on Spider-Man particularly after the wonderful Superman Returns (in case you haven't read my comments - I loved it!) showing that, done correctly, superhero movies can rock. And Spider-Man 2 was awesome.

The trailer didn't tell you an awful lot, other than giving an indication that Venom will be a big part and that Spider-Man must stop him. I believe Sandman is another bad guy (played by Thomas Haden Church from TV's Ned And Stacey and the wonderful film Sideways) but I don't know much about him.

So come May 2007 we'll get a look at Spider-Man 3, I just hope they don't make us wait three years for every sequel to these superhero films.

Hillsong rant

Well Hillsong Conference 2006 starts today and, like last year, it looks like I won't be going. Not that things are as difficult as they were then. So far no signs of the problems of yesterday, which is good. Hopefully that will be the same tomorrow and that will make it easier to relax.

I bought the new Hillsong live CD `Mighty To Save' today. It's standard stuff. They don't seem to be featuring Darlene Zschech as much as they used to, on lead vocals at least. That's a huge loss to them if it's a conscious move away from her as worship leader. (Not of the church but the Hillsong band as such).
The best song on first listen is a Darlene led one, `At The Cross'. The title track is a weird name for a song, and an entire album, but surprisingly isn't a bad song. I just wish they'd stop re-hashing the Hillsong United CD which is released earlier in the year. The songs `Take It All' and the excellent `From The Inside Out' were ripped from the United CD just like `There Is Nothing Like' (one of my all time fave Hillsong tracks) was taken off the United CD and recorded for `God He Reigns' last year. If they'd taken `The Stand' (great song) as well I'd be pretty upset.
There's enough talent within the Hillsong team to not have to re-record their own songs. It's bad enough that the overall quality of the music is slipping without giving everyone the idea that they are running out of ideas for songs. I don't subscribe to the theory that any praise and worship/Christian song is a good song just because it's a Christian song. There are many out there that I don't like and that do absolutely nothing for me.
I like to be moved by music, either the words or the music, and not every Christian song does that. So Hillsong, in my opinion, need to bring Darlene back to the forefront. She's done two very nice solo CDs but without her the Hillsong music brand isn't as appealing. That's nothing against the musicians/songwriters that are there in her place. But would the Rolling Stones be the same without Mick Jagger? Is INXS the same without Michael Hutchence? Imagine U2 without Bono.
OK, so there's a bit of a long bow being drawn there, but you get my point.

Time of worry

I've been thrust unexpectedly into a time of intense worry. In short, I'm concerned that a relapse is about to happen.
I've always been afraid of it but they were largely irrational fears based on little evidence. This time it feels slightly different. It could still be just a scare but the next 24 hours will probably tell me whether or not it is. Without going into the gory details I noticed something this morning that shouldn't be there, some redness that may or may not mean problems. I have thought I've seen the same thing in the past but it looked different this morning.
I'm being intentionally careful with the details, you'll either know what I'm talking about or not.
No matter how much you prepare yourself for something it doesn't always mean much. I'm trying to keep the anxiety about it in check as well by telling myself that one time doesn't mean it's definitely happening. If it happens again tomorrow then I may really start to worry.
What this scare (because that's all it is at the moment) has revealed to me is that no matter how much I think I can control everything that I really have no influence over it.
God is in control of everything and if I am to have a relapse then he will get me through it. Just like he got me through it last time, almost a year ago.
It still isn't easy.

Timely Simpsons quote

Homer: ``I'm not normally a praying man but if you're up there please save me Superman.''
(From Lost Our Lisa episode)

Do I need a saviour?

It's a question I've been thinking about since I saw Superman Returns last night.
At one point in the film Lois Lane says to Superman that the world doesn't need a saviour and neither does she. He takes her on a flight above Metropolis and asks her if she hears anything. She says no.
``I hear everything,'' Superman tells her. ``Every day I hear people crying out to be saved.'' (That is the essence of what he said, I may not have it right word for word).
I'm going to avoid comparing Superman to Jesus, and in many ways that comparison can be easily made. Moreover I'm thinking about the question at hand: do I need a saviour?
Literally, I don't think I need to be saved but I guess it depends on how you define it. I don't think I need someone to come along and save me. Spiritually, I definitely need a saviour. Fortunately I have one, but at times I am guilty of forgetting him. (I was going to say ignoring him but it's not an intentional thing, like everyone I make mistakes but I don't feel I go out with an intention of sinning).
I often wonder what it is that will complete me. Is it a wife and a family? Am I just not letting God in enough/am I holding onto my worldly nature just in case? Do I need to feel loved? Why don't I feel as close to people as others appear to be? Am I alone?
I don't think I've come up with a clear answer but I do have a lot of thinking material.

Superman Returns

It's hard to say what the best thing about Superman Returns was. Was it the fact that it was so obviously shot largely in Sydney? Was it the theme music? Was it that Kevin Spacey plays an awesome bad guy?
Whatever it was about Superman Returns, the film is a winner.
Set five years after Superman II (thus ignoring the third and fourth Christopher Reeve films), Superman returns to Earth after searching for the remains of his home planet. In the meantime Lois Lane has had a child and is engaged to Richard, nephew of Perry White, the Daily Planet editor. She has also written an article called `Why The World Doesn't Need Superman'.
It was an inspired piece of casting with Brandon Routh as Superman/Clark Kent because, not only does he look like Christopher Reeve (which I think is the ultimate compliment to Reeve) he pulls off the goofy Clark Kent of the earlier films. In the early stages of the film Routh does look a shade plastic but as it goes on that's not so noticable. Perhaps it's just getting used to the new guy. Spacey is terrific as Lex Luthor. If I have a criticism it's similar to Mission Impossible 3's villan played by Philip Seymour Hoffman: he didn't get enough screen time, particularly in confrontation with Superman. But that's minor.
Clearly, what Bryan Singer brought to the movie was heart and a decent story, which is exactly what was missing from X-Men 3, from which he jumped ship to make Superman.
I'll comment briefly on an article I read during the week suggesting Superman was portrayed as gay. What a load of bollocks!
Early in it's development I was convinced Superman Returns couldn't be any good. Maybe I was blinded by the original movies. But it proved that, in the right hands, a superhero movie can be more than just special effects (though there were a lot naturally). I also thought at 154 minutes it would be too long but it didn't feel that way. And I got caught up in John Williams' original theme, it just makes you feel good.
I thoroughly enjoyed it and am happy to give an 8/10, or four stars for those who use that rating system.